Finale
by Duncan Johnson
Summary: An alternate universe story. What if Willow had died to save the world at the end of season six?
1. Willow

_Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer was created by Joss Whedon and is copyright Twentieth Century Fox. The property is used without permission. This is a non-profit making work of fan-fiction._

**Buffy the Vampire Slayer**

FINALE

By Duncan Johnson

_This story takes place after season six._

**1. Willow**

Her death changed everything.

It shouldn't have. Not really. Not after all the death we had already seen. Jenny. Kendra. Tara. Even Mom.

But Willow was different.

* * *

'I love you, Will.'

Xander stands at the edge of the cliff, his back to the Satanic temple, reaching, in its twisted way, for the sky.

Willow, magnificent and terrible as a star in the midnight sky, pauses, hands outstretched before her, purple flame leaping from fingertip to fingertip.

'You don't understand,' she tells him. 'I have to do this. The painit's too much.'

'No, I don't understand,' Xander agrees. 'How can you do this? This isn't you.'

'I can feel it, don't you see,' Willow says. 'I can feel their pain, everyone's pain, all that misery and suffering. And it's inside of me and it's clawing at me and I have to end it. I have to put them out of their misery.'

'How? By destroying the world?' Xander asks. 'Pardon me for saying so, Will, but that seems a little drastic.'

'It's the only way,' Willow insists.

'So you'd kill your friends?'

'Get out of the way, Xander,' Willow orders.

Xander shrugs.

'I kinda like it here,' he says.

'Don't make me hurt you,' Willow threatens.

'Will, you're gonna blow up the world,' Xander responds. 'Seems to me I'm going to die anyway. Less you change your mind, that is.'

'I have to do this, Xander,' Willow protests through gritted teeth.

'No,' Xander replied. 'No, you don't. You can stop this.'

'You don't understand,' Willow repeats. 'That's just it. I can't.'

* * *

The thing with Willow, you see, was that we had brought on her death ourselves. I know that sounds crazy, but bear with me a moment, okay. It goes like this. All those other deaths had been down to external causes. Buffy might blame herself for Angel going bad, but she didn't force him to snap Jenny's neck any more than she was responsible for the tumour that killed Mom.

But Willowwell, she was a victim of our lifestyle. The way we carried on, dabbling in the black arts and 'things beyond human understanding' like it was no more life-threatening than revising for a geometry test. And look where it had got us.

Willow's fate was a lesson to us all since it could all so easily have been any one of us.

* * *

'I can't.'

'What do you mean you can't?' Xander asks.

'It's all this power,' Willow explains desperately. 'Its everywhere, inside of me, like its controlling me.'

'Then fight it,' Xander says, taking a step toward his friend. 'You can fight it, Will. I know you can.'

'It hurts,' Willow moans, tears rolling down her face. 'Xander, I don't know if I can.'

'You can,' Xander insists, gripping Willow by her shoulders. 'You're strong, Will, stronger than it. Let it go. Let it all go.'

'I can't!'

'You can!'

And she does.

She tilts back her head and she screams and her scream echoes round the hilltop and down into the valley below. Violet flame bursts from her mouth and rockets into the sky like a fountain. It mixes with the dark clouds gathered above and thunder rumbles while lightning cracks. And as the energy leaves Willow so too does her strength. She seems to grow smaller in Xander's arms and she drains of colour, to the point where Xander can see the grass through her face. 

And as the last of the flame is expelled, so she fades away completely.

And Xander is left cradling empty air.

* * *

And just like that it was over. The world was saved yet again.

But would it have even been in danger if it wasn't for us?

Maybe that's why it cost us our friend in order to make things right, to punish us for our arrogance.

The only consolation we could draw was that things couldn't possibly get any worse.

I guess we hadn't learned our lesson after all.

* * *

The storm lasted for three whole days. 

I couldn't leave the house so I stood by my bedroom window and watched it rage. The clouds were a mix of purples and blues, like someone had beaten against the sky and it was now showing off its bruises. The white flashes of lightning were tinged with violet and the rain hammered relentlessly against the window-pane as the heavens cried for the death of their sister.

Speaking of sisters, Buffy was busying herself with household chores. I don't think the house had ever looked as shiny and new, even when it was new and we had just moved in. When was that? Six years ago? I know it's cliché, but it really did seem like a lifetime, not that it was far short for me, but you know what I mean.

You know, it seems horrible to admit it now, but I'd always been jealous of Buffy and Willow, jealous of that friendship they had. Sure, I had friends, but I didn't feel I could confide in them the way Buffy did in Willow. Janice, Drew and the others, I couldn't tell any of them about this. About my secret double-life as a demon hunter. Strange to think that phrase used to sound cool. Maybe it still does to you. I don't know. My point is that I may have friends, but I don't have - what's the word - a confidant. And, like I said, I resented Buffy because she did.

Not any more.

I was glad that I didn't have anyone who was that close to me because however bad I felt about Willow's death, whatever Buffy was going through was a whole lot worse.

* * *

My door was open, so Buffy knocked on the frame before stepping inside.

'Hey,' she said.

'Hey,' I replied.

'Some light show, huh?'

I shrugged.

'I suppose,' I said. 'Buffy, do you think it's her up there? I mean, you heard what Xander said, about her turning into flame and stuff and I was wondering if, well, maybe she was still hanging on as, you know, the storm.'

'Willow's gone,' Buffy promised me, shaking her head. 'And she's in a much better place than this. I should know.'

But I wondered if maybe she wasn't. If maybe, given all that she had done in her last days, if maybe she hadn't been allowed in that place after all. And I hated myself for thinking it. But I couldn't stop wondering.

'Listen, Dawn,' Buffy continued, 'I'm going to make a start on sorting out Willow's stuff. I was wondering if you might like to help. I know you two were close and I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you wanted to hang on to a few bits and pieces, you know, to remember her by.'

'I can't,' I replied.

Buffy looked at me with pity in her eyes. God, how could she? She was hurting most of all, but still she was able to feel sorry for me.

'I know,' she said. 'I shouldn't have suggested it. It's too soon.'

'It's not that,' I insisted hurriedly. 'It's justwell, it's that room.'

'The room.'

'It's stupid.'

'The room's stupid?'

'No, I am,' I said. 'I mean, no I'm not, but the idea's stupid.'

'And the idea is?' Buffy prompted.

'Well, I think the room might bewell, it's just an idea, butwell, it might becursed.'

'Cursed.'

'Yeah,' I said. 'Think about it. It was Mom's room, right, and now she's dead. And then Willow and Tara moved in and they shared that room and then Tara got shot. In that room. And now Willow'sand I can't help thinking that maybe'

'The rooms not cursed, Dawn,' Buffy promised me with a reassuring smile.

'I know,' I agreed. 'Like I said, it was a stupid idea.'

'So, are you going to come give me a hand?' Buffy asked.

'Maybe later.'

I turned back to the window after Buffy had left.

Of course, there was another possibility. If it wasn't the room, there was another connection between Mom, Tara and Willow.

Me.

Maybe I was the reason Buffy had died, too, even if she had got better.

The more I thought about it, the more the idea made a sick kind of sense.

And I collapsed on the bed and cried.

* * *

But I should know better than to try and get any sympathy from you, right? And it wasn't as if I was the only one who was suffering.

Think about this, for a moment. When Willow died, she didn't leave us a body. Now before you start thinking I'm being morbid, let me get to the point. With no body, how could we prove she was dead. And we couldn't tell anyone what had really happened because sure they'd believe us. Yeah, like that was gonna happen.

So Willow was officially listed as missing.

So when you think of us, grieving because we knew our friend had died, spare a thought for Mr and Mrs Rosenberg, who didn't even have the comfort of knowing what had really happened to their daughter.

Shortly after Willow's 'disappearance', Ira Rosenberg, Willow's dad, paid us a visit. I was upstairs at the time - I'd been spending a lot of time in my room lately, scribbling my thoughts in my diary - but I could hear shouting coming from downstairs so I decided to investigate.

'I told you, I don't know where she is.'

Buffy was in the lounge, standing in front of the couch rather than sitting on it and sounding as if she was trying very hard not to shout.

'But you must know something.'

Mr Rosenberg stood in front of her. He was not a tall man and, bent by grief, he was scarcely taller than Buffy.

'If I could help you, I would,' Buffy insisted.

'Willow lived here,' Mr Rosenberg continued. 'You were her best friend. She must have told you something. Anything. Some hint of what she was planning to do.'

'I wish she had,' Buffy replied, 'but she didn't.'

'I knew you were trouble from the start,' Mr Rosenberg said. 'Always into that strange New Age rubbish. Filling Willow's head with crazy ideas. I wouldn't be surprised to find that you're involved in this somehow. That's it, isn't it? That's why you won't talk to me.'

'That's not fair,' I protested from the doorway.

They both turned to look at me.

'Go back upstairs, Dawn,' Buffy said.

'But'

'Go,' she repeated. 'Mr Rosenberg was just leaving.' She turned back to Willow's father. 'The reason I won't talk to you is that I have nothing to tell you. Now I'd like you to leave my house.'

'Oh, I'll go,' Mr Rosenberg told her, 'but I'll be back. And I'll being the police with me.'

He opened the front door, but paused on the threshold.

As he turned back, his eyes met mine. He seemed to be fighting back tears.

'I just want my daughter back,' he said.

'So do I,' Buffy responded. 'So do I.'

* * *

True to his word, Mr Rosenberg did call the police and they did come round to question us. They didn't find anything, though - what was there for them to find? - but part of me wished that they had done.

* * *

The weeks dragged by. Janice called repeatedly, wanting to know why I was avoiding her. It wasn't just her. I was avoiding everyone.

But I couldn't stay hidden forever so eventually I agreed to go with her to the Bronze, though I did warn her that I might not be particularly good company.

'Any company'd be an improvement,' she told me over the phone.

I told Buffy I was going out and asked her if maybe she'd like to come with me. It might do us both some good to get back into circulation.

She told me that she and Willow had gone to the Bronze on the day they met.

I let the matter drop.

* * *

The Bronze was just as I remembered it, which is to say it was heaving (well, it was the only decent club in town). Fortunately, Janice had decided to wait for me outside.

'Hey, Dawnie, been awhile,' she said. 'You look great.'

'Really?' I asked.

Janice looked me up and down sceptically.

'Honestly?' she said. 'You look like you haven't done this for a while. But we'll get you back into the swing of things in no time. You'll see.'

'Thanks.'

We went inside and Janice led me to wear the rest of the gang were waiting.

'Jeez, Dawn, you look terrible,' Chrissie said. 'Did you let big sis dress you?'

'Ignore her,' Janice said to me. 'Surely you remember that much.'

* * *

I have to admit that I enjoyed myself that night. It was great to just hang out with friends and not have to worry about anything, you know.

Buffy should have come along. Let her hair down for a bit. Then again, she wouldn't have known anyone here. But she could have met someone. Or maybe it was too soon for that.

We had managed to capture a big leather sofa in the corner. It wasn't big enough for all of us, so Drew perched on one of the arms. Well, he did until Chrissie got up to get another drink. Then he stole her place.

'So, what's going on in the wonderful world of the Dawn?' he asked.

'Nothing much,' I replied.

'Come on,' Drew persisted. 'You've been holed up and home for like, what, three weeks now? And you're telling me that was nothing?'

I debated how much I could tell them.

'It's Buffy,' I said. 'One of her friends has disappeared. She's pretty cut up about it.'

'Man, that sucks,' Drew said.

We sat in silence for a while. Well, we were silent, even if the music continued to shake the walls. I felt guilty for ruining their night, but Drew had asked. Would it have been any better if I'd held out on them?

'Was she anywhere near the old warehouse on Chapel Street,' Drew asked, 'you know, when she disappeared?'

'I don't know,' I lied. 'I don't think so. Why?'

'Oh, no reason,' Drew said.

'No, you've got that look,' I said. And he had. 'Now, spill.'

'Okay, okay. It's just this story I'm working on.' Drew worked for the school paper.

'Drew, it's the holidays,' Janice said. 'Take a break.'

'I would,' Drew said, 'but I've just got a feeling about this one. I think it could be the big one.'

The 'big one' for Drew would be the story that got him noticed, the one that got him a job on one of the national papers.

'Well, go on,' I said. 'Tell us all about it.'

Drew leaned closer. He was probably trying to create an aura of mystery, but there was an outside chance he was just using it as an excuse to try and look down my top. Okay, better than outside.

'It's like this,' he began. 'You know Emily? Red head girl, sits at the front in Mr Chopski's class. Well, she was supposed to meet me last Saturday night.'

'Hang about,' Chrissie said. She had dragged over a chair rather than suffer the indignity if sitting on the sofa's arm. 'You expect us to believe you actually convinced a girl to go out with you?'

'It was about the paper,' Drew retorted. 'She was going to share the by-line on a story with me.'

'And where was this meeting going to happen?' Janice asked.

Drew ran a finger round the collar of his shirt.

'At the pictures,' he admitted. 'Look, can we get back to the case.'

'But this is so much more fun,' Chrissie purred wickedly.

'Oh, let him finish his story, Chrissie,' I said. 'Then we can tease him.'

'You're all heart you are,' Drew remarked. 'I keep asking myself what I see in you.'

'We're female?' I suggested.

'That could be it,' he agreed. 'Anyway, Emily didn't turn up. First off, I thought she might have given me the brush off.'

'That would have been my guess,' Chrissie said.

'But then I started asking around,' Drew continued, ignoring her, 'and it turned out that no one had seen her. She'd just disappeared.'

'And if I thought you were asking after me, I'd disappear, too,' Chrissie commented.

'Chrissie,' I complained.

'Well, I would.'

'But then I found out that she wasn't the only one,' Drew said. 'So far I've found out about five girls, all in our year, all of whom have justvanished.'

'And what are the cops doing about it?' Janice asked.

'Nothing,' Drew replied.

'Nothing?'

'Nothing. Nada. Zip,' Drew confirmed. 'It's as if they're trying to sweep the whole thing under the rug.'

'But why would they want to do that?' Janice asked.

'Beats me,' Drew said, 'but if I can figure that out, well, then maybe I'll finally have the big one.'

'But what was that about Chapel Street?' I asked.

'That was the other thing I found out,' Drew replied. 'Four of the five girls were last seen on Chapel Street.'

* * *

Now, there could have been any number of explanations as to what had happened to the girls. But this was Sunnydale. What do _you_ think had happened to them?

This was a job for the Slayer.

Assuming the Slayer was up to it.

She was sitting on the couch, rooting through the contents of a cardboard box.

She looked up as I entered.

'Dawn,' she said. 'You're back late.'

'Yeah, well, I'

But Buffy wasn't interested in my carefully prepared excuses.

'Xander brought this stuff round,' she said. 'They found some of Willow's things when they were clearing the Magic Box.'

She held something up. Don't ask me what it was, but it was a weird looking whatever.

'I was with Will when she bought this,' Buffy continued. 'She was so excited because she'd been looking for one of these for weeks. She was practically floating off the ground. Actually, I think she was and I had to drag her back down before somebody noticed. We couldn't stop laughing about it all the way home. I remember us laughing a lot back then. Beforewell, you know.'

'I know,' I told her.

Now was not a good time. 

Buffy still needed time to heal, but time was something those girls might not have. 

I practically ran up the stairs. In Buffy's absence, I would have to resort to Plan B. 

I snuck into her room. The chest was at the foot of the bed, but it was locked. Buffy thought that I didn't know where she kept the key, but, lets be honest, she doesn't really know me that well. I had the chest open in moments. (What, you thought I was going to tell _you_ where she kept the key. Guess you don't know me that well either.)

I paused for a moment, kneeling beside the open chest, admiring the gleaming weapons within.

Then I reached for what I wanted.

Look out, world, here comes Dawn the Vampire Slayer.


	2. Clem

**2. Clem**

'This is a very bad idea.'

'You've said that already.'

'Well, I'm saying it again.'

Clem and I crept towards the abandoned warehouse. Well, I crept. Clem kind of shuffled as quietly as he was able. The large orange sign on the warehouse read 'To Let'. It had been the same for as long as I had known this place existed. Apparently, so the school-yard gossip had it, potential tenants were discouraged by rumours that the previous occupants had been, well, eaten. The rent was cheap, but it wasn't that cheap.

'I just think we should have stayed at home,' Clem continued as we skirted the outside of the perimeter fence, 'where it's safe.'

'And what about those girls?' I said.

'Aw, jeez,' Clem complained, 'I don't want to see them hurt anymore than you do. But isn't this, like, a job for the Slayer?'

'Buffy's' I paused, searching for the words. 'Buffy's not feeling herself today. So it's up to us. Unless you want to go back. I could probably do this by myself, you know.'

'No way,' Clem replied hurriedly. 'If Buffy found out I let you go in there alone she'd kill me. And whatever's in there isn't anything like a scary as big sister.'

'Let's go, then,' I said with a smile and we continued to search for a way inside.

To be honest, I didn't know how much help Clem was going to be. I mean, sure, he was a demon, but even with all those layers of loose flesh, he wasn't a particularly scary one. And he wouldn't even say boo to a goose. He was just toonice. In a good way. But he wasn't going to be much use in a fight. Still, he looked big and tough and maybe that would be enough to frighten off thiswhatever it was.

'Hey, what's this?'

I crouched down to examine the fence. Someone had cut a hole in it, just large enough for me to crawl through. Clem, on the other hand, was going to have major problems.

'I'll never fit through there,' he said, shaking his head and waggling his floppy ears. 'Uh uh. No way.'

'We don't have time to go looking for another way in,' I protested. 'Whatever's holding those girls could be doing nastiness to them right now.' (Assuming he hadn't already.)

'And that's exactly why you shouldn't go in there alone,' Clem insisted. 'Maybe we should wait until morning. It might look less scary then.'

'We don't have time,' I repeated.

'I won't let you go in there,' Clem insisted.

'And just how are you going to stop me?' I asked as I wriggled through the gap in the fence.

'Oh Dawn,' Clem wailed. 'This is bad. This is really bad. I can feel it.'

'Look, I'm only going to take a quick look round,' I assured him. 'Nothing dangerous, I promise. You'll have found another way inside by then.'

'I guess,' Clem said sceptically. To be honest, I doubted it too, but since when was that the point.

'See ya,' I called over my shoulder as I ran in the direction of the dark building.

The windows had been boarded up, but round the back someone had worked some of the boards loose. There was a pile of crates stacked against the wall and I used these to reach the opening and clamber inside.

I turned on my flashlight.

The warehouse looked empty. Space just stretched on and on as far as the beam of my flashlight would reach. A metal walkway ran round the sides of the room, high above the ground. I put my foot on one of the steps leading up.

I could hear a clattering sound from up above. Someone else was in hear with me.

I hurried up the stairs, wishing I had worn different shoes. The sound of my boots on the metal steps seemed to echo around the warehouse. I prayed that it was just my imagination.

I pulled a stake out of my jacket pocket.

'Who's there,' I called out, trying to sound braver than I felt. Not that I wasn't feeling brave. I was, like, totalling calm. Just like Buffy. Oh, all right, I was practically wetting myself.

'Dawn? Is that you?' a voice called back.

'Drew?'

I shone the beam of the flashlight in the direction of the voice and, sure enough, there was Drew, crouched on the walkway. I quickly stuffed the stake beneath my jacket.

'Hey,' he complained as I shone the light in his eyes.

'Sorry,' I said, diverting it elsewhere.

'What are you doing here?' he asked as I squatted down next to him.

'I could ask you the same thing,' I replied.

'Hey, I've a right to be here,' Drew insisted.

'You've a right to go breaking into places in the middle of the night?' I asked.

'Like you can talk,' Drew retorted. 'Anyway, I'm here for the story.'

'Well, if you ask me, if looks like your story's up and left you,' I said.

'You think?' Drew said. 'Turn off that light and then take a look down there.'

I did as I was told and, as my eyes adjusted to the gloom, I was able to make out a faint green glow coming form a hole in the floor.

'What's that?' I asked.

'How the hell should I know?' Drew replied. 'But I know how to find out.'

'Drew, wait up,' I called after him as he hurried along the gantry. It creaked and groaned under his weight.

'Drew, I don't think this is such a good idea,' I began, but it was too late.

The section of walkway he was standing on gave way and Drew found himself tumbling to the ground.

He landed with a heavy thud.

I crawled gingerly to the edge of the hole.

'Drew,' I hissed. 'Are you okay?'

Please let him be okay, I prayed. Don't let him be another of my victims.

'It's my leg,' he called back. I think it's broken.'

'Don't move,' I told him. 'I'll get help.'

Cautiously, I inched my way along the walkway and back to the stairs. The old metal frame creaked in protest, but it held.

Had I somehow triggered the fall, I wondered. Sure, Drew would have been here even if I hadn't come along, but had I somehow jinxed him, the way I jinxed everyone else.

When I reached the ground, I was struck by just how much lighter it had become. I turned back and saw the green glow rising from the hole in the floor getting steadily brighter and brighter.

How could I have been so stupid? Of course, whatever was down that hole would have heard us. Buffy wouldn't have made that kind of mistake.

There was no time to get help. I had to get Drew out of the building like now.

I ran in the direction of the light, searching for him. I kept glancing from side to side in case I'd run past him in my haste. If I'd been looking where I was going then I might have seen the grey tentacle that snaked out of the hole. As it is, I didn't even realise it was there until it had wrapped itself around me and was dragging me down into the pit.

The light in the pit was provided by the glowing fungus coating the walls. At least, I thought it was fungus. Then I noticed a patch opposite me that was lumpier than the rest. And then the thing opened its eyes.

All right, I admit it, I screamed. Can we move on now?

I wasn't alone down in the pit. I counted all five of the missing girls down there with me.

'Did he grab you too?' one of the girls asked. I don't bother to reply since I felt the answer was pretty obvious.

'I was walking home from the Bronze,' another girl - Emily, I think - continued. 'What about you?'

'Well, er, actually I came her to rescue you,' I replied.

As one, the girls rolled their eyes.

'So what does he want?' I asked, gesturing to the blob stuck on the wall. 'It's not'

'Eww.' One of the girls wrinkled her nose. 'You're sick, do you know that.'

'It's nothing like that,' Emily explained. 'He just wants us to tell him stories.'

'Stories?' I asked.

'Stories,' a voice rumbled behind me.

I turned around. The fungus creature had opened its mouth and was addressing me.

'You will tell me a story,' it boomed.

'Um, I don't know any stories,' I protested.

A grey tentacle snaked out from the wall and coiled round me, pinning my arms to my sides and lifting me up off of the ground.

'You will tell me a story,' the fungus monster repeated.

So I did.

'Okay,' I began, 'once upon a time there lived a little red-haired girl. She was really, really smart, but she was like a total spaz when it came to anything sociable. No-one wanted to talk to her - or if they did it was only to call her geek, or worse - so the little girl was sad and lonely.'

'That's terrible,' the fungus monster complained.

'It gets better, I promise,' I said hurriedly. I didn't know what the monster did to narrators he didn't like, but I wasn't in a hurry to find out.

'Anyway, so there's like this sad and lonely girl,' I continued, 'but she's smart, see, and before too long she figures out that things in town aren't quite right. There are monsters and evil things lurking underground ready to pounce of the unwary.'

The fungus monster growled.

'Nothing like you, of course,' I amended hastily. 'I'm talking really vile, evil things. Terrible creatures with hearts that were blacker than black.'

(So I'm not a natural storyteller. I did warn him.)

'And the little girl,' I carried on, 'realising that her world was infested with these things decided she was going to do something about it. And it's not like she had to or anything. She wasn't chosen. She didn't have some mythical destiny. She just wanted to put things right. So the little girl worked long and hard and toiled late into the night studying the magic that she could use to fight these monsters. And when she was ready, she took her spells and started cleaning up the town.

'But you see, the strange thing was, the more she achieved the more she gained in confidence, and not just in her ability to battle the monsters. Oh no, she was growing as a person as well and before too long the little girl had transformed herself into a beautiful princess.'

'And did she get to marry a handsome prince?' the fungus creature asked eagerly.

'Well, they dated,' I explained, 'but it didn't work out. The beautiful princess, you see, was in love with another witch.'

The fungus creature's face contorted. If it had had a brow, then I would have said that it furrowed it. It didn't have a brow, so the overall effect was more than a little worrying.

'A male witch?' it asked. The idea was clearly bothering it.

Now, I know what you're thinking. I should have said, no, a female witch and they were both gay and that's just how it is. But there's a time and place to debate homosexuality and when you're suspended several feet above the ground, wrapped in the tentacles of a fungus monster that's holding a bunch of girls captive so they'll tell it storieswell, it's just so not the right time and place.

So instead I said, 'It's your story. If you want a male witch, you can have a male witch.'

The fungus creature seemed to relax a bit at that and I breathed a sigh of relief.

'And did they live happily ever after?' he asked.

'Well, not exactly,' I said. 'I mean, it all went well for a while and the princess and the witch were very much in love. But then an evilentered the kingdom. He wanted to take over, but the witch and the princess and their friends put an end to his villainous scheme. 

'And so, in revenge, the warlock killed the witch.'

'No,' the fungus monster said.

'Yes,' I said.

'And did the princess go after the warlock and kill him?' the fungus monster asked.

'Yes, she did,' I replied, 'but in order to fight him she had to summon dark magic.'

'Dark magic?'

The fungus monster's eyes were, quite literally, sticking out on stalks by this point.

'Yes, the evilest magics of the sort she had spent her life working so hard to destroy. And she killed the warlock, but the power corrupted her and turned her into a monster.'

'No!'

'Yes,' I said. 'And she tried to destroy the kingdom.' ('No!') 'And her friends tried to stop her, but she was too powerful.' ('No!') 'And all seemed lost.' ('No!') 'But then one of her friends, he went to her and he pleaded with her. He didn't try to fight her, he just told her how much he loved her and begged her to come back. And somehow his words reached what little of the princess remained inside the monster. And with her last ounce of free will she tore herself apart and threw her spirit to the four winds. 

'The kingdom was saved, but the princess was dead.'

There was a strange snuffling sound coming from the fungus creature. After a moment, I realised that it was crying.

'That's so sad,' it moaned. 'I don't like that story. I don't like it at all.'

'Sometimes that's just how the story works out,' I told him.

'But that's not fair,' the fungus creature complained. 'Stories should have happy endings. Those are the stories I like to listen to.'

'Me too,' I said quietly, 'but that's not the way life works.'

'Well, it should,' the fungus monster said petulantly.

'I'm sorry,' I said and I was surprised to find that I meant it.

'I just wanted to be entertained,' the fungus monster explained. 'It's so boring down here, stuck in a hole day in and day out. I just wanted to listen to some stories. Is that so wrong?'

'No, I guess not,' I replied.

'But I don't think I want to listen to any stories any more,' the fungus monster told me. 'Not if they're going to end like that.'

'I know what you mean,' I said softly as the fungus creature lowered me to the ground and release me.

The creature closed its eyes and the lower lip of its mouth was quivering. I found myself wanting to give it a hug, but how exactly do you hug a clump of fungus? And should it bother me that these questions keep cropping up in my life? This morning it would have done. This morning I'd been wondering what the point of it was, wondering why we had chosen a lifestyle which had killed our friend. But looking at the faces of the girls, all looking up at me for direction, it all came flooding back to me.

I knew why we did the things that we did.

Because it was right.

'Come on,' I said to the girls. 'Quickly, before he notices.'

I herded the girls up out of the pit. The walls weren't that steep and there were plenty of handholds. And the fungus creature seemed too caught up in its own thoughts to pay us much attention.

'Dawn!' Clem was standing at the entrance to the warehouse.

'Clem,' I called back. 'A little help over here.'

Clem bounded over to us in long loping strides.

'What the hell is that?' one of the girls exclaimed.

I rounded on her.

'Shut your mouth,' I snapped. 'How would you feel if we started making fun of the way you look. And believe me, we could.'

A couple of the girls giggled at that.

'Clem's got aa skin condition,' I lied. 'Deal with it.'

'Don't worry, it's not contagious,' Clem assured them.

'Yeah, like I'm getting close enough to find out,' one of the girls remarked.

I scowled, but let the matter drop. I had other things to worry about.

'Clem,' I said, 'can you give me a hand over here. We think his leg might be broken.'

'Stay here,' Clem said and hurried off outside.

'Drew, you still with us?' I asked.

'Well, I hurt like hell, so I guess I must be, yeah,' he replied.

'Cool. Listen, have you got your Gameboy with you?' I asked.

'What?' 

I gave Drew my most insistent look. 

'Yeah, sure, never leave home without it.' 

He fished it out of his pocket and handed it to me.

'Thanks,' I said. 'Back in a minute.'

'Hey,' Drew complained. 'What's going on.'

'Your big story,' I told him, gesturing to the formerly-missing girls. Then I clambered back down the hole.

'Look,' I said to the fungus creature, 'I'm sorry about, you know, how the story turned out.'

'Not your fault,' the creature said and sniffed. At least, it sounded like a sniff, but since the fungus monster didn't have a nose I wasn't entirely sure.

'I've got something for you,' I said, holding the Gameboy at arm's length, 'so you won't, like, be bored or anything.'

'That's nice of you,' the fungus creature said as it took the toy from me with a tentacle. 'No one's ever given me anything before. What does it do?'

'Well, first you have to turn it on,' I explained, showing it how to work it. Its eyes lit up as the screen burst into life and a big grin spread across its face.

'Well, I'll just be going then,' I said, backing away. But the fungus creature wasn't listening. Clearly Nintendo was far more interesting than girls. Men. What else was there to say?

Clem had improvised a splint from one of the crates and was binding it to Drew's leg as I emerged from the hole. His fingers were surprisingly dextrous.

'Well?' he asked me.

'Let's get out of here,' I told him.

'That's what I've been saying all night,' he said.

He scooped Drew up in his arms and headed for the door.

I folded my arms and looked at the five girls.

'Well?' I prompted.

They reached the exit before Clem did.

* * *

Later, we were walking back through the cemetery to Clem's place. We had found an all-night diner and were sharing a bucket of chicken wings between us.

'Sun's coming up,' Clem remarked, pointing to the lightening horizon.

'Good thing today's not a school day,' I replied.

'So, have you got to get back or shall we see if there are any cartoons on?' Clem asked.

'Cartoons sound good,' I confirmed as we stepped inside the crypt.

We stopped on the threshold.

There was a black shape sprawled in front of the TV.

'What are you doing here?' I demanded, reaching for my stake.

'What do you think I'm doing?' the figure shot back. 'I bloody live here?'

My jaw dropped open.

'Spike?'


	3. Spike

**3. Spike**

'Spike?'

He was lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. He rolled over so that he could look at me.

'Little bit?' he said.

He looked terrible. I mean, okay, hard to imagine Spike looking anything less than perfect, but his eyes seemed hollow, his skin stretched tight over his skull. He ran a hand through his bleached blond hair in an effort to straighten it.

'What are you doing up?' he asked me. 'Won't big sis have a fit or something?'

'I was out patrolling,' I replied.

'Patrolling?' He laughed. 'They let you do that now?' 

He pointed at the stake still clasped in my hand. 

'You won't be needing that,' he said.

I left the stake where it was.

'Suit yourself,' Spike muttered. 'Guess I deserve that.'

'You bet you do,' I snapped. 'You shouldn't have come back. After all you've done, how could you?'

'This is my home,' Spike said, leaning on the armchair to haul himself to his feet.

'Well find a new one,' I told him.

'Chicken wing?' Clem offered.

'Do you really think I don't feel like hell for what I've done?' Spike asked me.

'No, I don't think you feel anything,' I replied. 'I don't think you can.'

'Dawn, I' Spike took a step towards me, hand outstrectched.

I shrunk back, the stake raised between us.

Spike stopped.

'Dawn, I don't want to hurt you,' he said.

'It's got nothing to do with what you want,' I shot back. 'You can't hurt me, not with that chip in your head. You've been neutered, Spike, but a neutered dog is still a dog.'

'Once a killer always a killer, is that what you think?'

'I trusted you, Spike. I even liked you.'

'And now?'

'What do you think?' I asked. 'I hate you. You're an animal, Spike. It'd be a mercy to stake you right now.'

'Now, hold on a minute,' Clem began. Not that anyone was listening to him.

'A mercy,' Spike repeated. 'You could be right, there. So why don't you.' 

He spread his arms wide.

'There you go, a nice big target for you. All you've gotta do is run me through. Well, what are you waiting for?'

'II can't,' I admitted, turning away.

'What's the matter? Can't even hurt a defenceless animal, even if it is a vampire,' Spiek taunted. 'Then let me do it for you.'

He lunged forward and grabbed hold of my wrist in both hands. He was close enough that I could smell the cigarette smoke on his breath.

'Clem!' I screamed.

Spike hauled on my wrist and I could feel the bones grinding against each other. The sharpened tip of the stake scratched against his shirt, tearing the fabric.

'Come on then,' he shouted, face contorted by pain. 'Be a hero. Kill me. Kill me!'

'No,' Clem said. He clamped his massive hands on Spike's shoulders and dragged him away from me. As soon as he let go of my wrist, the fight seemed to go out of Spike and he collapsed against Clem.

'Kill me,' he whispered. 'It's got to be better than this.'

'Now, don't be silly,' Clem told him. 'All this talk of killing is ruining my appetite. So why don't you just sit down and maybe we can help.'

'Yeah, right,' I muttered, trying to massage some feeling back into my wrist.

Spike slumped in the armchair.

'You think I don't feel anything?' he asked me again. 'You couldn't be more wrong. Where do you think I've been?'

'Like I care,' I responded. 'I just wish you'd go back there.'

'I went to Africa,' Spike continued. 'Lousy trip. I went to get a soul.'

'A soul?'

'Yep, little bit,' he replied, 'Spike now has a soul in residence. Just like your friend Angel.'

'You're nothing like Angel,' I told him.

'And that's supposed to depress me?' he mocked. 'That's the best news I've had all day.'

'I don't see what difference it makes,' I said, 'whether you've got a soul or not. You're still Spike and you still' I hesitated. I couldn't say it, didn't even want to think about it. 'You still did what you did to Buffy.'

'And how do you think I feel about it, what with a soul and all,' Spike replied. 'The bloody thing's making replay everything I've ever done since becoming a vampire and it's tearing me up inside.'

I tried not to let any pity show on my face. He deserved it. He was a monster and he deserved everything he got. At least, that's what I kept telling myself.

'But you know what the worst of it is, munchkin?' Spike continued.

I shook my head.

He grinned up and me and there was a glint in his pale blue eyes.

'Part of me enjoys it,' he said.

* * *

I didn't bother sticking around for cartoons. Instead, I headed straight back out into the early morning and hurried home. I climbed up the trellis on the wall and hauled myself through the window I had left open.

Buffy was waiting for me.

'Surprised to see me?' she asked. 'You think I haven't tried this trick enough times myself.'

I stared at my feet.

'Where the hell have you been, Dawn?' she snapped. 'I've been worried sick. We've all been combing town looking for you.'

'I' 

Was there actually anything I could say that wouldn't make things worse? Maybe if I told a big fat lie she'd think it was so incredibly unlikely it must be true. On the other hand, judging by the way she was looking at me, that was what she was expecting. She was right, she had done this before.

I settled for the truth. She did this kind of thing herself. She'd understand.

'You _what_!'

Or not.

'I had to do something,' I protested. 'There were people in danger.'

'You should have told me,' Buffy insisted.

'II would have done,' I admitted. 'I was going to. But then I saw you going through Willow's things and, well, I didn't know if you were ready. I mean, all of this, it's kinda knocked us all for six and you most of all. I just wanted to give you time, Buffy.'

'So rather than confide in me, you decided to go it alone,' Buffy said, 'walking straight into danger.'

'Well, um, I was just trying to do what you'd do in my place,' I replied.

'I'm invulnerable,' Buffy shot back. 'You're not.'

'Look, I'm tired,' Buffy said, 'and everything seems to have turned out okay so what do you say I forgive you this time out. But if you ever pull a stunt like this again.'

'I won't, I promise,' I told her.

'You'd better not,' Buffy said.

Buffy got up and headed for the door.

'Buffy,' I called out before she could leave.

'Dawn?'

'There's something you should know,' I said. 'Spike's back.'

* * *

She left the back door open for him.

At first I thought she was crazy, but the more I thought about it, the more I could see why she had done it. They were going to have to confront one another sooner or later. Better for it to be on her terms.

We ate dinner in silence. I tried to start a conversation a few times, but Buffy wasn't interested. Her murderous boyfriend was back in town. She had other things on her mind, big time.

After dinner, she sent me up to my room. When I started to protest she told me that I could stay the night with Anya. I wasn't going to leave Buffy alone, not tonight, so I went upstairs without complaint. I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I doubt Buffy really expected me to sleep, she just wanted me out of the way. I'd respect that, as far as it went, but if I heard anything downstairs that I didn't like, I planned to be down there in a heartbeat. I guess that was why I was clutching my stake so tightly that my knuckles were white.

Shortly after dusk, Spike let himself in.

Buffy was sitting in the lounge. She didn't have any lights on, but the moon was full and its light streamed through the windows.

'Spike,' she said, when she saw his silhouette appear in the doorway. A crossbow rested loosely in her lap, not pointed in any particular direction.

'Buffy,' he replied, taking a step forward.

'Stay exactly where you are,' Buffy commanded. 'Rule number one, Spike: make any moves I don't like the look of and I will shoot you. You're fast, but not that fast.'

'Oh, I dunno about that,' Spike said as he risked another nonchalant step forward.

A crossbow bolt embedded itself in the wall inches from his head.

'The next one goes through your heart,' Buffy explained coldly. 'I'm not playing games, Spike.'

'No, of course you're not,' Spike replied, taking that step back. 'Sorry.'

He didn't seem to know what to do with his hands so he stuffed them into the pockets of his leather coat.

'What do you want, Spike?' Buffy asked.

'What do you think I want?' he replied. 'I want to make things right between us.'

'Never gonna happen, Spike,' Buffy told him. 'Now, if that's all you wanted, I'd like you to leave. And if I never see you again it'll be too soon.'

'Buffy'

'Go, Spike. While you still can.'

'Buffy, don't think I don't feel bad about what happened,' Spike told her. 'I see everything replayed on a camera in my head and it's eating me up from the inside out.'

'Dawn told me about your soul,' Buffy said. 'I kind of see it as poetic justice - you should appreciate the irony.'

'Buffy, I'

'I'm not finished,' Buffy snapped, jumping to her feet. 'You may have a soul and you may be suffering agony for everything you did without one and maybe I should feel pity for you because of it. But frankly, I don't care. I don't want any more to do with you.'

'Buffy,' Spike began, 'if I could take back what happened, you know I would. All I can say is that I'm sorry.'

'Sorry?' Buffy's voice was breaking with emotion. 'Is that the best you can come up with? Spike, you tried to rape me.'

'But I didn't,' Spike protested. 'I would never do anything to hurt you. You know that.'

'The only reason you didn't go through with it,' Buffy told him through gritted teeth, 'was because I stopped you.'

'Buffy, if I'd known I was going to hurt you,' Spike said, his voice small and pleading, 'if I had realised'

'How many times do I have to say 'no' before it sinks in, Spike?' Buffy replied.

'But, I though you wanted it,' Spike tried to explain.

Buffy shook her head in disgust.

'That had nothing to do with what I wanted, Spike,' she said. 'That was all about you and your animal lusts. Real human beings are able to surpress their urges, you seem to revel in yours.'

'But Buffy, I've changed,' Spike protested.

'Oh yes, your precious 'soul',' Buffy retorted sarcastically. 'You really think that makes a different. A soul doesn't change who you are and you're still the same old Spike. I could see that as soon as you stepped into the room.'

'That's not true,' Spike replied.

'Isn't it?' Buffy asked.

'Of course not.'

'Really.' Buffy paused. 'When I look at you, I see Spike. I don't see this brand new person you claim's inside your body. I don't think he exists. Having a soul may make you think twice about what you do, but is it really gonna change you. I know you, Spike, and I don't think a pang of conscience is going to hold you back. I'm right, aren't I? I can see it written all over your face. Think about what you've done since you got a soul. I bet it's not all that different from what you did before. It takes more than having a soul to make you a good person, Spike, and you just don't have what it takes.'

'I can change,' Spike insisted. 'You'll see.'

'I doubt that,' Buffy said. 'And even if you could, it wouldn't matter. You said it yourself, you can't take back what you've done. It's over between us. I should never have allowed it to start.'

'You wanted it as much as I did,' Spike told her.

'And that's the only reason you're still alive,' Buffy explained, eyes downcast, 'the thought that somehow I led you on, that I might have been partly responsible for what happened.'

'But we can put it behind us, Buffy,' Spike persisted. 'We can start over.'

'No,' Buffy said. 'No we can't. It's far, far too late for that.'

'But I love you.'

Buffy laughed at him.

'Love me?' she said. 'I don't think so. Whatever you felt, it sure as hell wasn't love.'

'Buffy, I went and got a soul for you,' Spike continued.

'Then you had a wasted trip,' Buffy replied. 'Now why don't you leave. Leave my home. Leave my town. Go find yourself a nice demon girl to pester. I'm sure there's one somewhere with lousy enough taste.'

'But Buffy, I want you,' Spike said. 'Don't you get it, I want _you_.'

And he lunged forward so fast that Buffy didn't have time to level the crossbow. He knocked it from her hands and grabbed her by the shoulders, holding her firm while he forced a kiss upon her, roughly.

'Enjoyed that, didn't you, Slayer?' he said.

Buffy recoiled in shock.

'You...you bastard,' she breathed.

Then she brought her knee up into his groin and, as he doubled over, she backhanded him, sending him tumbling across the room. He collided with the table, shattering it.

'You still don't get it, do you,' she shouted at him. 'This has nothing to do with what you want. Nothing, do you hear me.'

Spike looked up at her. Blood stained the protruding brow that betrayed his vampiric nature. He snarled at her.

'You see?' Buffy said, pointing. 'You see what I've been getting at? You don't even have to scratch that far beneath the surface to find the true Spike. You know, it sickens me that I once thought that you might be different. That, even though you were a vampire, you might at least deserve a bit of respect. But you're no different to the rest of them, are you? You're just an animal. A monster. Now get. Out. Of. My. House.'

Spike struggled to his feet and shuffled from the room. Buffy watched his every move.

He paused in the doorway and looked back over his shoulder. He wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.

'You know, maybe you're right,' he admitted. 'Maybe I am a monster. And maybe it's time I started acting like one.'

And with that, he disappeared into the night, the door slamming closed behind him.

I had been sitting at the top of the stairs, listening to their every word. More than once I had been the verge of running downstairs to help, but I owed it to Buffy to let her try and handle things her way. As soon as Spike was out of the house, though, I was leaping down the staircase.

'Buffy?' I said.

She had collapsed on to the couch, head in her hands as she cried.

I sat down next to her and tentatively put an arm around her.

'Buffy,' I repeated, 'it's okay. He's gone now. It's all right.'

Buffy raised her head and looked at me through red-rimmed eyes full of pain.

'You don't understand, Dawn,' she told me. 'He'll never be gone. He'll always be here, inside of me. Reminding me I'm vulnerable. Reminding me I'm weak. And he'll never know how much he's hurt me. Or how much he still hurts me.'


	4. Dawn

**4. Dawn**

Given time, life started returning to normal, or as close as it ever gets to normal. Spike's threats were pretty much ignored. With the chip stuck in his head the only one of us he might actually hurt was Buffy and, like, in a fight between the two of them do you really think he's going to stand much chance? I didn't. At least, not then.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The new school year had started and I was easing myself back into the daily grind of classes and assorted boredom-inducing stuff. It wasn't all bad news, though. Janice, Chrissie, Craig and Drew were still there to keep me sane.

(If Buffy's friends were the Scooby Gang, did that make us the Scrappy Gang? Now there's an embarrassing thought. I hope no one else has come up with it.)

It turned out that Drew hadn't broken his leg in the fall, but he had sprained his ankle so he was hobbling around everywhere on crutches, much to the amusement of the rest of us. (What? Like you wouldn't laugh if it was someone you knew.)

'Hold on to these, could you?' he asked, handing his crutches to Craig so that he could unsling his backpack and reach his lunch bag. Drew, sensibly, brought his own lunch to school.

'Have you seen the posters?' he asked us as he lowered himself on to the red plastic chair.

'What posters?' I asked. I looked across at Janice and she gave me a blank look in return.

'Oh, come on,' Drew protested, 'they're everywhere.'

'Huh?' I said. Intellectual comment could wait until after I'd refuelled.

'The school play?' Drew prompted. 'Auditions?'

'Oh,' Janice remarked. 'That.'

She started absently pushing food around her tray with her fork.

'And this interests us because?' Chrissie asked.

'Get real,' Drew replied. 'It's _The Wizard of Oz_.'

'_The Wizard of Oz_?' Craig repeated. 'I love that movie.'

'That,' Chrissie told him, 'is because you're twisted and strange.'

'Hey!' Craig protested. 'What about'

He tilted his head back, opened his mouth and

'No!' we all exclaimed in unison.

'Okay, we all agree. It's a great film,' Janice said hurriedly. 'Just don't sing.'

'See, works every time,' Craig said to Drew. Drew rolled his eyes.

Chrissie lazily raised a hand.

'Still waiting to be struck by 'the point',' she said.

'Well, my little cherub' Drew began.

Chrissie kicked him under the table and he squealed in pain. Manfully, of course. I think those two have a thing going.

'Well,' Drew tried again, 'the point is that it's _The Wizard of Oz_. And they're holding auditions. And you can be in it.'

'If you're about to suggest that I could be the Wicked Witch of the West, I wouldn't,' Chrissie said. 'Really I wouldn't.'

'I wasn't going to,' Drew lied unconvincingly. 'I don't see what you're problem is. I'd kill to get a part.'

'I say, go for it,' Chrissie told him. 'You're a shoo-in for the Scarecrow.'

'Oh, so it's okay for you to assassinate my character, but not the other way round,' Drew replied.

'Yep,' Chrissie said.

'Children,' Janice remarked.

'So are you going for it?' I asked Drew.

'With this leg?' he asked. 'You've got to be kidding. Of course, you could go in for it.'

'Me?' I said. 'Uh uh. No way.'

'I think it's a great idea,' Chrissie said.

'What? But you just said'

'True,' Chrissie agreed, 'but it could be fun watching you suffer.'

'Thanks a lot,' I muttered.

'I don't know,' Janice said, sizing you up. 'I could see you as Dorothy.'

I scowled at her.

'I thought you'd jump at the chance,' Drew said. 'After all, it's your fault I can't audition so you kind of owe me my vicarious acting experience.'

'My fault?' I exclaimed. 'I didn't make you go to that warehouse.'

'That reminds me,' Drew continued. 'What were you doing there.'

'Well, I'

'And how is your friend with the skin condition?'

'Skin condition?' Chrissie asked.

'Can we get back to the play?' I said hurriedly.

* * *

'All men are bastards.'

It was not a sentiment Anya was going to argue with.

'I mean, how could he do that to me?' her companion continued. Her name was Trudie. She hadn't told Anya this, but she knew it anyway. Think of it as a gift. Trudie was in her late twenties and her blonde hair was tied up in a pink scrunchie. Her son Mark, strapped firmly in the pushchair, was pulling faces at the ducks.

'Do what?' Anya asked. She could feel the grief and the hurt radiating from Trudie, could taste her need for vengeance. That was what had drawn her to this park bench in the first place.

'He's been seeing someone else,' Trudie complained.

Well, that one's new, Anya thought. Not.

'Go on,' she prompted.

'It's my mother,' Trudie told her.

Okay, Anya admitted to herself, maybe this one was a little different after all.

'Some men like the moremature woman,' Anya explained.

'He told me he loved me,' Trudie moaned.

'And?' Anya asked. Were all women this naïve?

'We've got a son,' Trudie said, indicating Mark. 'If he didn't want me, why did he let it go this far?'

'Because he's a man,' Anya explained, 'and intelligent thought is completely alien to them.' She leaned closer, conspiratorially. 'Bet you wish he was hurting just as much as you are right now.'

'Yes.'

'Bet you wish his eyes would swell up and burst right out of his face.'

'Uh huh.'

'Or maybe you'd rather he were covered from head to toe in puss, filled warts,' Anya suggested. 'No woman would look twice at him then.'

'Too right,' Trudie agreed.

'Or maybe, if he likes them old and grey, he should be aged and decrepit himself. What do you say?'

'Sounds good to me.'

'Well?' Anya prompted.

'Well?' Trudie asked.

'Well, wish already,' Anya snapped.

* * *

So eventually they convinced me to audition. I agreed for three reasons.

Reason One. So long as we were talking about the play, Drew wasn't asking about Clem and fungus monsters and all manner of Sunnydale goings on that I wanted to keep hidden.

Reason Two. I actually like acting. Or I used to, back when I was a bit younger. It's kind of fun being the centre of attention. I'd gone off it the past couple of years, though. You know that phase you go through as you get older where you're more concerned about looking cool than having a good time. That was me. So, much as I might protest about getting up on stage, I was also kinda looking forward to it.

But by far the most compelling reason was Reason Three. Kirstie was auditioning. Kirstie and my relationship was defined by a mutual antipathy. I was finding it easier to ignore her as time went on and she was increasingly leaving me alone as she discovered she couldn't rile me as much, but I did get a guilty rush of pleasure every time I imagined the look on her face when I beat her in the audition.

* * *

Halfrek sipped at her mochaccino. 

'So how's the whole vengeance gig working out?' she asked.

'Okay, I suppose,' Anya admitted. Her coffee sat untouched on the silver tabletop.

The Espresso Pump was busy, but not crowded. A man was playing a guitar in the corner, to the delight of some of the patrons, but, in Anya's opinion, he was no Giles.

'You suppose?' Halfrek asked. 'What is your problem? Come on, tell Aunt Hallie?'

'Aunt Hallie?' Anya repeated sceptically.

'Just roll with it,' Halfrek replied.

'I got a call this morning,' Anya explained.

'A vengeance call?' Halfrek asked. 'That's great, honey.'

'That's what I thought,' Anya replied.

'I'm sensing issues,' Halfrek said. 'Something's up.'

'Something's definitely up,' Anya agreed. 'This woman's husband is cheating on her. With her mother.'

Halfrek whistled.

'Now there's something you don't see everyday.'

'She wants him to drop dead, Hallie,' Anya continued.

'No imagination, some people,' Halfrek mused. She pointed at Anya's coffee. 'Are you going to drink that?'

'Here,' Anya slid the drink across the table.

'So, what's the problem?' Halfrek asked. 'I mean, it's a simple enough wish. You could do it from here if you wanted to.'

'But that's just it, Hallie,' Anya said with her head in her hands. 'I'm not sure if I want to.'

'What? You don't think this girl deserves her vengeance?' Halfrek asked. 'Now if someone was cheating on me with my mother - which is frankly disturbing given that she's been dead for the past hundred years - but if someone was cheating on me, I'd want to see him suffer. Give him what he deserves, that's what I say.'

'But killing him?' Anya asked. 'That's a bit, well, final.'

'This doesn't sound like you, Ann,' Halfrek remarked. 'What happened to the girl who wished plague on an entire village without batting a beautiful eyelid.'

Anya said something in reply, but her words were drowned out by the crooner in the corner who had suddenly decided to let rip.

'I'm sorry?' Halfrek said.

'I said, that was then,' Anya repeated, raising her voice to compete with the warbling. 'But I've been mortal, Hallie, and it's terrifying. I'm not sure I would wish mortal death on anybody.'

'But it's not up to you, Anya,' Halfrek told her. 'If that's what she wished for then you're compelled to deliver.'

'But' Anya began. 'But what about their kid.'

'What about him?' Halfrek asked. 'This isn't up to him. Or you. It's up to the girl. She's wished him dead and you have to grant her wish. That's what Justice Demons do.'

'Vengeance Demon,' Anya corrected. 'I'm a Vengeance Demon.'

'Semantics,' Halfrek replied. 'You're a Justice Demon same as me. And we're both bound by the same rules. Of course'

'What?'

'It's nothing,' Halfrek insisted.

'Hallie,' Anya said.

'Oh, all right,' Halfrek capitulated. 'All I was going to say was that if this bothers you so much maybe you should try thinking outside the nine dots. That's all.'

* * *

Ten girls were auditioning for the part of Dorothy. That made twelve of us in the hall: the ten of us, Mr Gleeson, who was directing, and Drew, who was there to give me moral support. I needed it. Our audition piece was a song. Somehow the fact that _The Wizard of Oz_ was a musical just hadn't registered. I was going to kill Drew when this was all over. Or maybe just maim him a little.

Kirstie stood imperiously to one side, confident that the part was already hers. She had even brought along a plush toy dog, which she was carrying about in a basket. I wasn't worried about her, though. You see, I knew one thing that Kirstie had obviously forgotten. She was tone deaf.

She was the first up, but she barely got through the first couple of lines of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' before Mr Gleeson stopped her.

'Thank you, Kirstie,' he said. 'I think we've heard quite enough.'

'So did I get it?' she asked. She was so eager it was embarrassing. She was even wearing red shoes, I noticed.

'We'll, er, let you know,' Mr Gleeson replied.

Don't call us, we'll call you. 

'That was certainly something,' Drew told Kirstie as she climbed down from the stage. 'As soon as I figure out what I'll let you know.'

Kirstie strode past him, pretending she hadn't heard. Mere mortals like us were beneath Kirstie's notice, which was just the way we liked it.

Unfortunately, I seemed to have found a way to register on the Kirstie radar.

'You might as well pack up and go home now, Dawn,' she condescended. 'No way are you getting that part.'

'We'll see,' was all I said in response.

I was the eighth girl up on stage, by which stage my knees were knocking together. Isobel, the sixth girl to try, could sing. And I mean really sing. Any hope I had entertained of getting the part was swiftly evaporating.

I climbed up on to the stage.

Drew was sitting in the front row of seats. He winked at me as I took up my position.

'Take your time, Dawn,' Mr Gleeson said as he launched into the same spiel he had given to all the other girls. 'And I want you to think about what the song means to you. I want you to sing from the heart. Convince me how important this is to you. When you're ready.'

I took a deep breath.

_'When all the world is a hopeless jumble and the raindrops tumble all around.'_

My voice was small and tentative. Unsure. I thought of Tara's death. I thought of the disaster that had been Willow and Anya's nearly wedding.

_'When all the clouds darken up the skyway there's a rainbow highway to be found.'_

I thought of what Spike had done to Buffy. And I thought about Willow's fate and I thought about what it had done to all of us.

And I stared out across the hall, past Mr Gleeson, beyond Drew, out into the distance. 

And I thought of a place where Buffy didn't have to be the Slayer.

_'To a place behind the sun.'_

Of a place where Mom didn't die.

_'Just a step beyond the rain.'_

Where we could be a proper family.

_'Somewhere over the rainbow'_

And I was away, up there amongst the bluebirds.

The next thing I knew I was back on the stage and Drew was clapping wildly.

'Encore! Encore!' he shouted.

I smiled weakly, embarrassed, and hastily clambered off of the stage.

'That was brilliant,' Drew whispered to me, as I sat down next to him. 'I didn't know you had it in you.'

'To be honest,' I admitted, 'neither did I. But I wasn't that good, surely?'

Drew just shook his head.

When the final two girls had taken their turn, Mr Gleeson took his place on the stage.

'Well, ladies,' he began.

Drew raised a hand.

'And gentleman,' Mr Gleeson added. 'It appears that we have found our Dorothy.'

It was Isobel. Had to be.

'And she is'

Mr Gleeson was interrupted. By a flock of, well, flying monkeys. Seriously. If I were making this up, don't you think I could come up with something better than that?

'Cool special effects,' Drew said.

You've no idea how tempting it was just to let the monkeys eat him.

The room erupted into the kind of panic you might expect from a bunch of teenage girls being attacked by a bunch of primates with bat wings. Or maybe not, if that doesn't happen in your life very often. But this was Sunnydale so we were kind of used to it by now. Blasé, you might say. Which is probably why the girls' primary objective was not running for their lives, but instead keeping the flying monsters out of their hair.

They needed have worried. The monkeys were only there for one thing.

Me.

Figures.

I stumbled backwards, knocking over chairs and collapsing in a tangled heap on the floor. Graceful I was not.

The monkeys circled around me, whooping and cawing.

'Drew!' I shouted. 'Your crutch. Give it to me.'

'What?' Drew said. 'Oh, right. Here.'

I took the crutch from him in my left hand and swung it in an arc, clocking one monkey on the side of its head.

Another monkey dived at me, drool dripping from its fangs.

I turned the crutch so I had a hand on each end. Then I lashed out, catching the monkey first on its forehead and then under its chin. It spiralled groggily away.

I spun the crutch and, holding it halfway up in my right hand, I stabbed out as if I was fencing. I struck a monkey once, twice, three times in the chest and it squealed in pain.

Then I swung the crutch up in the air, hooked the monkey with the handgrip and dragged it down so that I could poke it in the eyes.

After a few more minutes of this treatment, the monkeys gave up and flew back the way they had come with their tails between their legs.

'Wow, Dawn, that was so cool,' Drew remarked.

'Drew, I said, still lying on my back on the floor, 'any chance of a hand up?'

* * *

Anya couldn't bring herself to cross the threshold.

It was the first time she had returned to the Magic Box since it had been levelled. The rebuilding was progressing on schedule, but she was not sure if this wasn't worse. Everything that she had worked at, everything she had poured her heart into had gone, replaced by thiswhatever it was. There were no memories attached to this place, no life. Maybe she could learn to love it, but at the moment it was just a thing and not the home from home it had once been to her.

But maybe that was no bad thing. Maybe she could do with a fresh start. Not all the memories attached to this place were good ones.

'Anya, is that you?'

Xander was walking towards her. He was wearing a sweat-drenched T-shirt that showed off his arms.

'Xander,' Anya said. 'I was just passing so I thought I'd see how you were doing. With the shop.'

'It's going great,' Xander replied, stepping outside and taking off his yellow hard-hat. 'It's slow work, but we're doing okay.'

Anya nodded thoughtfully.

'That's good,' she told him.

'I would invite you inside,' Xander continued, 'but we're still working on the roof and it's not really safe yet.'

'Uh huh,' Anya agreed absently.

'So,' Xander said, 'how've you been. I haven't seen you around lately.'

'I've beenbusy,' Anya explained. 'There's a lot of paperwork to do if I want to get this place up and running again.'

'Couldn't you get Giles to help you out with that?' Xander asked. 'I mean, I know he's in England and all, but'

'This is my place, Xander,' Anya replied. 'Giles respects that.'

'Right,' Xander said. 'But you're getting by okay? No complaints?'

'Look around, Xander. What could I possibly have to complain about?' Anya responded. 'But I'm coping. I managed for a thousand years before you came along. I'll manage just fine now.'

'Of course,' Xander said hurriedly. 'I mean I know all that, but I still care, Anya.'

Anya opened her mouth to say something, then snapped it shut and turned away.

Xander tentatively put a hand on her shoulder. It felt warm and rough against her skin, strong and masculine. She looked at the hand.

'Don't,' she said.

Xander took the hand away.

'And how about you, Xander?' Anya asked. 'Are you 'getting by okay'?'

'I get by,' Xander replied. 'There's plenty of work for me to do andno, I'm not okay at all. Willow's dead, Ann. I know you guys didn't always get on, but she was like the sister I never had, you know. She was always there for me and I knew she was still going to be there when I we were both old and grey. I just knew.'

'You fantasised,' Anya told him. 'Life doesn't turn out the way it does in dreams. Ever.'

'Yeah, maybe so,' Xander agreed. 'Doesn't mean I have to like it.'

'No, I don't suppose it does,' Anya agreed.

Xander paused for a moment and stared up into the sky.

'I just get so lonely,' he admitted. 'I miss you, Anya.'

'And you want me to be there so you don't have to get old and grey alone, is that it?' Anya sneered.

'No, you don't understand,' Xander replied. 'I miss _you_.'

'I'

Whatever Anya had been about to say was cut off by the leathery sound of beating wings.

Screeching filled the air as a black cloud descended towards them.

'Inside,' Xander said, taking Anya by the wrist.

'But you said'

'It's got to be safer than out here,' Xander replied, dragging her inside.

They threw themselves to the ground as the flying monkeys swooped through the doorway after them.

'What are those things?' Anya asked, clambering to her knees.

'Does it matter?' Xander replied, searching for something he could use as a weapon.

'Find cover,' he instructed her. 'I'll hold them off.'

'But'

'Go!' he shouted.

There was a sledgehammer propped up in the corner. They had been using it to demolish what was left of one of the interior walls. Xander dived towards it as a monkey swept down at him. Its claws raked his back and he cried out in pain.

'Xander!' Anya called.

'Stay back,' he ordered her.

His fingers clamped around the haft of the sledgehammer.

He could hear the beating of bat-like wings, listened to it as it got louder and closer, waited and then

He swung the sledgehammer in a huge arc. It slammed into the side of the monkey's head and its skull collapsed like an aluminium can.

'Gotcha,' Xander said. He wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand.

'Who wants some?' he cried as another monkey floor down in his direction, talons extended, mouth open in a scream.

Xander stood his ground and at the last possible second he swung the hammer upwards and felt the satisfying crunch of breaking ribs.

The hammer came to rest by his feet. It was heavy and his arms ached. The pain in his back was intense. He was becoming light-headed and he wondered how much blood he was losing.

Then he heard the cawing of another monkey and he tried to lift the sledgehammer for a third time.

Anya was hiding underneath the counter. The blue paint was peeling off and, for one crazy moment, she wondered if she should consider a new colour scheme. Then she heard a thump as something landed on the counter-top.

Don't move, she told herself. Don't even breathe. Maybe it will just get bored and fly away.

She strained her ears, but she couldn't hear it anymore. All she could hear was the beating of her heart and the pounding of the blood in her ears.

Maybe it's gone, she thought. Maybe I should take a quick look to be sure.

The monkey swung its head down below the counter. Its eyes were red and wide and drool dripped from vicious-looking fangs.

It screeched at her.

Anya screamed right back.

Then the monkey stopped screeching.

The tip of a screwdriver protruded from its forehead.

Then, slowly, the monkey toppled over the edge of the counter and landed in an unmoving heap at her feet.

She screamed again.

A figure stepped around the counter.

'Need a hand?' he asked, offering her a hand up.

'Xander?' she asked as she took the offered hand in her own. 

Then she looked up into his face, noting the excuse for a beard and the small, curved horns protruding from his brow.

'You?' she said.

'Miss me?' Trix asked.


	5. Trix

**5. Trix**

'Hey Buffy, you'll never believe what happened at school today.'

I bowled into the lounge and threw my bag into the armchair.

'Ouch,' Xander complained as it landed in his lap.

'Let me guess,' Buffy said. She was standing at the window, watching the street. Her favourite sword was in her hand. 'You were attacked by flying monkeys.'

'Well, that too,' I admitted. 'I'm guessing I wasn't the only one.'

Xander was in the armchair, Anya was on the couch and sitting next to her, was that

'Trix?'

'The one and only,' the demon replied.

'I thought you'd left Sunnydale for good,' I said.

'Yeah,' Xander agreed. He seemed less than happy to see Trix back. Understandable really, butwell, he'd had his chance.

'What can I say?' Trix remarked with a shrug. 'I came back.'

'Getting back to the point,' Buffy said, 'I was attacked by monkeys at the DMP. Had to drop one in the deep fat fryer so I wouldn't eat there for a while, if I were you.'

I pulled a face.

'Xander and Anya were attacked at the Magic Box,' Buffy continued, 'but they managed to fight them off.'

'With a bit of help from Trix,' Anya added.

'I just happened to be passing,' Trix said.

Xander groaned.

'Oh please,' he said. 'Can you believe this guy?'

'Xander 'this guy' saved my life,' Anya snapped. 'Or has that slipped your memory?'

'I could have handled them,' Xander replied. ''Sides, am I the only one who thinks it's a bit suspicious laughing boy showing up when he did?'

'Oh we're not going to start all this again, are we?' Anya complained.

'Trix is a friend,' Buffy told Xander. 'We can trust him.'

'Like we trusted Spike?' Xander asked.

'Xander!' I said. 

'It's okay, Dawn,' Buffy said. 'Xander's entitled to his opinion. But Trix is part of the unit and if he can't deal with that he's more than welcome to leave.'

'No way,' Xander told her. 'Someone's got to stay and keep an eye on him.'

'Whatever,' Buffy said. 'We need to come up with some kind of plan.'

'We could always do research,' Anya suggested. 'Well, that's what we usually do, isn't it? If Willow were here, I bet she'd be hitting those books already.'

'Well, she isn't here, is she?' Xander remarked.

'I was only saying'

'Well don't, okay,' Xander snapped. 'A lot of things would be better if Willow was here. Being reminded of that doesn't change anything, 'cept to make it worse.'

'Leave her alone,' Trix said to Xander. 'Anya's only trying to help. I don't see you doing anything constructive. Unless you're planning to beat these monsters with self-pity.'

Xander got up.

'I'm just going to get some air,' he said.

'What's the matter?' Trix asked. 'Truth hurt?'

Xander slammed the door behind him.

'Trix,' Anya scolded him.

'What? He started it.'

'Enough already,' Buffy complained. 'We need to focus.'

'What's the point?' Anya asked. 'There's hardly a Scooby Gang left anymore?'

'There's us,' I said before Buffy had a chance to reply. 'That's enough.'

Trix grinned at me.

'I'm with her,' he said.

I blushed.

'Well that makes three,' Buffy said. 'What about you, Anya?'

'What do you want me to do?' she asked.

Buffy thought for a moment.

'How many books survived the Magic Box?' she inquired.

'Some,' Anya replied. 'They're all in boxes over at my apartment.

'Could you bring them over here?' Buffy said. 'I think you're right about the research angle. Know your enemy and all that.'

'Ill go get them now, if you like.'

Anya got to her feet.

'No, wait,' Buffy said. 'Now's not a good idea. I've got a shift at the DMP tonight. Could you bring them round in the morning? We can go through them tomorrow.'

Anya shrugged.

'Whatever.'

* * *

Trix left with Anya.

'So,' he asked, 'how was the wedding?'

'It wasn't,' Anya replied, 'as if you didn't know. That is why you came back, isn't it?'

'What can I say?' Trix asked. 'Word gets around.'

'So now I'm a laughing stock, I suppose,' Anya complained. 'Not that I don't deserve it.'

'What? You think you're the first demon to fall for the wrong guy?' Trix replied. 'Love makes people do crazy things.'

'Is that you're excuse?' Anya asked.

'Well, crossing half a continent just to see how you are does seem kinda crazy, doesn't it?' Trix admitted.

'Trix' Anya began.

'You don't have to say anything,' he said with a languid shrug. 'I'll understand if you're not interested.'

'It's not that,' Anya said, 'it's just that my life's really complicated at the moment, what with the Scoobies and the shop and the whole vengeance gig. And you coming back like that, well, it's thrown me and I honestly don't know what to think.'

'Hold on, back up,' Trix said. 'Did you say that you were back on the whole vengeance deal.'

'Uh huh,' Anya agreed. 'D'Hoffryn offered me my old job back.'

'That's great news,' Trix said. 'How are you finding it?'

'Pretty much how I left it,' Anya replied, 'but it seems so much tougher than I'm used to. Everything used to seem so simple.'

'That's because you're still thinking like a human,' Trix told her. 'Take a leaf out of my book and stop worrying about it.'

'Maybe,' Anya mused. 'Are you really as laid back as you pretend to be?'

'Give me something to get worked up about,' Trix told her, eyes sparkling in the moonlight.

'No, Trix, not tonight,' Anya said.

'Then when?' he asked.

'I don't know,' Anya protested. 'I need time to process all of this. Figure out where I stand. Right now, what I need most is some alone time.'

'Whatever you want,' Trix said, melting away into the shadows so only his sparkling grin remained. 'Just remember I'm here if you need me.'

Then his grin, too, evaporated.

* * *

Carl McIntyre rang the bell to what oh-so-recently had been his own house.

Trudie, his wife, opened the door to him.

'What do you want?' she asked.

'I just came to pick up some things,' Carl replied.

'So you can go running back to her?' Trudie snapped. 'My mother?'

'I'm staying with a friend from work,' Carl told her. He kept his voice level. He had not come here to argue. 'A male friend, before you ask. It's over between Wanda and me. It should never have started.'

'You've got that right,' Trudie told him. She did want an argument.

'Daddy!'

Mark came trundling along the hallway on stumpy legs.

'Hello, junior,' Carl said, squatting down so that he was on eye level with his son.

'Mark, go back inside,' Trudie told him.

Mark put a finger in his mouth and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, unsure of what to do.

'Mark, go inside,' his mother repeated.

'Yes, Mommy,' Mark said, reluctantly waddling indoors.

'You can't keep him from me,' Carl insisted.

'You don't deserve him,' Trudie shot back.

Carl hung his head.

'Can I at least get my stuff?'

'I'll post it to you,' Trudie told him. 'Now get lost.'

'Trudie, I'

'Go already, Carl,' Trudie shouted. 'Just go.'

Carl turned to leave, but whirled around when he heard a popping sound coming from inside the house. An attractive blonde had appeared beside his wife.

'I think you had a wish,' the blonde said to Trudie.

'Yes,' Trudie said without hesitation. 'I wish he'd drop dead.'

'Wish granted,' Anya said.

* * *

I found Xander sitting outside in the garden.

'You okay?' I asked.

'I'll be fine,' Xander said. 'Guess I acted pretty stupid in there, huh?'

'I've seen worse,' I told him.

'Not as comforting as I might have liked,' Xander told me.

I plonked myself down next to him on the bench.

'What's gotten into you, Xander?' I sighed.

'I don't know,' Xander admitted. 'It's just, well, like no one can say anything without reminding me of Will, you know. In the good old days, she would have been the one who came out here to find me, to use a little bit of that Willow magic to cheer me up. That was what was really special about her. She was magic even without all the witchy stuff.'

'I know,' I agreed.

'Things used to be so simple,' Xander continued. 'Giles was always wise and grown-up, Buffy was responsible, I was the clown and you were just annoying.'

'Hey,' I protested, digging him in the ribs with my elbow.

'Sorry,' Xander said. 'Just trying out a little levity. See if I've still got it.'

'Needs a little work,' I told him, 'but I miss funny Xander.'

'I miss him too,' Xander said. 'Him and sweet, innocent, caring Willow. What happened to her, Dawnie? What happened to change her like that? Was it us? Did all the monsters and the demons and the evil whatchamahows rub off on her? Hmmph, Giles would have a quote for that, but damned if I can think of it.'

''Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into  
the Abyss, the Abyss gazes also into you',' I said. Xander stared at me, his mouth hanging open. 'What? You think Giles and I never talked about stuff. You left me alone with him often enough while you guys were off saving the world.'

'I guess we did at that,' Buffy said, joining us outside. 'I just never imagined we were creating a mini Giles.'

'Will the world ever forgive us?' Xander joked, ruffling my hair with his hand.

'Hey,' I complained. 'Not the hair.'

'Is this a private party?' Buffy asked and I shuffled up to make room for her. She turned to Xander. 'You were a bit hard on Trix back there. He only wants to help.'

'I know, I know,' Xander said. 'It's just'

'You don't like seeing him with Anya,' I deduced. 'We kinda noticed that.'

'I love her,' Xander explained.

'Then maybe you should be telling her that,' Buffy suggested.

'I would, butwell, everything's different now,' Xander said.

'Different how?' I asked.

'She's a demon,' Xander replied, 'and I don't know what that's supposed to mean. It used to be that we killed demons. Wasn't that our job? But now we're friends with them. Heck, I even think I'm in love with one. When did everything get so complicated? I just wish things were back the way they were.'

'We all do,' Buffy told him. 'We all do.'

'Anyway, enough with the maudlin,' Xander announced with forced cheerfulness. 'Someone here has some news for us that doesn't involve airborne primates. Am I right, Dawn, or am I right?'

'Well?' Buffy prompted.

'I'm playing the lead in the school play,' I told them.

Buffy scooped me up in a hug.

'That's great news, Dawn,' she said.

'Yeah,' Xander agreed. 'What is it? _Dracula? The Bride of Frankenstein. The Rocky Horror Picture Show?_'

Buffy scowled at him.

'Still experimenting with the levity thing,' he confessed.

'It's the _Wizard of Oz_,' I said. 'I'm going to be Dorothy.'

'_I would not be just a nothin' my head all full of stuffin', my heart all full of pain_,' Xander sung softly. '_I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry, if I only had a brain._'

'My, my, Xander,' Buffy chuckled, 'you have hidden talents.'

Xander blushed.

'Yeah, well,' he muttered, coughing, 'just don't tell the guys at work, okay?'

''Kay,' I said. 'Just promise you'll be there on opening night.'

'Wouldn't miss it,' Xander promised.

'I can't believe my little sister's going to be a star,' Buffy said.

'I wouldn't go that far,' I said.

'Hey,' Buffy said. 'Allow me some big sisterly excitement here.'

We both started giggling.

Xander cleared his throat.

'Hate to spoil the Hallmark moment,' he said, 'but I really should be going.'

'Sure,' Buffy said, 'but we'll see you tomorrow morning, right?'

'Bright and early?' I added.

'Don't know about bright and early,' Xander replied, 'but some good old-fashioned Scooby monster mashing? Wouldn't miss it. See you tomorrow, Dorothy.'

* * *

Carl clutched at his chest. His mouth was open, but the only sound that would emerge was a thin, rattling gurgle. His eyes rolled back in their sockets and he fell to his knees. Then he collapsed on to his side and tumbled down the steps leading up to the door.

'Wh-what did you do?' Trudie asked Anya, her hands at her mouth.

'What you asked for,' Anya replied. 'I killed him.'

'You killed him,' Trudie said.

'Well, technically,' Anya agreed, 'but if we really want to get into it - and it's not as if you've got anything better to do, though I would much rather be a thousand other places than with a widow and a corpse - if you really want to get into it, all I did was grant you your wish. That's what I do, you see. Grant wishes. You wished him dead and Bam!, deader than the Bronze on a Monday night.'

'But you'

'Oh, get over it already,' Anya said. 'You hated him. You told me so. You wanted him dead.'

'No I didn't,' Trudie said. 'Not really.'

'But you said'

'I know what I said,' Trudie snapped, 'but I never thought'

'Mommy?'

Mark had waddled up behind his mother.

'Oh god, Mark,' Trudie wailed, doing her best to shield her son from the corpse sprawled across the drive.

'What have I done?' she asked herself.

'I would have thought you would be happy,' Anya said.

'Happy?' Trudie replied. 'Are you nuts? I loved the bastard. He hurt me, hurt me so bad I wanted him to suffer for it, but not this. Nothing like this.'

'Well you should have thought of that before you started wishing people off this mortal coil,' Anya retorted. 'Really. The naivete of some people.'

'Can't youcan't you bring him back?' Trudie asked.

'Doesn't work like that, I'm afraid,' Anya explained. 'I only have the power to grant wishes.'

'In that case,' Trudie said, tears streaming down her face, 'I wish Carl was still alive.'

Sirens wailed as an ambulance screeched round the corner and skidded to a halt before disgorging paramedics who immediately set to work on reviving Carl.

* * *

'And that was that,' Anya said.

She and Halfrek were back at their table in the Espresso Pump.

'Isn't that a little like cheating?' Halfrek asked her.

'Hey, he was clinically dead for at least ten seconds,' Anya insisted. 'Do you really think I'm stupid enough to try to cheat the powers involved in this.'

'Well, there was that whole Xander thing,' Halfrek commented.

Anya frowned.

'You promised you weren't going to mention that.'

'Sorry, guess it just slipped out,' Halfrek apologised. 'Anyway, wasn't that all a bit dangerous. If you'd left him any longer he would have suffered permanent brain damage.'

'But I didn't,' Anya said. 'I had this whole thing planned down to the last second. I've become quite the organiser over the past few years.'

'That you have,' Halfrek agreed. 'But what if she hadn't wished him back?'

'Then I'd have looked a little silly when that ambulance came round the corner.' Anya pointed at Halfrek's frappacino. 'Are you going to drink that?'

'Yes, actually,' Halfrek replied, taking a sip. 'Seems like you went to an awful lot of trouble to save one man's life.'

'But it was the right thing to do, Hallie,' Anya said. 'Isn't that the point of being a Justice Demon?'

'And who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?' Halfrek remarked.

'Less of the old,' Anya said. 'I doubt you'll look anything like this good when you reach my age.'

'Miaow,' Halfrek said, making claws in the air with her hands. 'But I'll forgive you. It's the senility talking.' She took another sip of her drink. 'And what about him? Do you think he's learned his lesson?'

'He'd better have,' Anya replied. 'Otherwise I told him I was going back to finish the job.'

'And would you?' Halfrek asked.

Anya shrugged.

'Maybe.'

'You know,' Halfrek remarked, 'you could always give this up. Go back to being a mortal.'

'I don't think so,' Anya replied.

'Don't want to give up the immortality,' Halfrek deduced.

'Well, that's part of it,' Anya agreed with a smile, 'but it's more than that. I'm the Patron Saint of Scorned Women.'

'Self-styled,' Halfrek muttered into her drink.

'Whatever,' Anya continued. 'The point is I have responsibilities and, after a thousand years, I think I'm finally starting to realise what that means. And I kind of like it.'

* * *

Anya pulled her coat tighter around her as she hurried back to her apartment. The warm glow she was feeling wasn't quite warm enough.

She rounded the corner and almost collided with the figure leaning against a wall.

'Well, well, well,' said the figure, taking a long drag on his cigarette. 'What's a nice demon like you doing out alone on a night like this? You never know what disreputable types you might bump into.'

'You?' Anya said.

'Yeah, me,' the figure agreed. 

He reached out and cupped her cheek in his hand. She flinched away.

'Now, don't be like that,' he said. 'I thought we had something special, you and me.'

'That was before'

'Why does everyone keep harping on about that. It's ancient bloody history. A lot's changed since then.' He reached out and grabbed Anya again. 'A lot. Now, we can do this the easy way or I can set my new friends on you first.'

The monkey at his feet chittered eagerly.

* * *

We all gathered at our place the next morning. Well, by all I mean me, Buffy and Xander.

Buffy checked her watch.

'What's keeping Anya?' she muttered.

'Do you want me to go and look for her?' Xander suggested.

'I'm not sure if that'd be a very good idea,' I said. There was a knock on the door. 'Besides, I bet that's her now.'

It wasn't.

'Is Anya here?' Trix asked after we had let him in. 'She's not home.'

'You were at her apartment?' Xander said.

'She's not here, either,' Buffy told Trix.

Trix began pacing.

'I'm worried about her,' he said.

'_You're_ worried,' Xander commented.

'She's probably just forgotten,' I suggested.

'Yeah, because that's likely,' Xander replied.

'What's that?' Trix shouted.

A flying monkey smashed through the front window.

'Get down!' Xander shouted at me as he shoved me to the ground.

Buffy picked up her sword, which was resting by the window, and swung, but the monkey had already sped out of reach.

Then Trix sprung, powerful legs carrying him halfway across the room in a single leap. He clamped his hands around the creature, pinning its wings to its sides while he opened his mouth. His jaw seemed to dislocate, creating far more space than should have been possible and revealing row upon row of teeth. And then he snapped those teeth closed around the monkey's neck and tore out its throat.

'Nasty,' Xander said.

'You're telling me,' Trix replied, spitting bits of monkey onto the carpet. Then he seemed to realise what he was doing and turned to Buffy. 'Sorry. I'll clean all this up for you.'

But Buffy wasn't listening. She had stooped to examine something held in one of the monkey's talons. 

It was a note.

As she unfolded the note, something fell out from inside of it. Xander snapped it up before it could hit the floor.

It was a lock of dyed blonde hair.

'Anya,' he breathed.

Buffy was examining the signature on the note.

'Spike,' she said.


	6. Anya

**6. Anya**

'Why are you doing this?' Anya asked her captor. 'I thought you said I was the only one of them you could stand.'

'That's true, love,' Spike agreed, 'but, excluding Buffy, you're also the only one I can hurt, too. You being demon an' all.'

Anya was chained to a pillar. A flying monkey perched above her, toying with her hair with its talons. Anya shook her head to try and get rid of it, but it would not be dissuaded.

'So these flying monkeys were your idea,' she said.

'Found a nest of 'em not too far from here,' Spike explained. 'They're not terribly bright, but they'll follow orders well enough.'

Spike paused in his pacing to light a cigarette.

'Do you mind?' Anya demanded.

Spike blew a cloud of smoke into her face.

'What's the matter?' he asked. 'I didn't think Vengeance Demons got lung cancer.'

'Justice Demon,' Anya corrected automatically.

'Justice Demon?' Spike repeated sarcastically. 'Ooooh. So you think you're one of the white hats now, do you? Don't kid yourself. You're a Vengeance Demon, plain and simple, and there's nothing honourable about vengeance. You're no better than I am.'

'Yes, well I don't go around chaining up people who thought they were friends,' Anya retorted. 'Well, there was that one time with Xander, but'

'Please,' Spike said, looking away. 'If I have to listen to any of your and Xander's lurid sexploits I really will go insane.'

'Why are you doing this?' Anya asked.

'Because I'm a monster,' Spike said, 'and this is what monsters do.'

'Your not' Anya began.

'Oh yes I am,' Spike interrupted. 'Buffy said so. Sweet, incorruptable, butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-mouth, Buffy. She wants me to be a monster, I'll give her a bleedin' monster.'

Spike paused and raised his hands to his temples. His eyes rolled back in his head and his mouth opened in a silent scream.

'Are you okay?' Anya asked.

Spike whirled round, his face morphing into vampiric features.

'Do you think this is easy for me?' he demanded. 'I can hear them all up here. All the people I ever hurt. All the people I killed. There are screaming at me, judging me, calling me a monster. Or worse. But none of it matters. Only Buffy matters.'

'I don't understand,' Anya admitted.

'Don't you get it?' Spike snarled. 'I love her. I'd do anything for her. Even kill for her.'

* * *

'Xander, you're driving,' Buffy said as she dished out weapons.

'Fine. Where to?' Xander asked.

'The old factory,' Buffy replied. 'His old home base.'

'I thought that had burned down,' I said. 'Most of it, anyway.'

'I really can't see that bothering him,' Buffy told me. 'Now sit tight. This isn't going to take very long.'

'You don't seriously expect me to wait here,' I complained.

'Yes, Dawn,' Buffy insisted. 'I seriously do.'

'But Buffy'

'Don't. I don't want to hear it. I'm worried enough about Anya, without throwing you into the mix.'

'And don't you think I'm worried about Anya, too?' I asked. 'If you leave me behind, you know I'll only follow on my own. You can't keep me out of this.'

Buffy sighed.

'All right,' she agreed. 'But you'll wait in the car. No arguments.'

'Are we quite finished with the sisterly bonding?' Trix asked. 'Anya's in trouble.'

'For once I'm with Trixabelle here,' Xander added.

Buffy slammed a bolt into her crossbow.

'Then let's roll.'

* * *

'You're crazy, do you know that?' Anya said. 'And not in the cute eccentric way, either. No, you're full on, stark raving bonkers.'

'That's love for you, pumpkin',' Spike said. 'Makes you do crazy things.'

He poured himself a glass of bourbon.

'Want one,' he asked, leering at her. 'Might improve your disposition. You were quite friendly last time we got drunk together I seem to recall.'

'That was a mistake.'

'Didn't hear you complaining at the time,' Spike said, draining his glass.

'I didn't know what I was doing,' Anya explained. 'I was hurt and in pain and I was looking for some form of comfort and you were there and'

'And I was the closest warm body you could shag?' Spike asked. 'Charming.'

'Cold body,' Anya told him. 'And I didn't hear you complaining either.'

'You've got me there, love,' Spike agreed, filling his glass again and toasting her with it.

'And what was you're excuse?' Anya asked. 'Were you trying to hurt Buffy, because it worked like a charm. For someone who claims to love her you have a very strange way of showing it.'

'The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt Buffy.'

'You've done nothing but hurt her,' Anya told him. 'Like she's ever really going to love you. She's already smitten with a vampire. Your grandsire, wasn't it? These soap opera relationships get everywhere.'

'Just shut up already, will you!' Spike shouted. He rushed out of his chair and clamped a hand over his mouth. His nails dug into her cheeks and Anya was sure she could feel him draw blood.

'Let me go,' Anya said. 'You're hurting me.'

'That's the general idea, you stupid bint,' Spike replied. 'And look, no pain from that damn chip. Guess there's a down side to being a demon after all.'

'That's right,' Anya said hurriedly, 'I'm a demon. And if you don't let me go right now I'll do something suitably demonic to you.'

'Like what?' Spike scoffed. 'You can't even teleport yourself out of here.'

Anya deflated. He was right. She had already tried.

'You can thank my friends here,' Spike said, indicating the monkeys. 'Their each have their own personal dead magic zone. Can't work any spells at all with one of these beauties around. Which means you can't go anywhere and I get plenty of time to play with my new toy.'

Slowly, Spike drew his nail down across her left cheek, opening it up so that a trickle of blood flowed down to her jawline. Spike leaned closer and lapped at the wound. His tongue felt rough against her cheek.

'Please, don't,' Anya whimpered.

'I'll let you into a little secret,' Spike said, taking a step back. 'I like hurting people. I mean, I _really_ like hurting people. It makes me feel all warm inside, you know what I mean.'

'Just get it over with,' Anya said. 'Kill me already. That's what you want, isn't it?'

'That's what I want, all right,' Spike agreed. 'But not yet. Buffy's not here to watch.'

'Buffy?'

'I'm going to kill you for her. She thinks I'm a monster so I'll show her just how much of a monster I can be. And I'm doing it all for her.'

'And you think that's going to make her love you?' Anya asked.

'Why not?' Spike said. 'I've tried everything else. I've tried to be a man and that doesn't work so I reckon, if she's spending so much time with monsters, maybe that's what it's going to take to reach her.'

Spike turned and stalked back to his table and his drink.

Anya waited for her racing heart to calm down.

'You're crazy, do you know that?' she said.

* * *

'So what's the plan?' Xander asked. His foot was pressed hard on the accelerator and the car rocketed out of town.

'I go in. I kill him,' Buffy replied.

'It has a certain simplicity,' Trix mused.

'Are you nuts?' Xander asked. ' You stay out here. Let me handle him.'

'What?'

'Have you forgotten about the chip?' Xander said. 'He can't hurt me, remember.'

'Wrong,' Buffy said. 'It hurts him, if he hurts you. Doesn't mean he can't do it. If he's gone off the deep end the way we think he has, do you really think a little pain's gonna bother him? And, given your relationship with him, of all of us here, who do you think he's most likely to want to snap in two.'

'Maybe you ought to wait in the car with Dawn,' Trix suggested.

'Hey, I've been doing this a lot longer than you have, hornhead,' Xander snapped. 'You're the one that ought to watch out.'

'Knock it off, you two,' Buffy said. 'We're going to have enough to worry about without being at each others throats.'

'Sorry,' Xander muttered.

'I want you two to concentrate on finding Anya and getting her out of there,' Buffy continued. 'Spike's mine.'

* * *

Daylight streamed through numerous holes in the factory's ceiling. Spike had settled in a darkened corner of the building, well away from these puddles of light, but the holes providing perfect entrances and exits for his simian friends.

One monkey perched on the edge of the table, wings furled behind its back. It was taking peanuts from Spike's outstretched palm.

'I got these for the witches, mainly,' he was telling Anya. 'Willow and that other one. The lovebirds. Not that I've got anything against them personally. But they're bound to turn up in Buffy's wake and we can't have them making trouble for us, can we?'

'You don't know, do you?' Anya said.

'Don't know what?'

'They're dead,' Anya explained. 'Willow and Tara are both dead.'

Spike looked up, his cold blue eyes meeting her own.

'Dead? Are you sure?' he asked. 'No, of course you're bleedin' sure. How'd it happen?'

'Tara died first,' Anya said, 'soon after you disappeared. Warren shot her.'

'Warren?' Spike repeated. 'That ponce?'

'He was gunning for Buffy,' Anya said. 'Hit her too, though she survived. But one bullet went wild and it hit Tara and'

'I'm sorry,' Spike said. 'She never did any harm to anyone, that girl. She didn't deserve that.'

'After Tara died, Willow went kind of crazy,' Anya continued. 'She got into really dark magics and went after Warren. And she killed him.'

'Good for her.'

'No, not good. Not good at all,' Anya insisted. 'The magic was evil and it corrupted her, turned her into something she wasn't. She tried to destroy the world.'

'Might have been better if she had,' Spike mused, 'but I'm going to go out on a limb and say she didn't succeed.'

'No, there was still something of her left, right up until the end,' Anya said. 'She chose to destroy herself rather than the rest of us. Love for Tara drove her to it and love for Xander held her back.'

Spike shrugged.

'What can I say. Love makes people do crazy things.'

'And what would you know about love?' Buffy asked.

* * *

Spike got up slowly, dropping his cigarette to the ground and grinding it beneath the heel of his boot.

'I know more than you might think,' he said. 'You stay around as long as me, you see a fair few things. You see love in all its varied, frightening colours. Love at first sight, the kind that drives a man to raise a pauper to the rank of princess. Timid love, the love of two people so shy they spend their lives dancing round one another, each too frightened to be the first to open their heart. Mad, passionate love, glorious in its fiery abandon. I've watched a man give up his kingdom for love, another his muse.

'Yet for all that love, I've never known anything so powerful, so wonderful as what you and I have here.'

'We don't have anything, Spike,' Buffy sneered.

'Who are you trying to kid, Buffy?' Spike asked. 'When we're together they could write songs about us.'

'Funeral chants, mainly,' Buffy remarked.

'What do you want of me?' Spike asked. 'I'll do anything for you.'

'You don't get it, do you, Spike?' Buffy said. 'I don't want you. Period.'

But Spike wasn't listening.

'I tried being human for you,' he said. 'Thought maybe you'd love me more as a man. That's what I went all the way to Africa for. You know, like in the song. _Just because I'm presumin' that I could be kind of human, if I only had a heart_.'

'You have a heart, Spike,' Buffy said. 'It's that cold, dead thing taking up space inside your chest.'

'But it wasn't a man you wanted, was it?' Spike said. 'That's never been what's turned you on. You like a little excitement, a little danger. You like a bit of monster in your life. And if being a man is something that I have trouble with, being a monster is second nature.'

He stepped forward, clamping both hands around Anya's neck and turning it so that her throat was exposed. Then the vampire swept over his face.

'No!' Anya and Xander screamed simultaneously.

'Let her go,' Buffy said, levelling her crossbow. 'I promised you, if you ever crossed the line then I would kill you.'

'But I'm doing this for you,' Spike protested.

Buffy shook her head.

'I don't know why you're doing this, but it has nothing to do with me.'

'How can you say that?'

'You think I want this?' Buffy asked. 'Do you think I want to be some vampire's lust object. You disgust me, Spike. But if you want me so much, come and get me.'

And she threw her crossbow to the floor.

* * *

I stepped out of the car as soon as I heard the violence erupt inside. Xander came running out of the factory towards me, Anya cradled in his arms, a cloud of flying monkeys in hot pursuit.

Trix was in the midst of the cloud, swinging a double-bladed axe with abandoned. Blood misted the air as he severed limbs and I shivered at the death cries of dozens of little demons.

'Is she okay?' I asked Xander as they reached the car.

'I'll live,' Anya told me. 

Xander lowered her into the passenger seat, then turned and took a loaded crossbow from where it hung on his back. He aimed and fired, catching a monkey between the eyes.

'Where's Buffy?' I asked.

'Still inside,' Xander said, reloading as fast as he could. 'With Spike.'

'And you just left her there?'

I pushed past him and sprinted in the direction of the factory. I heard Xander calling my name, but I just lowered my head and ran faster. Buffy was in danger and I was damned if I was going to sit this one out on the bench.

* * *

'You're getting slow, Slayer,' Spike said. 'You oughta watch that or some demon'll take advantage one of these days.'

He stepped out of reach of a thrusting stake, then caught Buffy's arm by the wrist and twisted it round behind her back.

Buffy struck out blindly with her left foot and caught Spike in the shin. He staggered back, releasing her and she spun round, a stake in each hand.

'We've danced this dance before, Slayer,' Spike said. 'And yet I still seem to be here.'

Buffy lunged forward, but Spike side-stepped and she only succeeded in staking his leather coat. 

'Yeah, well, this time only one of us is walking away,' Buffy promised.

Spike clasped his hands together and swung them, club-like, into the side of Buffy's head. She fell to one knee, ears ringing.

'What is this, the famed Slayer death wish?' he asked.

'Maybe,' Buffy replied. 'Maybe not.'

She sprung upwards, leading the way with a stake.

Spike leaped away, but not quite fast enough and the stake buried itself in his left side.

'Damn, that smarts,' Spike said, pulling out the shaft of wood. 'A guy might almost get the impression that you don't love me.'

'I _don't_ love you,' Buffy insisted, punctuating each word with a kick to the vampire's abdomen.

'You really know how to hurt a guy,' Spike said, dancing back out of reach.

'Hold still and you'll find out just how much.'

Buffy drew a narrow sword from a scabbard at her waist and slipped into a fencing stance.

'Give it your best shot,' Spike taunted.

Buffy feinted once. Twice.

Spike didn't even move.

Buffy lunged.

With superhuman speed, Spike struck out with his right arm and batted the sword from Buffy's hand. It clattered away into the distance.

Spike took a step forward and Buffy scuttled back.

'Do you really think I've survived this long by being an easy mark,' he snarled. 'I'm William the Bloody. I'm a legend. I've already killed two Slayers, Buffy, and they were both twice the woman you'll even be.'

He continued advancing and Buffy continued to retreat.

'I loved you, Buffy,' he said. 'The biggest baddest of the vampires falling for the Slayer. Have you any idea how lucky you were?'

'How lucky I was?' Buffy replied. But she was still back-pedalling.

'I would have given you anything,' Spike insisted. 'Everything. But that wasn't enough for you. What does it take to satisfy you, Slayer?'

'And the fact you still have to ask shows how little you really know about me,' Buffy said with a smile.

And she finally made her move, lashing out like a cobra. Her empty right hand knocked Spike's arm out of the way while her left hand plucked a stake from her jacket pocket and swung it in a lazy arc in the direction of Spike's heart.

Spike's hand grabbed her wrist like a pincer. The tip of the stake scraped across his shirt, but could proceed no further.

'It's time to end this,' he said.

He swept her legs out from under her and, as Buffy fell backwards, plucked the stake from her fingers. He sat straddling her, his leather-clad legs pinning Buffy's arms to her sides.

He leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on her lips.

'One last taste,' he said. 'For luck.'

Then he held the stake over her heart.

'Ever wondered what this feels like, Buffy?' he asked.

I wanted to scream, but my throat was dry. I wanted to run to the rescue, but my legs were like led. I wanted to turn away, but I was drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

Spike raised his arm, ready to drive the stake down.

'I' he began.

Maybe I imagined it. Maybe I just wanted to believe. But to this day, I swear that at that last second I saw Spike hesitate.

Buffy didn't.

She swung her legs up, catching and lifting Spike and hurling him up into the air and over her head. He tumbled through the air, across the factory and through the beams of light cascading down through the shattered roof. 

It seemed to happen in slow motion. First he started to smoulder, smoke drifting out from beneath his clothes. Then his hair caught fire. Then his skin. And then there was a fireball arcing through the air, trailing ash in its wake. By the time his coat fluttered to the ground, flame licking at its edges, it was empty. 

What was left of Spike was picked up by the wind and carried away.

'Buffy,' I said, running across the room as fast as my legs would carry me. 'Buff, are you okay?'

Buffy didn't say anything. She just lay on her back, staring up at the sun.


	7. Jonathan

**7. Jonathan**

Anya had chosen Halloween as the perfect day to reopen the new-look Magic Box. She had also declared the day a combined Grand Reopening and Holiday Sale, so Trix and Anya were more than a little grateful for my help as soon as I got off school. Buffy and Xander were both still at work, but had both volunteered to come over and lend a hand as soon as they could.

Anya had gratefully accepted Buffy's offer. She had told Xander he was welcome to come over if he felt he had to. The shop was open to the public after all.

I was having a hard time working out whom I felt most sorry for. I mean, Xander was trying really hard to make another go at their relationship. He wanted it so badly and Anya was just giving him the brush-off the whole time. But then, he was the one that had left her at the altar. I intend to get married someday. I had planned on marrying Brad Pitt, but he's gone and screwed up that idea. Whatever. The point is that I still have these little girl fantasies of a white wedding with all the trimmings and, like, if my future husband decided to trash the whole thing by telling me _at the very last minute_ that he didn't feel he could go through with itwell, I'd probably be far less tolerant than Anya had been. At least she was still talking to him.

Trix's return just complicated things.

Up until that point I had really thought there might be a chance that Xander and Anya might get back together. A slim chance. Like the chance I'm going to get struck by an asteroid in the next five minutes. But still a chance, right? Anya was so lonely and, well, who can really relate to an ex-demon and Xander was there, ready to be all understanding and comforting if Anya would just say the word

and then Trix turns up and all of a sudden Anya has another man in her life and she doesn't need Xander after all.

So I guess I should hate Trix. But I don't. For a demon, he's actually pretty cool. But maybe I'm biased because he's one of the few people that doesn't talk to me like I'm a kid. And if I am? I don't care.

* * *

'You ever been to India, Dawn?' he asked as he rooted around at the back of the shop for a scrying amulet for a woman whose hair was chalk white except for a single black strip running down one side.

'Nope,' I replied as I busied myself with the wrapping and bagging side of things.

'You should go,' Trix told me, ducking to avoid a plastic pumpkin handing from the ceiling. 'Gives you a completely different perspective on the world. It was just so different from anywhere else I'd ever been.'

'I wish I could have seen it,' I sighed, 'but I doubt I'm gonna be getting out of Sunnydale any time soon. I mean, what with the school work and the, uh, extracurricular stuff, my calendar's pretty full for the next few years.'

'Don't rule it out,' Trix told me, handing the customer her amulet and pointing her in the direction of Anya, who was operating the cash register. 'If someone offers you the chance to do a spot of travelling then you jump at the chance. You won't regret it. Trust me. And if by some chance you do happen to be in India in the summer, can I recommend Darjeeling?'

'Darjeeling?'

'You know, where they grow the tea,' Trix explained. 'India can get unbearably hot at times, even for someone of mypersuasion. But Darjeeling, up in the mountains, is still pleasantly cool. And it's a really, really strange experience. I had a guide taking me up there and he led me over to this rope bridge and there was nothing but mist ahead of us. And we took a few steps out onto this rickety bridge and all of a sudden I'm completely engulfed in this white stuff. I can't see where we're going or where we've been. I looked down and I couldn't even see the bridge. I wouldn't have even known it was there if I hadn't been holding on to it for dear life. And so I'm shuffling along this bridge a bit at a time and slowly, very slowly, this mist clears and I see this vast crop of green stretching out as far as I can see and walking amongst it all are these people picking off the leaves by hand. Hey, I even got to have a go at that myself.

'You know, all these warlocks and the like with their fireballs and the bat's blood and what have you, I don't think they really know what real magic is. Stepping off that bridge into that other world, that was magic.'

'So, was India you're favourite place?' I asked, tearing the sellotape with my teeth.

Trix thought about this for a moment.

'Yeah, I guess,' he mused. 'That or China. Or maybe the Great Barrier Reef.'

'Is there anywhere you haven't been?' I asked.

'Hey, I like to travel,' Trix protested. 'I don't tend to stay in one place for too long.'

'So when do you reckon you'll be moving on again?' I inquired.

'I don't know, he admitted, looking over at Anya. 'I've never had a reason to stay before.'

Buffy and Xander arrived soon after. Buffy went to help Anya at the till while Xander was banished to deal with book purchases at the far end of the shop.

By this stage, things in the shop were starting to wind down. There was the early evening rush as people stopped in on their way home from work - often with kids in toe, resplendent in their Halloween costumes (maybe I'm a little wacko, but I always think the home-made ones look better than those bought in a store) - but once we had survived through that particular brand of craziness, things were very nearly dead in there and we were free to do a bit of tidying up. And the place sure needed it.

Xander, the tallest, started taking down the hanging pumpkins, while I set about gathering up the decorations taped to the counter and the shelves and the table, and boxing them all up ready for next year.

Buffy yawned.

'We keeping you up?' I asked jokingly.

'Hey, you try going out slaying every night,' she retorted.

'Promise?' I asked.

Buffy scowled.

'Kidding,' I told her.

'Well, at least I can get a decent night's sleep,' Buffy commented. 'The one night of the year I don't have to feel guilty about taking some time off.'

'Assuming little sis doesn't decide to go dating the undead again,' Xander remarked.

'Or we don't get a visit from an Irish fear demon,' Anya added.

'Or become possessed by our Halloween costumes,' I said. 'Not that being a dragon wasn't fun an' all, while it lasted'

'Enough already,' Buffy laughed, waving her arms defensively. 'I'm taking the night off and there's nothing you lot can do about it.'

Trix leaned across and whispered in my ear.

'Is there some kind of guidebook you can lend me,' he asked, 'because I'm getting really, really lost here?'

Then the bell over the door chimed.

As one, we all turned to look at the intruder.

'Um, Hi,' Jonathan Levinson said.

* * *

We hadn't seen Jonathan since Willow had tried to kill him several months earlier. His friend had split town, but Jonathan had tried turning himself over to the cops. Guess he must have had a sudden attack of conscience. Too little too late, if you ask me. Directly or otherwise, that guy had been responsible for the deaths of two of my friends, people I thought of as family. I wasn't planning on forgiving himever.

As I said, Jonathan had tried to hand himself over to the police. They refused to charge him, except maybe for wasting police time. There just wasn't any evidence to tie him to his crimes and when he started going on about magic and demons, well that only served to convince them he was nuts. The death of Warren's girlfriend had already been declared an accident and as for the attempted robbery at the amusement parklike, sure a midget could up-end a heavily laden security van. He hadn't been the one to shoot Tara and Willow had been trying to kill him, not the other way round.

So much as I might want to see him behind bars - as much as he might want to be locked up himself - Jonathan Levinson was still free.

Free to give me an emotional punch in the gut the moment he walked into the room.

'We're closed,' Anya said. 'Perhaps you would care to come back and spend your money tomorrow.'

'Anya!' Xander complained. 'How can you even bear to be around this low-life.'

'He's a paying customer,' Anya replied. 'I don't have to like my customers to value their money.'

Trix smiled wryly.

'You haven't changed.'

'I-I'm not here to buy anything,' Jonathan stammered.

'Then why are you here, Jonathan?' Buffy asked. She folded her arms across her chest. I crossed the room to stand beside her and did the same.

'I, well, I, um, I just wanted to let you guys know, that, well, I'm really sorry about what happened, y'know,' Jonathan said. 'I didn't want it to end like that. Really.'

'Well that's real big of you, short-stuff,' Xander taunted.

'And I just wanted to say t-that I feel really bad about it and if there's anything that I can, y'know, do to help'

'Yes, you can leave,' Buffy told him.

'But,' Jonathan whined.

'She said you can leave,' I snapped at him. 'Or have you forgotten you and your buddies tried to kill us.'

'B-but I'm getting to be a really powerful warlock,' Jonathan said. 'I thought that maybe you might appreciate a bit of, well, magical help.'

'We don't need your help,' I told him.

'Are, are you sure?' Jonathan asked. 'I mean, now that Willow's gone and'

'Don't,' Buffy said. 'Don't you dare mention her name ever again.'

'Sorry,' Jonathan said, squirming. 'I just'

'The lady's already asked you to leave once,' Trix drawled. He tipped back his baseball cap revealing his horns. 'Don't make me come over there and carry you out.'

Jonathan paled at this, but, to give him credit, he stood his ground.

'But'

'Go!' Xander shouted.

Jonathan back-pedalled through the door as fast as his legs would carry him.

* * *

'Manjit, will you stop stepping on Neil's tail!' Mr Gleeson snapped. 'This is getting tiresome.'

I was up on the stage with my three co-stars. We were supposed to be rehearsing _that_ song - you know the one - but we couldn't seem to get through the few lines of dialogue leading up to it. Or, more accurately, Neil didn't even get to deliver his line because every time he stepped forward, he was jerked back by someone standing on his tail.

'Sorry, Mr Gleeson,' Manjit said. 'It was an accident.'

'Accident my foot,' Mr Gleeson roared. He was usually a really nice guy, for a teacher, but I'd learnt during the first week of rehearsals that he could work up quite a temper if you crossed him. Fortunately, he seemed to like me. 

'The first time might have been an accident,' Mr Gleeson continued. 'When we get up to six I become convinced you're doing it deliberately. If it happens again we'll be looking for another Tin-Man.'

'Stupid play anyway,' Manjit muttered.

'What was that?' Gleeson snapped.

'Nothing, dude,' Manjit replied.

'Mr Singh, I will ask you again to repeat what you said,' Gleeson said. 'I'm not going to ask you a third time.'

'I said it's a stupid play. Sir,' Manjit said.

'A stupid play,' Gleeson repeated. 'In that case, why are you here?'

'My Mom's a fan,' Manjit confessed. 'She really wants to see me perform in it.'

'Well, that's a shame,' Gleeson remarked, 'because as of now you are out, mister. The rest of these people actually want to be here and I won't have you ruining things for them. On the plus side, I'm not going to throw you in detention for your behaviour tonight. I've a feeling having to explain this to your mother will be punishment enough.'

'Now what?' Neil whispered to me. 'The Tin Man's like one of the major parts.'

'Well, duh,' I whispered back.

Mr Gleeson turned to face the audience.

'Mr Kowalski,' he said to Drew, 'how's the ankle?'

'Good as new, sir,' Drew replied. He was sitting right in the middle of the empty auditorium. He claimed that the sound was best there. Me, I couldn't tell the difference, but I wasn't about to argue with him.

'Good, good,' Mr Gleeson murmured. 'A little bird tells me that you're a big fan of this production.'

'Straight up,' Drew replied.

'The same bird also tells me that you were going to audition for the role of the Tin Man before your accident.'

'Yep.'

'Well, here's the deal then,' Gleeson continued. 'I'm giving you the weekend to prepare. You audition for me on Monday and if I like what I see then the part's yours.'

'Really.'

'Absolutely,' Gleeson confirmed. 'I've heard good things about you, Kowalski. Try not to disappoint me. The rest of you, let's call it a night. Great work, people, but Neil, you really need to learn those lines. You're not going to be able to hold your script on the night.'

'Hey, Drew,' I called out, skipping down the steps at the side of the stage, 'congratulations!'

'Thanks, but I haven't got the part yet,' Drew cautioned.

'Well, yeah, but still wow-ness, right?' I said.

'Definite wow-ness,' Drew agreed. 'Listen, you want to go down the Bronze to celebrate.'

'I can't, Drew,' I said, 'not tonight. I've gotstuff.'

'Stuff.' Drew frowned and I shifted my weight from foot to foot guiltily. 'You know, you always seem to have something else going on these days.'

'What can I say?' I shrugged. 'I'm a busy girl.'

'Maybe,' Drew replied, 'but it gets me that you don't trust me enough to talk to me about it.'

'It's not that I don't trust you, Drew,' I began.

'Then what is it?' he cut in. 'There's something strange going on with you, Dawn. Don't think I haven't noticed. You may have everyone else fooled, but I've got a reporter's nose.'

'Well, maybe you should give it back,' I joked.

Lame. This is what I'd been afraid of. Drew had spotted a story and now that he'd caught on to it he wasn't about to let go. What he didn't know was that with this story that type of attitude could get him killed.

'Look, Dawn, there's always been weird stuff in this town,' Drew continued. 'You'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to notice. Just because most folks round here like to bury their heads in the sand doesn't mean it isn't there.'

'I totally have no clue what you're talking about,' I lied.

'Sure you do,' Drew replied, 'because you're at the heart of it. You and your friend with thewhat was it? Skin condition.'

Okay, deception wasn't working. Time to try the direct approach.

'Drew, just drop it okay,' I said. 'Please.'

'You know I can't do that, Dawn,' he said. 'I've never let go of a story before and I'm not about to do so now. So either you tell me what's going on or I'll just have to figure it out the hard way.'

'Drew, you've already been hurt chasing after this stuff,' I pointed out. 'Haven't you even stopped to think that this might be dangerous?'

'I laugh in the face of danger.'

'What, from your hospital bed?'

So much for the direct approach.

'Hey, Drew, I thought we were going out tonight,' Chrissie called from the doorway. She was, as usual, wearing a daring black-on-black ensemble. 'You know I don't like to be kept waiting.'

'You and Chrissie?' I said, my mouth hanging open. 'Go Drew.'

He couldn't meet my eyes.

'Yeah, well, even I've got to admit she's kind of cute, once you get past the, well, you know'

'The freakiness?' I supplied. 'Hey, I thought you laughed in the face of danger.'

'Speaking of which,' Drew said, 'I wouldn't have to risk my neck if you'd just tell me what was going on.'

'Sorry,' I said, shouldering my bag, 'gotta run.'

When all else fails, bail.

* * *

I was at the Sun Cinema when it happened. I'd promised I would spend the evening with Clem. I had been neglecting him a bit lately and he was starting to feel a bit lonely, especially since we'd dusted his best friend. Not that he blamed us for it. He had always known that it was just a matter of time with Spike, but he still missed his favourite cards partner.

Anyway, Clem wanted to see the latest Disney movie and I'd promised to go with him. I had invited Buffy to go with us, but she wanted to catch up on some of that sleep she had been missing out on recently. Fair enough. As Clem said, all the more popcorn for us. Besides, we'd have only argued over it. Clem and I preferred the salted stuff whereas Buffy had a sweet tooth. Do Slayers get tooth decay? Or is that covered as pert of the whole Slayer package? Strength, speed and a free dental plan.

The point is, that while Clem and I were munching and giggling, Buffy was alone in the house.

Or, at least, she was supposed to be.

A shadow crept over the bed where Buffy slept and she shivered.

The other woman in the room reached out a cold hand and stroked Buffy's cheek.

Buffy sprung to wakefulness, lashing out with her foot and sending the intruder flying across the room while at the same time grabbing her stake from beneath the pillow and rolling off of the bed.

She glanced over the edge of the bed and got a good look at her attacker, silhouetted by the moonlight.

'Hello, my pretty,' Drusilla said.

* * *

At this point in time, Jonathan was making his way up the drive. If you ask me, it was a little late to be paying house calls, but he wanted to speak to Buffy alone, to have another go at convincing her that he was genuine in his offer to help. If it had been me I'd have told him he could be as genuine and regretful as he liked, it still didn't mean I trusted him further than I could throw him. But then maybe that's why he wanted to speak to Buffy and not me.

He reached out a hand to knock on the door and it swung open as soon as his fingers brushed across it. The lock had been shattered.

Maybe I've been a bit hard on Jonathan because at that moment he had the perfect opportunity to turn and run. Instead, with no small amount of trepidation, he stepped inside.

* * *

'Say hello to Miss Edith, pretty one,' Drusilla purred, holding her doll aloft. 'No? Cat got your tongue? Maybe it's clawed out your eyes and buried them in the earth, somewhere deep. Miss Edith, say hello to the girl who killed our darling Spike. She's a Slayer, Miss Edith. Yes, and we've tasted Slayer before, haven't we, me and my Spike. He killed two, he did, and there should be a balance in all things, I think.'

Drusilla glided across the room, her head cocked to one side.

Buffy tried to maintain her grip on her stake, but her palm was sweating and the wood kept slipping between her fingers.

'Do you hear that?' Drusilla asked in her singsong, child's voice. 'The stars, they're singing to me. They've got beautiful voices. And they're so old, the stars, so very old. There's nothing they don't know, nothing at all. The stars are singing about you, my pretty one. Isn't that nice of them? They're telling me that you are a venom-filled child, but then we knew that already, didn't we, Miss Edith? You killed my Spike just because he was sick. That's not the way nice people behave. No, that's not nice at all. You've been a very bad girl, haven't you, and you deserve to be punished. But don't you fret, I'll make it quick on account of how you were so nice to my Spike. Before.'

Drusilla vaulted on to the bed, her brow extruding and fangs growing within her mouth as she showed her vampire face.

'Oh boy,' Jonathan said as he stepped into the room.

'Oh, lookee here, Miss Edith,' Drusilla said, turning her yellow eyes on the new arrival. 'A new toy to play with. What games shall we play together, hm?'

'Er, hide and seek?' Jonathan suggested. He backed up and collided with the dresser. 'You could, um, close your eyes and count to one hundred.'

'Oh, we like this one, Miss Edith,' Drusilla purred. 'We shall enjoy him.'

'That doesn't sound good,' Jonathan said. 

He reached behind him and grabbed the first thing that came to hand.

'I call upon Bast to protect me and repel you from this place,' he declared, holding out the object in front of him.

Then he looked at what he was holding

Mr Gordo.

'A stuffed pig!' he shouted, throwing it to the floor. 'Why can't you be into kittens like a normal girl.'

He scanned the room, frantically looking for something he could use in a spell.

'Is the little man afraid?' Drusilla asked. 'We like fear. It tastes so sweet. But you don't taste of fear. You reek of death. So much death. So much blood on your hands. It's beautiful, it is.'

'I didn't kill anybody,' Jonathan protested, shuffling towards the bookcase. 'That wasn't me.'

'Oh no,' Drusilla agreed, 'you haven't killed anybody. But you will. The stars are telling me in their song.'

'Oh g-great,' Jonathan stammered, his hands closing round an ornament on the shelf. 'Singing stars. Must be true.'

He picked up the small cat figurine and held it in Drusilla's direction.

'I call upon Bast, goddess of protection, to come to my aid,' he chanted. 'May you both protect me and repel my enemies.'

Drusilla snarled and spat.

'Little man is not playing nice,' she complained. 'We don't think we like you any more.'

'W-well, the feeling's mutual,' Jonathan replied, taking a step forward.

Drusilla sprang back, out of the reach of the cat.

'That's it,' Jonathan told her, 'keep your distance if you know what's good for you.'

Drusilla sprang forward, her nails raking along Jonathan's cheek, drawing blood.

Jonathan fell backwards, tripping over the corner of the bed and ending up on the floor. But he kept hold of the cat figurine, which was now glowing. The shadow of a cat crept up the far wall.

'Kitty wants to play,' Drusilla mused. 'Not tonight.'

Then she turned and threw herself through the window, glass shattering around her.

Not trusting his legs enough to try standing, Jonathan crawled over to where Buffy was huddled.

'It's okay,' he said. 'She's gone, I think.'

He put a hand on Buffy's arm.

She was shaking.


	8. Kendra

**8. Kendra**

'What's he doing here?'

It was the first thing I said when I got home. Clem had walked me back from the cinema and he was hovering at my shoulder.

Buffy was sitting at the kitchen table. She was wearing a robe and was nursing a steaming mug of something in her hands. She looked scarily pale. It was the sort of look where you might say they'd seen a ghost, but my sister had seen ghosts before and they had never freaked her out like this.

What freaked me out, though, was the person sitting opposite her. It was Jonathan.

'Drusilla was here,' Buffy said.

'What, as in _here _here?' I asked. 'But'

'I know,' Buffy replied.

'Drusilla. That's Spike's ex, right?' Clem put in.

Buffy, Jonathan and I all turned to look at him.

'He used to talk about her,' Clem explained. 'A lot. Would go on and on for hours about how great they were together and all the wonderful things they'd done and how devastated he was when she left him. Man, could he talk.'

Clem noticed our frowns.

'Course he didn't talk about her anything like as much as he went on about you,' Clem told Buffy hastily. 'I mean, he things he used to say'

'Now's not the time, Clem,' I interrupted.

'I'm thinking never might be the time,' Buffy remarked. 'Dawn, phone the others. We need to figure out what we're going to do.'

'What about him?' I asked, pointing at Jonathan.

'Hey, I'm sitting right here,' Jonathan complained.

'That's the problem,' I snapped at him.

'Knock it off, you two,' Buffy said. 'I don't need this. Not tonight. Jonathan, I think you should go now.'

'But I could be a big help,' Jonathan protested.

'Probably,' Buffy conceded, 'but I still can't trust you.'

'Even after I saved you life.'

'Even after.'

Jonathan stood up.

'What about him?' he asked, pointing at Clem.

'Clem stays,' I said.

Buffy nodded. 'All right, Clem can stay.'

'And what makes him so special?' Jonathan demanded.

'He hasn't tried to kill me,' Buffy replied.

It's not easy to stalk out of a room when you're built like Jonathan, but he did his best.

Buffy picked up Jonathan's half-empty mug, walked over to the sink and poured away its contents.

'Could you give us a minute?' I asked Clem.

'Sure,' he replied.

He wandered off into the lounge and I could hear him turn the TV on, low so it wouldn't disturb us, but loud enough so that he couldn't hear what we were saying.

'Buffy, what happened?' I asked. My shoes made clack-clack noises as I crossed the tiled floor. 'It's not like you to need help beating up a vampire.'

'Drusilla's not just any vampire.' Buffy turned the water on and started to rinse out the mug.

'I know that,' I replied. 'I've met her, remember.'

'I remember,' Buffy said softly. She was still holding the mug beneath the stream of water.

'But still, you can beat her, right? So what do you need geek-boy's help for?'

'Jonathan fought her off,' Buffy said. 'I couldn't'

Water was spraying off the side of the mug.

I stepped closer and put a hand on Buffy's shoulder. She flinched and dropped the mug.

'Sorry,' I apologised, taking a step back.

'My fault,' Buffy said, retrieving the mug. There was a chip on the rim, but nothing we couldn't live with.

'Buffy, what's wrong?' I persisted.

Buffy paused. Then she turned off the water and put the mug on the side.

'I froze,' she admitted. 'Drusilla was in the room and I froze.'

'Was it a spell?' I asked. 'Did she do something to you?'

'No spell,' Buffy told me, 'just me. When I looked at Drusilla, I saw Kendra.'

So I was wrong after all. Buffy had seen a ghost.

* * *

I remember thinking that Kendra had skin the colour of milk chocolate. She had these short tops of the kind Mom would never let me wear (okay, so I was only eleven) and these huge hoop earrings.

And she talked funny.

If it had been up to Buffy then I would never have met Kendra. Buffy tried hard to keep me away from her double life. It rarely worked, but I have to give her credit for trying. But when Angel lost his soul, things changed. Angelus saw me as a way to get to Buffy and that made me a target. From then on there was always a Scooby Gang member nearby to act as bodyguard. Everyone took their turn. Well, except for Cordelia who, I think, had even less time for me than I had for her.

And then came that night, the one nobody really talks about. There was a crisis and Kendra's Watcher had sent her to Sunnydale to help out. Her and Mr Pointy. That's all we've got left of her now, a sharpened piece of wood. 

I was in the library. Buffy had left me there with my homework, not that I was spending much time on that. I much preferred to look at all the cool books on the library shelves. Giles didn't mind so much. Guess he liked the idea of a kid that was into reading and I guess he made sure that any books he did not want me looking at were in the top shelf, out of my reach.

The idea was for me to keep out of the way. Buffy had gone out. She didn't tell me where, but it didn't take a genius to figure she was going to confront Angelus. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang was working the weird mojo down by the desk. Willow was sitting cross-legged on the table and I could hear her chanting. I could also smell the yucky incense Cordelia was wafting everywhere.

I was hidden amongst the stacks, lying on my stomach with a book open on the floor in front of me. Then I heard the commotion. I was a curious kid - still am - so I crawled forward and poked my head round the edge of the shelves to see what was going on. 

The windows caved inwards and the sharp shards of glass were followed by even more dangerous vampires. I scuttled away, still on all fours. I could see Xander rushing forward to confront a vampire. Then I heard the snap of bone as the vampire grabbed hold of his arm. There was a smashing sound as somebody - Giles I think - cracked something over a vampire's head. Then the bookcase fell. I had enough warning to turn so that it didn't crush me, but it still pinned me to the floor. I don't think anyone realised I was still under there, luckily for me.

Unfortunately, I couldn't move, though I did have a great view of the floorshow.

Kendra was doing what she had trained all her life for and it showed. Three, no four vamps converged on her and she didn't even blink. Unlike Buffy who fought with a grace like a dancer, Kendra was more of a street fighter, but her punches and kicks were just as effective. Despite the odds, she was holding her own, maybe even forcing them back.

Then the tide turned. I could feel it even before she entered the room, like a spider crawling up my spine, a spider whose feet were icy cold.

Drusilla didn't walk into the room, she glided, her black and red dress flowing around her like blood. Kendra stood in her way, fist raised, poised and ready.

'Enough,' Drusilla said.

The Slayer sprang like a jungle cat and she and Drusilla went at it, exchanging blows too fast for me to follow. And then it was over.

She just looked at her. That's all. Drusilla's eyes met Kendra's own and all the strength seemed to leech out of the Vampire Slayer's body.

Kendra lowered her arms.

Drusilla started to sway like a cobra and Kendra swayed in time, her body no longer under her own control.

Quick as a flash, Drusilla's hand slashed forward. Her fingernails sliced across Kendra's throat and even from that distance I could see blood fall to the floor, hear the quiet splash each drop made as it hit the ground.

Time seemed to stop. I wasn't even breathing. Then slowly, ever so slowly, Kendra's legs gave way beneath her and her body tumbled to the floor.

'Night night,' Drusilla purred, blowing a kiss at her fallen opponent.

I wanted to scream, to cry, to do something, but I was frozen with terror and maybe that's the only reason I'm still alive today.

* * *

'So how come none of us realised Drusilla was going to come back?' Xander asked. 'Man, are we dumb.'

'So Spike's ex-girlfriend is in town to get revenge,' Trix said. He was sitting on the sofa next to Anya. 'They must have had a major thing going on. If it had been me, most of my ex's would give you a medal.'

'You have ex's?' Anya asked.

'Well, yeah,' Trix admitted, shifting uncomfortably. 'I've been around awhile, met a lot of people, formed a relationship or two.'

'Just two?' Anya said, frowning.

'Well, maybe more that two,' Trix said, 'but none of them meant anything.'

'So you make a habit of forming meaningless relationships,' Anya deduced. 'Then I bet you run off and leave the poor girls heartbroken and distraught. Did you ever leave someone at the altar?'

'No,' Trix insisted. 'They never went that far.'

'Well that's something, at least,' Anya said with a meaningful glance at Xander.

'Hell, I'm not saying this well,' Trix complained. 'It's not that they didn't mean anything. It's just that I didn't feel for them the way I feel for you.'

'And how do I know you're not just saying that?' Anya demanded.

Buffy cleared her throat.

'I think we're getting off topic here,' she said. She was standing by the window. The curtains were drawn, but Buffy kept twitching them so that she could keep an eye on the street outside.

'I know Spike still had feelings for Drusilla,' Clem offered, 'but I never knew she felt the same way. She left him, remember.'

'They were an item for a hundred years, give or take,' Xander commented. 'A relationship like that doesn't just end overnight. What do you think, Ann?'

'Oh, because I'm the expert on relationship break-up, aren't I?' she shot back. 'From first hand experience, no less.'

'I didn't mean it like that,' Xander protested, but Anya waved him away.

'I've seen a lot of couples split in my time,' Anya said, 'and most of it's ugly. But the thing I find is that one day they're asking you to call down the plague or inflict boils on his penis and the next day they're all 'woe is me, what have I done'. You can't just turn off feelings like you would a TV set, or just change channels and move on. In my experience, and I've got an awful lot in this area, just because a relationship's over doesn't mean the couple don't still have feelings for one another.'

'What I want to know is how Drusilla got into your room in the first place?' I said. 'You didn't invite her in, did you?'

'No, I didn't,' Buffy replied with forced patience.

'I was only asking,' I muttered. 'Vampires have to be invited in, but if you didn't do it - and I know I didn't do it - then how did she do it?'

'Well, there aren't a lot of demons that'll talk to us floppy-eared types,' Clem interjected, hand raised as if he needed permission to speak, 'we're something of a joke, see, but I still hear things. And when folks talk about Drusilla, not that they talk about her often, but when they do, well they say she's more than just a vampire.'

'So she's like an uber-vampire?' Xander said. 'Well that's okay then. The last one of those we faced was Dracula and we kicked his ass.'

'But Mom still had to invite Dracula in, remember?' I pointed out.

Anya's forehead creased in concentration. Trix put a hand under her chin and lifted her head to face him. 

'What is it, honey?' he asked.

'Well, didn't Spike say the Dracula had extra powers because of his gypsy tricks?' she said.

'Yeah, so what?' Xander said waspishly. 'I can't believe we're invoking the ghost of Spike now.'

'Drusilla has gypsy magic, too,' Buffy said, following Anya's line of reasoning.

'So you're saying that Drusilla used her gypsy powers to bypass that must be invited in rule?' Trix asked.

'But that's something Dracula couldn't do?' I pointed out.

'Maybe he just didn't know how,' Clem suggested. 'I mean, if we're talking spells here, maybe that was one he didn't know. Or wasn't powerful enough to cast.'

'But Drusilla's never been this powerful before,' Xander said. 'Why now?'

There was a long silence as we all tried to figure out the answer. I yawned. My body was starting to remind me that I hadn't had any sleep yet. My tired eyes weren't focussing properly and for a moment the room was a blur. I blinked a couple of times and the world sharpened up.

Then it hit me.

'Drusilla's crazy, right?' I said, practically bouncing on the spot with enthusiasm.

'So what?' Xander asked. He was snapping at everybody tonight.

Buffy shushed him.

'Go on, Dawn,' she said.

'Well, magic requires a lot of focus, doesn't it,' I explained. 'You have to concentrate to do spells and stuff. But Drusilla's mind has always been all over the place, hasn't it? She has a real problem focussing on one thing for any length of time.'

'But you're saying that she's found a way to focus,' Buffy said.

'We killed her boyfriend,' Anya pointed out. 'If that doesn't focus a mind I don't know what will.'

'So let me get this straight,' Buffy began. 'By killing Spike we have not only brought down the wrath of his ex, but we've helped her access powers most vamps only dream of.'

Trix raised his hand.

'When's the next flight out of here?' he asked.

* * *

As I walked down the corridor to the cafeteria, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I spun round, my own hand reaching for the stake in my jacket pocket. If the normal vampire rules didn't apply to Drusilla then I couldn't be too careful.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that it was only Chrissie.

'Sorry already,' she said. 'It's not like I meant to scare you or nothing.'

An apology? From Chrissie? This was interesting.

'Dawn, could we like, y'know, talk?' she asked. 'Somewhere away from people who should know to mind their own damn business.'

'Sure,' I said, puzzled. 'How about the library? It's not like anyone ever goes in there.'

Chrissie nodded and practically dragged me over to the other side of the school building.

'Dawn, you don'tI mean, you're not scared of me or anything, are you?' Chrissie asked almost before the library doors had swung closed.

A dozen sarcastic replies whirled through my head, but Chrissie was chewing on her lower lip and I could tell that she was serious. She deserved a little honesty.

'No,' I admitted. Compared to Drusilla or Glory, Chrissie was a fluffy bunny.

'Really? Not even a little bit?' I could feel the relief coming off Chrissie in waves.

'Really,' I said, frowning. 'I think you're a bitch - and I mean that in a good way, honestly - but you don't scare me. What's this about?'

Chrissie sighed. She started playing with her long black hair.

'It's a vibe I've been getting. I starting to thing that maybe people think I'm, like, scary, I guess,' she confessed.

'Scary, huh?' 

I wandered deeper into the library, hiding my face from Chrissie. Of course people thought she was scary. Okay, in my circles she might not be up to much, but amongst normal people, yep, she was terrifying. She said what she thought and refused to be intimidated. She couldn't care less what the rest of the world thought about her. Or so I had thought.

'Why don't you just come out and say it, Dawn?' Chrissie demanded. 'You know you want to, so what's the point of prissing about? You think I'm being stupid.'

'No, that's not it,' I told her. 'I thought you didn't care.'

'I didn't,' Chrissie said. 'I don't. The rest of the world can either get over it or just go hang. It's just' 

Chrissie sat down on the edge of a reading table, the words left hanging in the air. She swung her feet in the air and she looked a lot younger than I ever recalled seeing her.

'Chrissie, there's obviously something you want to tell me,' I said, 'so what is it?'

'This was a bad idea,' Chrissie said, jumping off of the table. 'I am so out of here.'

'Chrissie?'

I don't want to talk about it, okay,' Chrissie snapped. She turned away from me, but she didn't move towards the door.

'You wouldn't be hear if there wasn't something you wanted to say,' I pointed out, 'so spill already.'

Chrissie wrapped her arms around herself.

'I must need my head examined, 'she muttered. 'It's Drew, all right.'

'Drew?'

'I'm dating Drew,' Chrissie confirmed. 'God, I can't believe I just said that. Drew of all people. I mean, there must be something totally wrong with me, right?'

'Because you're dating Drew?'

'Because Drew's the only guy remotely interested in me,' Chrissie continued. 'It's not like there's a line of guys waiting to asking me out running round the block. It's a line of one. One! Can you believe that?'

'I'm sure that's not true,' I replied. 'It's just that they feel a little'

'Terrified.'

'I was going to say intimidated,' I responded with a smile, 'but whatever works.'

'So'

'So?'

'So what do you think I should do about it?' Chrissie asked.

'You're asking me?'

'No, I'm asking the bust of whatshisface over there!' Chrissie snapped. 'What do you think, Dawn? It's not like there are a whole lot of other people I can talk to. They're all'

'Scared. I know.'

'And I thought you might understand,' Chrissie continued. 'You being a freak too.'

'Well, thanks very much, I don't think.'

The library door swung open and a black girl - Helena - crept in, hunched over the books cradled in her arms.

'What the hell do you want?' Chrissie shouted at her. 'Can't you see were talking here?'

'I'm sorry,' Helena said, scurrying away. 'I'll come back later.'

Chrissie turned back to me.

'You know what I mean, 'she said. 'You're different. You're as much an outsider as I am. More so. But you're okay with it.'

'I wouldn't say that,' I replied. 'I don't like being an outsider any more than you do. But I'm who I am through choice and I gotta live with that.'

'And do you, y'know, think you made the right choice?' Chrissie asked.

'I'm not about to change, if that's what you mean,' I replied. 'So what about you? Are you happy with your choice?'

'Dating Drew or being scary? Or both?'

'What's wrong with Drew?' I asked.

'Oh, I don't know,' Chrissie replied. 'I mean, he's smart and he makes me laughsometimes. And I suppose he's kinda cute.'

'Cute, huh?'

'Don't try and pretend you haven't noticed,' Chrissie shot back.

'Hey, Drew and I are just good friends,' I insisted. 'He's all yoursif you want him.'

'I do,' Chrissie told me. 'Oh God, it's true isn't it, I really do want him. You don't think I'm coming down with something, do you?'

I laughed and even Chrissie was smiling now.

'Chrissie's in love,' I taunted her in a singsong voice. 'Chrissie's in love.'

'Come here, you,' Chrissie said as I darted round the corner out of reach. 'When I get my hands on you'

'You started it.'

'Yeah, I guess I did,' Chrissie admitted, flopping down into a chair. 'I just wish Drew wasn't such a freak. He's as bad as the rest of us.'

'And we have a problem with that because?' I asked.

'Damned if I know,' Chrissie confessed. 'Come on, let's go and see what they serving in the cafeteria. You never know, it just might be edible.'

'And Drew might be there,' I offered innocently.

'One of these days, Summers, I really am going to kill you.'

'Promises, promises.'

Chrissie paused. He hand rested on the door, but she didn't open it.

'Dawn, thanks,' she said. 'You're a good friend'

'Yeah, well'

'But if you breathe a word of this to anyone I will break both your legs.'

'I thought we're established you didn't scare me,' I pointed out.

'Hey, a girl can live in hope, can't she,' Chrissie replied, shoving the doors wide open.

* * *

Buffy was pulling the front door closed as I turned into the drive. She was wearing a long coat and had a holdall slung over one shoulder.

'Hey Buffy, what's up?' I asked.

'Dawn, um, Hi,' Buffy offered. 'You're back early.'

'No I'm not,' I said.

'No? Guess I must have lost track of time,' Buffy said.

There was something off about Buffy's behaviour. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I had a sense about this and, being her sister and all, I thought there was a good chance I might be right.

'Buffy, what's wrong?'

'Wrong, nothing's wrong?' Buffy lied. Trying to be cheery might have worked at any other time, but with Drusilla on the loose it just reeked of cover-up.

'Buffy?'

'Look, Dawn, I really have to go,' Buffy said. 'I left you a note. It's in the kitchen.'

'You're not coming back, are you?' I said.

Buffy looked away.

The wind picked up and plucked a few leaves from the tree in the garden.

'No,' Buffy confessed. 'No, I'm not. At least for a while.' She turned around and put her hands on my shoulders. 'Dawn, you have to promise you'll be strong for me. You'll have to be strong for everyone now.'

'But'

'I've left some letters explaining everything,' she continued. 'There's one for Xander and one for Giles. And one for Angel. Could you make sure they get them.'

'Buffy, I don't understand,' I said. 'Why have you got to go?'

'Drusilla's after me,' she replied. 'If I leave then she'll follow and the rest of you will be safe.'

'Butbut why can't you stay here?' I begged. 'We can fight this together, like always.'

'I don't want to see anyone else get hurt,' Buffy told me. 'This isn't like before.'

'But why not?' I replied. Maybe I was starting to whine at this point, but by now I didn't really care.

'She killed Kendra,' Buffy said simply. 'I ran back to the library. I ran until it hurt and then I ran some more. But I was too late. She was just lying there, like a broken doll and I picked her up and I cradled her in my arms and I thought that could have been me. Kendra was just like me, the only girl like me I'd ever met, but she didn't stand a chance against Drusilla.

'Don't you see, Dawn. I don't think I can fight her and I don't want you to die because I wasn't good enough.'

'Oh Buffy' I began. There were tears in my eyes.

Buffy put her fingertips on my lips.

'Shush,' she said.

Then she wrapped me up in an embrace.

'Promise me you'll be strong,' she whispered, 'and remember that wherever I am I still love you.'

We held on to each other for a long time, prolonging the moment, but eventually Buffy broke the embrace,

'Goodbye, Dawn,' she said.

Then she walked away.


	9. Helena

**9. Helena**

The first thing I did was to try to phone Xander. He wasn't answering. I couldn't remember Anya's number and I started to panic. Then I saw the scrap of paper pinned to the notice board by the stairs. I tore down the paper and punched the number on it into the phone. It must have rung for a good three minutes before I finally gave up.

I dialled Xander again and this time somebody picked up.

'What?' he said.

'Xander?' I asked. His voice sounded thicker and less distinct than usual.

'Of course it's me,' he replied. 'What's up, Dawn?'

'It's Buffy,' I told him. 'She's gone.'

* * *

Xander drove straight over. The smell of him clued me in that he'd been drinking. I told him that I'd tried phoning Anya. He explained that she and Trix had gone out. Guess that explained the drinking, huh?

'What are we going to do?' I asked. I was rushing around in circles, going nowhere, but somehow needing to be in constant motion.

'I'll go after her,' Xander said.

'Great.' I stopped pacing. 'I'll go with you.'

'No,' Xander said, 'you won't.'

'But I've gotta go,' I insisted. 'She's my sister.'

I was pacing again.

'Dawn, I know that this is hard,' Xander began, 'but for Buffy's sake you've got to try and pretend that nothing's happening.' 

'I've what?'

'Just think for a moment, Dawn, okay? Imagine what'll happen if Social Services get a hint that your legal guardian's gone AWOL. Do you really think she's going to want to come back if you've been taken into care?'

I collapsed into a chair, arms and legs akimbo.

'Sure, when you put it _that_ way,' I muttered. 'Guess I'll just carry on being little old Dawn.'

'Atta girl,' Xander replied, smiling encouragingly. I was this close to bopping him on the nose, but I didn't have the fight left in me.

'Where'll you start looking?' I asked.

'I'm thinking the airport or the bus station would be a good place to start,' Xander said. 'Did she take much in the way of cash?'

I shook my head.

'I'm guessing she wanted to be sure I had enough to get by without her.'

'Bus station's the best bet then,' Xander decided. 'Unless she's decided to hitch.'

He grinned.

'What's so funny?' I asked, angry that he could find something to laugh at.

'Sorry. Just imagining Buffy giving some wandering hands truck driver what for.'

Now I laughed with him.

'In the good old days we could have used magic to track her down,' I remarked.

'I know,' Xander said, 'but we'll just have to make do.'

Our eyes met and we both knew what the other was thinking, that we knew someone with the power to help, someone neither of us was going to even mention.

'You should get Clem to come over and stay with you for a while,' Xander suggested.

'What, you don't think I can cope on my own?' I demanded.

'I'm sure you'll cope just fine,' Xander assured me, 'but if it was me, I wouldn't want to be in this house by myself.'

I shrugged. 

'Maybe I will speak to Clem,' I conceded.

Xander got up.

'I'd best be going,' he said.

'You're not driving are you?' I asked.

'Well, yeah,' Xander replied. 'What did you think I was going to do?'

'But, um, do you really think that's a good idea?' I pressed.

'What do you mean?' Xander asked.

'Well, y'know.'

'No?'

'Xander, you've been drinking,' I told him.

'And you'd be drinking too if you're ex-girlfriend was shaking up with a James Dean lookeelikee demon,' Xander snapped. 'I'm fine.'

'No,' I said softly, 'you're not.'

'I said' Xander whirled at me.

I didn't flinch.

He did.

'Oh God, Dawn, I'm sorry.' He flopped into a chair. He ran his hands through his hair and then covered his face with them. 'Look at me. I'm a wreck. A washout. I'm almost glad Willow can't see me now. Imagine what she'd think. I can't even help my friend.'

'Yes, you can,' I insisted. 'You can help me. You _are_ helping me.'

'Thanks, Dawn,' Xander said, looking up. 'You've no idea how much I needed to hear that. Mind if a crash hear until I sober up. I promise I'll go after Buffy as soon as I can.'

'I know,' I replied. 'Coffee?'

Xander nodded and I began to fill the kettle.

'You know, we could try and find Trix and Anya,' I suggested. 'They both like Italian and their aren't that many Italian restaurants in town.'

'And we're just supposed to barge in and drag them out?' Xander shook his head. 'Tempting. But they're entitled to be happy. Someone should be.'

'I guess,' I replied. 'I miss the way things used to be Xander. I miss Willow and Tara.'

'I know,' Xander said.

'We were a family then, all of us. We were so close. What happened to us.'

'Life,' Xander explained. 'Life happened.'

I started spooning instant coffee into a couple of mugs.

'Just promise me I'm not going to end up alone,' I asked. 'I don't think I could stand that.'

* * *

I was still asleep when Xander left in the morning, but I wasn't surprised that he hadn't stopped to say goodbye. We both wanted him on the road as soon as possible. I was surprised, however, to find Clem in the kitchen helping himself to my cereal.

'Oh, you're up. Hi!' Clem waved the cereal box in my direction. 'You don't mind, do you? Only Xander said I could make myself at home and, well, these are my favourite.'

I ran a hand through my hair, teasing out the knots.

'I don't mind and you're welcome,' I said, taking the box from Clem and retrieving a clean bowl from one of the kitchen cabinets. 'And they're my favourites too.'

I poured a generous helping into my bowl then started to root around inside the box.

'What are you looking for?' Clem asked me.

'There's supposed to be a free gift in here somewhere,' I explained. 'I'm seeing if I can reach it yet.'

'Want me to have a go?' Clem offered.

I handed him the box and crossed to the fridge to get milk.

'What are you doing here, Clem?' I asked.

'Xander asked me over,' Clem explained. 'He said you might need the company. He also explained about your sister. He will find her, you know.'

'I know.'

I carried the carton of milk back to the table and grinned a toothy smile.

'What's the joke,' Clem asked, one hand still inside the cereal box.

'Just never expected to see a demon eating Sugarbombs,' I replied.

'Hey, breakfast is the most important meal of the day,' Clem said, gesturing with his spoon to emphasise his point, 'and don't you forget it, young lady.'

* * *

Another day, another play rehearsal. Between scenes I was measured for my costume and it hit me just how few weeks were left before the big night. Would Buffy be there to see it?

We had just finished _The Merry Ol' Land of Oz_ when Mr Gleeson told me that he didn't need me any more tonight and that I was free to go if I wanted. I was glad of the opportunity to slip out early because I really didn't need another confrontation with Drew, not right now.

Janice was waiting for me by the door, holding my bag for me.

'Want to walk home together?' she asked.

'Sure,' I said, taking my bag from her and slinging it over my shoulder. 'Have you been here the whole time.'

'Straight up,' Janice replied. 'You really think I'm gonna miss the chance to see you and Drew going at it like Ewan and Nicole?'

'So you're just here to make fun, is that it?'

'Like you wouldn't given half the chance,' Janice responded. 'And anyway, you're both terrific. Chrissie and I can hardly wait.'

'Chrissie?' I asked.

'Oh she'll be here on the night, you'll see,' Janice told me. 'She seems to be looking forward to supporting you two. You especially. Since when were you and Darth Sinister so buddy-buddy, anyhow?'

'Long story,' I replied. 'So are we going or shall we just stand around here disrupting the rehearsal?'

Janice raised an eyebrow.

'Lead on, MacDuff,' she pronounced before adding, 'that's Shakespeare, by the way.'

'I know,' I told her. 'I'm not a total culture black hole. I saw _Romeo and Juliet_.'

'Let me guess, the DiCaprio version?'

'Well, yeah,' I admitted. 'Why else would I watch it?'

'You know, I thought all that time hanging out with that dusty old librarian might have paid off,' Janice said, shaking her head, 'but still the same old Dawn.'

'You betcha.'

'Actually, that's a misquote.'

Janice and I both turned to look at the girl behind us. It was Helena. She was actually taller than us, but she walked around hunched over the whole time, making us all pretty much the same height. She also wore baggy clothes the whole time, like her parents weren't prepared to give her anything other than her big sister's hand-me-downs. Truth was, I felt sorry for her.

'What's a misquote, 'Len, you being the expert and all? Let me guess, you spend all your time reading plays in the hope that you might find a life stashed in there somewhere.'

Janice obviously didn't.

'Leave her alone, Jan,' I said. 'She didn't mean anything by it.'

'Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything,' Helena apologised, shuffling away. 'I'll just be going.'

'No, don't rush off,' I insisted. 'Not till you've told us what that misquote is, anyway.'

'That line, 'Lead on, MacDuff', it's not actually in _Macbeth_,' Helena explained. 'The actual quote is 'Lay on, MacDuff'. A lot of people make that mistake.'

Janice harrumphed, but I ignored her.

'So what are you doing here, Helena?' I asked. 'I didn't think your parents let you out much.'

'I'm helping out with the play,' Helena explained, 'making scenery and stuff. I'd better be getting back.'

'Sure. I'll see you around then.'

I raised my hand to wave and, instinctively, Helena did the same.

There was a mark on the back of her hand.

'Is that a bruise, Helena?' I asked. 'Looks nasty.'

Helena pulled the sleeve of her sweater down to hide it.

'It's nothing,' she told me. 'I just caught myself with the hammer earlier. Wasn't paying attention.'

'Still, you should get someone to take a look at that,' I replied.

'I will,' Helena assured me, hurrying away.

I watched her go.

Janice gestured to the door.

'Lay on, MacDuff,' she said sarcastically.

* * *

There was a shortcut that ran through Weatherley Park. I didn't like the idea of walking through the park after dark, but when I told Janice this, she just laughed. I couldn't exactly tell her that I was scared of the monsters in the park, could I? Janice had spent the best part of the past year repressing her one and only encounter with the undead and I can't say that I blamed her.

'So what do you say we get together Saturday night, the whole gang,' Janice was saying. 'We could go to a movie or just hang out at the Bronze. Something.'

'I don't know,' I began.

'Come on, Dawn,' Janice pressed. 'You never hang out with us anymore. We miss you.'

'I just don't know if I'll be able to make it,' I replied.

'Oh yeah, because you'd much rather be hanging out with your friend with the, and I quote 'skin condition',' Janice shot back. 'Bring him along. We'd all like to meet him.'

'I don't think that'd be a good idea,' I said.

'Why not? Are we not good enough for you all of a sudden?' Janice demanded. 'Dawn, we're worried about you. You've changed - and not in a good way.'

'I'

I didn't know what else to say. Fortunately, I was save from embarrassment by the arrival of three vampires.

'Well, lookee here,' the first vamp said. He was still wearing a Sunnydale High sports jersey. 'Dinner. Still young and tender, too.'

'Stay behind me, Jan,' I ordered.

'Why, what are you gonna do, pretty-pie?' the vampire asked.

'Oh, you know,' I began, sauntering up to him, hands behind me back, 'I thought we might be able to come to some kind of arrangement.'

'What kind of arrangement?'

I stood on tiptoe as if trying to whisper in his hear.

He leant forward so that I could reach.

I rammed the wooden stake I was holding through his chest and he exploded in a cloud of green dust.

'Chalk another one up to Dawn the Vampire Slayer,' I said.

'You're the Slayer?' one of the other vamps asked.

'Well, no,' I admitted.

'That's a relief,' he said. His hand shot forward and clasped around my throat as he lifted me clean off the ground.

I pedalled in the air with my legs and kicked him in the groin. He dropped me. Sometimes the old tricks are the best.

I scrambled to my feet. When it had become obvious that I wasn't going to stay out of trouble, Buffy had started teaching me a little self-defence in the hopes it might keep me alive. It had worked so far.

The vampire lunged towards me, totally lacking in style. I dropped low and swung out with my leg, tripping him. He impaled himself on my stake as he fell past me.

His buddy had Janice pinned against a tree. She screamed as he opened his mouth, baring his fangs.

I threw my stake at him the way I'd seen Buffy do it. The stake bounced off the back of his head.

'What was that?' he asked, turning to face me.

I shrugged.

'Lame?' I offered.

'Got that right.'

He released Janice and she collapsed in a heap on the ground. Then he sprang at me. I tried to roll out of the way, but he landed on top of me, pinning me to the floor.

'Now let's see if you taste as spicy as you act,' he said.

'Let's not and just say we did, 'kay?' Janice said.

The vampire exploded and I could see Janice standing behind him, holding my stake.

He eyes were wide as saucers.

Okay, so how was I going to explain this?

* * *

Helena could hear her parents shouting from outside the house. Hunching her shoulders, she turned the key in the lock and stepped inside. She intended to creep straight upstairs to her room, but her dad had heard the door.

'And where do you think you've been, Helena?' he demanded.

'I was helping out with the school play,' Helena explained.

'Did we give you permission for that?' her dad asked.

'No, but' Helena began.

'Don't contradict me, young lady,' her dad snapped. 'You know the rules and while you are under this roof you will obey them.'

'I'm sorry, Dad.'

'I should hope so.'

'I just want to have a life, you know,' Helena continued. 'How am I supposed to make friends if I'm under curfew the whole time.'

'You can worry about friends once you've sorted out your grades,' her dad shouted at her.

'My grades?'

'Your mother and I have been looking at your report card.'

Helena frowned.

'What's wrong with it?' she asked.

'Look at it,' he dad ordered. 'Not a single A grade among them. No daughter of mine is going to be a failure, do you understand me?'

'Sam, don't you think you're being a little hard on her?' Helena's mom offered.

'No, I don't think I'm being hard enough,' her dad said. 'We've had this discussion before, haven't we, Helena, and still there's no improvement.'

'Maybe I just don't have what it takes,' Helena muttered.

'Don't answer back to me!' Her dad's tongue lashed like a whip. 'You'll just have to find what it takes. No more excuses. Why can't you be more like you're sister?'

'Alicia's dead, Dad,' Helena responded. 'You can't expect me to replace her.'

Helena's dad clenched his fists at his side. He was shaking with barely contained fury.

'How dare you!' he rumbled.

'Sam,' his wife cautioned.

He rounded on his wife, his back to his daughter.

'Go to your room, Helena,' he ordered. 'We will continue this discussion later. Your mother and I have things to talk about first.'

The sound of raised voices followed Helena upstairs to her bedroom.

She threw her bag down in the corner and in landed next to the first aid box. Then she scooped up her teddy bear. His name was Geoffrey and, though he was missing one eye, his fur was lovely and golden and soft. She held him close. Moonlight was streaming through the thin curtains and Helena crossed to the window and started counting the stars in the sky, all the while looking out hopefully for a shooting star and the chance to wish herself away from her excuse for a life.

She was still staring out of the window when her dad opened the bedroom door.

* * *

The bus was hot and crowded. Her bag cradled in her lap, Buffy was wedged between the window and an old woman doing her knitting. Buffy didn't mind. So long as she was moving away from Sunnydale, everything was just peachy.

Other than the bus, the road was empty. It ran high into the hills as it trailed over the top of the dam. On one side of the road, the reservoir stretched out into the distance, the water glittering mysteriously in the moonlight. On the other, the wall of the dam descended a scarily long way down to the valley below.

There was a woman standing in the middle of the road.

The driver slammed his feet on the brakes. He wrestled with the wheel, desperate to avoid the person caught in the headlights. The bus skidded, the frame creaking, wheels screeching as they tore across the tarmac. Then the bus rolled over onto its side, sending its passengers careening about inside it like the balls in a pinball machine. Sparks flew into the air as the bus continued its remorseless progress. The figure in the road continued to stand there, arms folded, a smile on her lips.

The bus finally ground to her halt, hanging half on, half off the road, balanced precariously above the reservoir.

The woman outside leaped on top of the bus and it rocked alarmingly. Those who had so far not screamed thought now might be a good time to start and those already screaming cried all the louder.

Drusilla punched out one of the bus's windows.

'Did you she really think she could run from me, Miss Edith?' Drusilla asked as she stuck her head inside. 'Justice must be served.'

'How's this?' Buffy asked, grabbing hold of the luggage rack above her head and swinging upwards so that her feet connected with Drusilla's jaw. The vampire fell backwards off the bus.

'Service with a smile,' Buffy remarked. She turned back to the driver. 'Get everyone out of here. I'll keep her busy.' Then she launched herself up and out of the bus like a cork from a bottle.

She landed in the middle of the road, a stake already in her hand.

'It's just you and me, now, Drusilla,' she said, circling the vampire. 'It's me you want so leave them out of it.'

Drusilla cocked her head to one side.

'Ah, the Slayer,' she said, 'she's so confused, thinking she is all we want. We want justice. We want vengeance. We want her to suffer as we have suffered, don't we, Miss Edith. And does she know what we're going to do? We're going to find all of her friends and then we're going to rip their lungs out. She can watch if she likes.'

'You're crazy,' Buffy snapped.

She lunged forwards.

Drusilla barely moved, but now the stake was in her hands.

'Silly girl,' she murmured, 'thinking we would be scared of a piece of wood.'

She lashed out with the heel of her hand, striking Buffy in the chest. Buffy was flung backwards down the road.

Buffy recovered quickly, though she was still breathing heavily as she charged the vampire. Punches and kicks descended with both speed and abandon, but Drusilla blocked each and every one.

'What's that, Miss Edith?' Drusilla asked. 'Yes, I agree. Bored now.'

She grabbed Buffy by her wrist, crushing it so that she could hear the bones grinding against each other. Then she hauled Buffy off her feet and carried her over to the edge of the dam, holding her suspended over the vertiginous drop.

'It will take you a while to hit the ground,' Drusilla told Buffy. 'Promise me that you'll spend the time thinking about your friends. The friends I'm going to kill just like you killed my precious Spike.'

Then she let go.


	10. Drusilla

**10. Drusilla**

The air rushed past Buffy, tearing at her hair and her clothes as she fell. She stretched out for the wall of the dam, hands scrabbling for purchase on the surface. Skin was scraped from her fingers as she continued to fall.

She lashed out, striking forwards with her right hand with as much strength as she could muster and the wall cracked under the impact. For a brief moment she was able to find purchase in her newly made handhold and her descent stopped abruptly, the sudden jolt shaking every bone in her body.

But for that one moment she was not falling.

Then her sweat-coated fingers started to slip and, struggle as she might, she couldn't regain her grip.

She was plummeting once again.

* * *

I brought Janice home with me. She was in shock. The first time we had been attacked by vampires - not one of my finest hours - Janice had been able to pass the whole thing of as a dream, or a hallucination or something. I mean, real people don't turn to dust when you stick a bit of wood in their chests, do they? I blame myself, I guess. I knew what was going on. I could have talked to her about it, helped her through it. But I was so desperate to protect my friends from Sunnydale's dark secret that I was more than happy to help with the denial. And because of that my best friend was falling apart.

I had one arm round her, supporting her, as we walked up the drive.

'Those were really vampires, weren't they?' she asked.

'Yeah,' I replied. What else was there to say?

'I stabbed a guy and he justI don't knowturned to dust or something,' Janice continued. 'That's not right, is it?'

'Once we get inside, we're going to have a long talk,' I said. I couldn't protect my friends by hiding the truth from them, so I might as well let them into my world. And if they couldn't deal? Well, at least I'd given them that choice, rather than making the decision for them.

'And that stuff last year, y'know, with Justin and everything, that was vampires too?'

'Mm hmm.' I fumbled with my keys as I tried to open the door while still keeping my arm round Janice.

'But you said'

'I know,' I replied, shoving the door open with my foot, 'and I'm sorry. I'll explain everything once we're inside. I promise. But let's get in the warm first, 'kay?'

I led Janice into the lounge.

'Hiya, kids!' Clem said, bounding to his feet and waving at us.

Janice fainted.

'Was it something I said?' Clem asked.

* * *

When she heard the door to her bedroom click closed, Helena finally stopped fighting back the tears and allowed herself to cry. The tears felt hot as they ran down her cheeks and she could taste salt where they touched her lips.

She was kneeling at the foot of her bed, facing the window. The window was open and the cold air was raising goose pimples on her naked skin. She pulled on a T-shirt, trying to ignore the sharp burning pain in her back.

How long had this been going on? She tried to remember a night that had been free from pain. She tried to please her father, tried so hard. But it was never enough. And it always came down to this. Thisor worse than this.

Not for the first time, Helena wondered if she could take it anymore. She would pray to God to make it stop, but she had given up believing in God a long time ago.

* * *

'Buffy! Buffy, wake up! Please!'

Buffy tried opening her eyes, then immediately snapped them shut again. Even the starlight was too bright.

'Xander?' she groaned.

'Thank God,' Xander said, releasing all of the tension that had been building inside of him in one long breath. 'I though that you were'

'Almost,' Buffy said, struggling to sit up, 'and part of me wishes I were. Least then it wouldn't hurt so much. How'd you find me?'

'I heard about the bus on the car radio,' Xander explained, helping Buffy to stand. 'Stood to reason you'd be involved somehow. Now lets get you back home.'

'Yes,' Buffy agreed.

'What, no argument?' Xander inquired. 'I thought you wanted to get as far away from us as possible?'

'That was then,' Buffy told him.

'And now?'

'Now? Drusilla's going after Dawn,' Buffy explained, 'so less talking and more driving.'

* * *

Janice groaned as she regained consciousness.

'What hit me?' she moaned.

'One surprise too many, I think,' I replied.

'Who was that?' she asked. 'I'm not seeing things again, am I?'

'No, you're not,' I promised. 'That was Clem.'

'You're friend with the 'skin condition',' Janice recalled.

'That's the one,' I agreed.

'That was no skin condition,' Janice pointed out.

'No,' I said.

Janice looked at me expectantly. I sighed.

'Clem's a demon,' I explained, then added hastily, 'a nice demon. Honest.'

'A demon.'

'Yeah, yeah,' I said. 'Vampires are real. Demons are real. Werewolves are real. Basically all the monsters you can think of really do exist and most of them come through here at some point or another.'

Janice just looked at me.

'And now you think I'm crazy,' I deduced.

'No,' Janice replied, shaking her head. 'I figured you were crazy long before now.'

'Thanks a lot,' I replied, but I was smiling. Janice was acting more her usual face.

'So,' she said, glancing round the room, 'where's your demon friend now?'

'In the kitchen,' I explained. 'He's making chilli con carne.'

'There's a demon,' Janice said. 'In your kitchen. Making chilli.'

'He's a really good cook,' I offered.

'Riiiight,' Janice said. 'Listen, much as I'd love to stay and sample his cooking, Mom's got to be worried sick right now.'

'I, er, already called her and asked if you could stay the night,' I explained. 'Sorry.'

'And she agreed?' Janice asked.

'Yeah,' I said. 'I thought I'd really have to beg, but she seemed pretty relieved underneath that cold hard exterior.'

'We've got the decorators in,' Janice replied. 'She's probably glad not to have me underfoot. And on behalf of my mom, hey!'

It wasn't that Janice disagreed with me, but she didn't like anyone dissing her mom. Anyone who wasn't her, anyway.

'So what's really going on around here, Dawn,' she asked. 'Do I warrant the truth this time.'

'Yeah, I guess you do at that,' I admitted.

'Well?'

'Sorry just trying to work out where to start,' I said. 'Guess the best place is with Buffy.'

'Your big sister?'

'That's right,' I agreed, 'my big sister. Buffy the Vampire Slayer.'

* * *

'I just don't like Dawnie holding out on us,' Drew was saying.

He and Chrissie were emerging from the Sun Cinema on the high street. They had both been to a late night film showing. Drew had been hoping for a little making out in the dark, but Chrissie had actually wanted to watch the film. Their mood as they started for home was sour.

'Cut her some slack, Drew,' Chrissie replied. 'How do you know she's hiding something anyway?'

'Oh come on, Chrissie,' Drew retorted, 'it's obvious.'

The breeze was blowing Chrissie's hair into her eyes so she reached up and tucked it beneath her woollen hat.

'Maybe to a conspiracy nut like you,' she said, 'but the rest of the human race? Well, we just can't see it.'

Drew shook his head.

'What is it with this place?' he asked. 'There's more denial in Sunnydale than in Africa. Open your eyes, Chrissie. There's some major-league weirdness going on around here.'

'Yeah? Well excuse me if it's all just passed me by.'

'Hello, children,' Drusilla said as she glided down the street towards them. 'You shouldn't be out on your own after dark. But don't fret. Mummy's here now.'

Drusilla wasn't alone. Four people flanked her, three men and a woman. One of the men was wearing a brown suit. It was worn and frayed and there was a hole at the elbow of the jacket. The woman was wearing a white dress that fell to mid-thigh. There was a pinkish stain down the front of the dress.

'Look, we don't want any trouble,' Drew said. 'How about we just go down this way and you can pretend we were never here.'

The vampires shifted to their game-faces.

'Okay, I accept the weirdness,' Chrissie said. Her voice was shrill and she fought to keep it under control. 'Can we just run now?'

They ran.

'Take them,' Drusilla ordered.

* * *

Anya was letting Trix walk her home from the Magic Box. When they arrived, she was planning to invite him in for coffee. And thenwell, let's just say that she felt she was really getting the hang of these human mating-rituals.

Then they heard the screaming.

'We could just ignore it,' Anya suggested half-heartedly.

'Yeah,' Trix agreed with an equal lack of conviction. 'It's not like we're Slayers or anything. It's not up to us to save the day at the drop of a hat.'

'No,' Anya affirmed. 'We both have respectable jobs and already contribute more than our fair share to the community. To expect us to do any more is'

'Oh what the hell,' Trix said. 'Who are we trying to kid.'

They set off in the direction of the noise, Trix racing ahead of Anya who was struggling to run in heels.

Two teenagers were running in the opposite direction, a pale-skinned girl dressed in head-to-toe black and a guy with spiky dyed-blond hair. Trix wasn't focussed on the kids, however. He was looking at the five vampires pursuing them, one of whom just had to be Drusilla.

'Pick on someone your own size,' Trix snarled as he leaped forward. 

His jaw distended as he sailed through the air and then clamped down on the throat of the nearest vampire, tearing it away. The vampire staggered back. Its head was only held on now by a thin strip of flesh, but it was enough to keep it alive. Briefly. Trix whiled and delivered a spin kick to the vampire's face, knocking its head clean off its shoulders. Its body crumbled to dust.

In the struggle, Trix's cap had come off, exposing his pointed ears and horns.

Chrissie put a hand over her mouth.

'Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod,' she moaned.

'Told you so,' Drew said.

His smugness served to snap Chrissie back to reality.

'Well here's a thought,' she said. 'You stay here and revel in how right you are. I'm sure that'll far out weigh the minor inconvenience of being killed.'

The female vamp in the white dress launched herself upwards, pirouetting in the air while lashing out with her feet. She kicked Trix once, twice, three times in the chest and the demon staggered back before stumbling and falling to the floor.

'Trix!' Anya screamed.

'So your bright idea is to run away, is it,' Drew demanded of Chrissie, 'and leave other people to fight our battles for us.'

'What do you mean 'our battles'?' Chrissie shot back. 'You think I asked to be chased through town by horror movie rejects. This is nothing to do with me. If thesewant to fight it out then I say let them. I'm outta here.'

'Well, I'm going to stay and help,' Drew informed her defiantly.

He turned back towards his pursuers and was immediately floored when a vampire punched him in the stomach.

'Drew!' Chrissie shouted. 'Hands off my boyfriend!'

She kicked the vampire in the shins.

'Don't kick them, stake them,' Anya shouted at her. 

She pulled a stake from her purse and threw it at Chrissie. Chrissie fumbled it, but managed to pin it against her chest with her forearm. Holding the stake in her left hand, Chrissie lunged forward, eyes partly closed. The stake jarred against one of the vampire's ribs and the impact knocked the stake from her hand.

'That wasn't nice,' the vampire said, grabbing Chrissie by the shoulders, 'but I'm sure there's a way you can make it up to be.'

He leaned in for the killthen exploded in a cloud of dust.

Drew was standing on the other side, stake in hand.

'Boyfriend, huh?' he asked.

'Keep it to yourself,' Chrissie replied.

Trix was stuck between the two remaining vampire minions. He was holding his own, but it was only a matter of time before one of them scored a lucky blow.

'Hang on, I'm coming.' 

Anya raced forward, stake in hand. Then she stopped short, as if held by an invisible force.

'What have we here?' Drusilla asked. 'Another of Buffy's little followers. But you're different, aren't you? We can sense it. Ah, now we recall. You're Anyanka, patron saint of wronged women.'

Anya nodded.

'Do I count as a wronged woman, Anyanka?' Drusilla asked, pulling a miserable face. 'The Slayer killed my love. Doesn't that entitle me to some rightful vengeance.'

Anya fought to keep from nodding, but the force acting on her was too strong.

'Oh goody.' Drusilla clapped her hands together like a little girl. 'In that case, I wish you little demon friend would stop fighting me. No, not that. We wish his blood would burn like acid.'

'Wish granted,' Anya said in a hollow voice.

Trix screamed.

* * *

Once the bath was full, Helena turned off the taps. After checking for what must have been the seventh time that the door was securely locked, she stepped out of her dressing gown and lowered herself into the warm water. The bath was too short for her to stretch out her legs and her knees stuck out of the water like twin mountain peaks.

Helena lay back and closed her eyes, enjoying herself, if only for a moment.

Then she twisted and leaned other the side of the bathtub. Water splashed out and across the floor. Mom would be furious.

Helena picked up the knife in her right hand.

She settled back in the bath, making herself comfortable. She could just get out now, she thought, wrap herself in a towel and pretend this had never happened. But what would be the point. She stretched out her left arm. Holding the knife firmly in her right hand, she dug the point into her left wrist. A bead of dark red blood appeared almost immediately. Slowly, she began to drawn the knife towards her, lengthways along her wrist. She had read in a book some time that this was the correct way to do it, not across the wrist like you saw on TV.

Blood sprayed out, staining the blue and white tiles on the wall. It was flowing freely now, thick and warm. It trickled to her elbow and then drip, drip, dripped into the bath water.

When she was satisfied, Helena swapped the knife to her other hand. It was more difficult to hold on to it this time, as if she couldn't quite control her own fingers. Still, she persisted and succeeded in tearing an admittedly more ragged gash in her right wrist. She dropped the knife over the side of the bath and the blade clattered against the hard floor.

Helena slid down into the bath, so that the water lapped over the top of her shoulders. Then she closed her eyes and waited.

* * *

'Can't this thing go any faster?' Buffy demanded.

'I'm going as fast as I can,' Xander snapped back, but he stamped a bit harder on the accelerator, just in case.

'I'm sorry,' Buffy began, 'it's just'

She hid her head in her hands. When she emerged, she looked even more drawn and tired than she had when Xander had found her.

'I just don't even think about what Drusilla might be doing to Dawn and there's nothing I can do to stop it,' she said. 'I should never have left. I thought I was protecting her, protecting all of you. I should have known better. Angelus taught her, after all.'

'Look, Buffy, I'm hardly one to talk about good decision making,' Xander said, looking across at her, 'but you did what you thought was right. Don't beat yourself up over it.'

'Xander, watch the road,' Buffy shouted, pointing.

Xander slammed on the breaks, swerving to avoid the man standing in the middle of the road. The car came to a halt on the grass verge.

'Who the hell is that?' Xander demanded.

The figure was watching them. He was tall and pale, dressed in white and gold. And he had wings.

'A friend,' Buffy told Xander, as she unbuckled her seatbelt. 'I think.'

Xander moved to unbuckle his own belt, but Buffy put a hand on his arm.

'Stay here,' she said. 'I won't be long.'

Then she opened the door and stepped outside.

* * *

Xander either didn't think to ask Buffy what happened or, more likely, Buffy refused to tell him. Either way, I can only guess at what happened out there in the middle of nowhere. I suppose it might have gone down like this:

'Zauriel. You're a long way from home,' Buffy said.

'I came looking for you,' the angel replied. 'There is much we have to discuss.'

'What's to talk about,' Buffy replied. 'You're here to take me away.'

'Not yet,' Zauriel replied, 'but soon.'

'I guess I'm luckier than most,' Buffy said. 'At least I know where I'm going. Death doesn't scare me any more.'

'Do you really mean that?' Zauriel asked.

'No, I'm terrified,' Buffy said. 'Why now, Zauriel. I've just got my life back together. We're happy. II don't want to die.'

'Few people do, Buffy,' Zauriel said, 'but death is a part of life whether we want it to be or not.'

'How very Zen,' Buffy replied. 'I guessI mean when I was brought back I thought it was because I had a purpose. A destiny. But this? It's just so pointless. It's a lovers' quarrel as filmed by Hammer. I mean, where's the apocalypse? Where's my big defining moment? My death should at least mean something, don't you think?'

'I wish it were that simple,' Zauriel replied, 'but we didn't send you back. That was not our choice.'

'You're saying that I should have stayed dead?' Buffy asked.

'I'm saying that there is no great force of destiny at work here,' Zauriel explained.

'Then I'm free to choose,' Buffy deduced. 'I don't have to go to mydeath.'

'It's your choice,' Zauriel said. 'It's always been your choice.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' Buffy demanded. 'I never chose any of this. I was made the Slayer, I didn't choose that.'

'Didn't choose to be _a _Slayer, perhaps,' Zauriel replied, smiling enigmatically, 'but to be _the_ Slayer, that was entirely down to you. There has never been, will never be, another Slayer quite like you.'

'Well that makes me feel so much better,' Buffy snapped.

'I'm not here for comfort, Buffy, not this time,' Zauriel remarked solemnly. 'I'm here for the choice.'

'So what do you think I should do?' Buffy asked.

'It's your choice, not mine,' Zauriel pointed out.

'I can't fight her,' Buffy said, 'not like she is now.'

'Then don't,' Zauriel said.

'But if I don't then people will die, people I care about.'

'Then that's your choice: your life or theirs?'

Buffy looked away, feeling naked beneath the angel's penetrating gaze. When she turned back, there was resolve in her eyes.

'Promise me you'll keep an eye on Dawn for me,' she said.

That's one way it might have happened. Or maybe it went like this:

'Zauriel,' Buffy said.

'Buffy,' Zauriel replied.

'You left me behind,' Buffy accused him. 

Then she punched him hard enough to knock him off her feet, spun on her heel and stalked back to the car.

I'm betting on one of those scenarios.

* * *

Trix writhed on the floor, screaming, his own blood eating him up from the inside out. Anya wanted to run to him, to help him, but the power of the Wish held her where she was. A lone tear rolled down her cheek.

'Leave him alone,' Chrissie shouted at Drusilla. 'You're killing him.'

The vampire in the dress held Chrissie immobile. Drew lay unconscious at her feet.

'But child, that's the point,' Drusilla purred. 'I want to hurt him. I want to hurt all of you.'

She glided across to Chrissie and cupped the girl's chin in her hand. Her long nails scraped across Chrissie's face.

'But you're a curious one, aren't you,' she said.

'Wh-what do you mean?' Chrissie stammered.

'You're incomplete,' Drusilla explained. 'A jigsaw with a piece missing. And you don't even know it. Howsad.'

She let go of Chrissie and turned away as if the girl had lost all interest for her.

'Now what shall we do with you, my pretty little demon?' Drusilla asked, stroking Trix's face with the back of her hand. 'I wish'

'No!' Chrissie shouted. 'No more. He can't take any more.'

Drusilla turned, exposing her vampire face.

'I wish she would shut up,' she snarled.

'Wish granted,' Anya said tonelessly.

Chrissie tried to scream, but no sound would come out. She no longer had a mouth.

'Now, where were we?' Drusilla asked.

'Stop!'

'Now what is it?' Drusilla demanded.

Halfrek stepped out of the shadows.

'Anya, honey, what do you think you're playing at?' Halfrek asked.

'She's helping me to get a little vengeance,' Drusilla explained. 'That's what a vengeance demon does.'

'Honey, you are so out of your league, here,' Halfrek replied. 'Anya's not a vengeance demon, we're justice demons and that means we don't have to do anything that's not justified.'

'My vengeance is just,' Drusilla insisted. 'They killed my darling, my love.'

'Oh change the record, girlfriend,' Halfrek retorted. 'Your precious Spike never was the man you seem to think he was.'

'How dare you,' Drusilla snapped. 'I loved him. And you'

'Hey, I knew him before you came along, honey,' Halfrek said, 'and trust me on this, that guy was lacking something even before you took his soul. William was a mess and a killer. He wasn't killed because they wanted to do it, he was killed because they had to. He brought it on himself. There's no call for vengeance here.'

'I'll kill them all for what they did,' Drusilla snarled.

'And you're welcome to try,' Halfrek replied, 'but you won't get any help from the likes of us. There's no justice in what you're doing and that means you have no power here.'

'We'll see,' Drusilla said. 'I wish snakes would grow from your mouth and devour your eyeballs.'

'Anya, you don't have to do this,' Halfrek insisted. 'You're a justice demon now. She has no power over you.'

'She has no power over me,' Anya repeated through gritted teeth.

'I wish her head would shrivel like a prune,' Drusilla said.

'No,' Anya insisted. Sweat beaded on her forehead from the effort of resisting Drusilla.

'I wish your arms and legs would drop off and be eaten by rats.'

'No.'

'I wish'

'No,' Anya repeated. 'No no no no no.'

Drusilla stamped her foot petulantly.

'You're no fun anymore,' she complained.

'Sorry, darling,' Halfrek said with a shrug.

'I could snap you like a twig, demony thing' Drusilla told her.

Halfrek folded her arms.

'Really?' she asked.

'Your time will come,' Drusilla promised before turning to her vampires. 'Take them.'

Her two remaining minions scooped up Drew and Chrissie and the three vampires strode off into the darkness.

It was a long time before Anya could summon up the strength to move again.

* * *

'This is good,' Janice commented as she scooped up another forkful of chilli.

'Thank you,' Clem said, beaming.

'So, you're a demon,' Janice said slowly.

'Mm hmm,' Clem agreed through a mouthful of chilli.

'What's it like?'

'I'm sorry?'

'Being a demon,' Janice clarified, 'what's it like?'

I leaned forward in my seat. I'd never thought to ask Clem that and I was curious about what he might say.

'Ah. Now that's a tricky question,' Clem began. 'It's not like I'm a vampire so I've never been a human and, well, I don't really have much to compare it with.'

'So you're not going to tell me,' Janice concluded.

Clem looked at me.

'You don't have to if you don't want to,' I said.

Clem nodded and took a sip from his drink.

'Let me ask you a question first,' he said to Janice. 'After all you've seen tonight, what do you think of Dawn now?'

Janice shifted uncomfortably in her seat. So did I.

'I don't know,' she admitted at last. 'I mean, it's not like she's not the same girl she was yesterday, but I so didn't know she had any of this baggage. I guess it's not her I have problems with, it's everything else, but in her case it's all part of the same package. I'm trying to find out if I can still deal with all that.'

'That's good,' Clem said. 'Most folks would have run for the hills by now. Dawn's lucky to have you for a friend.'

'I don't think so,' Janice replied. 'What kind of friend wants to like run and hide from what you are?'

'But you're still here,' Clem pointed out, 'in spite of everything. That's got to mean something.'

'It means something to me,' I put in.

'You like Dawn a lot, don't you,' Janice said.

'Yeah, I do,' Clem agreed. 'There aren't a lot of humans prepared to treat me as who I am instead of what I am. Most people just see the skin and the ears and think demon. Followed by evil. Followed by kill, kill, kill. Dawn's different. Of course, it doesn't help that most demons are evil and would gobble you up soon as look at you, but we're not all like that.'

'Sounds like you've got it pretty tough,' Janice told him.

'I guess,' Clem admitted with a shrug. 'Like I said, I've never known any different so I've got nothing to compare it to. It would be easier if I was an evil, scary, villainous type. Then I could just take what I want. But I'm just not cut out for that type of stuff.'

'You look pretty scary to me,' Janice told him.

'Thank you,' Clem said. 'You know, that's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. Course, doesn't matter much. Just between you and me, I'm not really up for all that violence and stuff. Makes me squeamish.'

Janice laughed.

'You know, I'm starting to get what Dawn sees in you,' she said.

'Really?'

'Really.'

That's cool,' Clem said. 'And it's not so bad being a demon, not here anyway. Sunnydale's got quite a big non-human community, relatively speaking, so there's always plenty of work going if you want it. It'd just be nice if I could mix with your kind every once in a while.'

Janice shrugged.

'Well I'm not going anywhere,' she pointed out.

'Great,' Clem said, bounding to his feet. 'Who's up for Monopoly.'

'Only if I can be the hat,' Janice called back.

'I bags the dog,' I shouted as Clem went looking for the box.

I turned to Janice.

'So, you're really okay with this?' I asked.

'Yeah, I think so,' she replied. 'I just wish you hadn't lied to me.'

'I was trying to protect you,' I explained.

'I know,' Janice said. 'I'm not blaming you. I just wish you hadn't done it.'

'Yeah, me too,' I agreed. 'The past year would have been a whole lot easier if I'd known you would be there.'

Janice smiled at me.

'Never again, all right?' she said.

Then the window shattered.

* * *

It happened all other town. They targeted children, kids of my age, people I knew from school. The vampires burst in on them, smashing windows, breaking down doors, then snatching up the kids and running off with them into the night. 

Home was supposed to be where you could be safe. Even in Sunnydale. It was the one place the monsters weren't supposed to be able to enter. And in one night that innocence was stripped away. Somewhere, somehow, Drusilla was working her magic, spurred on by the thought of her dear departed Spike, her lover for over a hundred years, and she was breaking the rules, destroying all the advantages that gave us humans a fighting chance against the vampires.

They were predator. We were prey. Nothing else mattered anymore.

And across town, maybe a lone vampire broke into Helena's home. He found the girl in the bathroom, lying motionless in the tub, the water, now cold, coloured red. He touched a skin. There was still heat in her body, but it was fleeing even as he stood there. So the vampire walked away empty-handed.

* * *

Buffy and Xander sat in silence as the pulled up to the outskirts of town. It had been a long drive dragged out by thoughts of what might be happening while they were away. Neither wanted to share the images running though their heads.

They were approaching the gas station when they saw them, four vampires on motorcycles heading their way.

'Guess Drusilla set up a welcoming committee,' Xander remarked. 'Wanna stop and say Hi?'

'No time,' Buffy said. 'Go straight through them.'

'Aye aye, Captain,' Xander replied, flooring the accelerator.

The bikers peeled off to the sides, two on the left, two on the right.

'Well, that was easy,' Xander said.

Then one biker grabbed hold of the passenger side door and tore it off its hinges as he rode past. The biker following him reached in to the car and yanked Buffy out, tearing her seatbelt as he did so. Buffy had dusted him almost before she left the car, but her momentum carried her across the road and away from Xander.

Xander yanked on the steering wheel, trying to turn the car so that he could go to her help, but the remaining bikers had surrounded him. One of them swung a length of chain into the windshield, shattering it, and Xander had to use his arm to shield his face from broken glass. He spun the wheel blindly, hoping to hit one of the bikers, but they were toying with him, keeping just out of his reach.

Then one of the tyres blew and the car skidded across the road.

It collided with one of the petrol pumps and its contents began spilling onto the ground.

Buffy clambered groggily to her feet. She had Slayer strength, but tonight was really taking its toll.

'Xander, get out of the car!' she shouted.

Xander couldn't hear her. His head rested against the steering wheel. Blood flowed from a deep gash on his forehead.

'Xander, get out of there!'

Buffy began to run towards him, but the bikers were tearing up the ground between them.

Flames started to lick at the edge of the pool of petrol.

Buffy sprang, knocking the closest vampire off of his bike with a flying kick. There was a stake in his chest before he hit the ground.

The flame kissed the pump.

Buffy clambered on to the bike, tried to remember all the Spike had shown her and drove straight towards the remaining vampires. First one, then the other swung their chains at the Slayer. Buffy just smiled as she caught a length of chain in either hand. Then she yanked. Hard. The vampires flew off of the bikes and sailed through the air straight towards the stakes Buffy had waiting.

Then the petrol pump exploded.

Buffy screamed.

'Xander!'


	11. Buffy

**11. Buffy**

Light.

That was Xander's first impression when he awoke. He seemed to be floating, surrounded by bright white light.

'Is this heaven?' he asked.

'Aw, Xander, you say the nicest things.'

A shape, no, a figure leaned over him.

'Buffy?'

'The one and only,' she replied. Xander squinted, but he still couldn't make out any more than Buffy's silhouette.

'Where am I?' he asked.

'Hospital,' Buffy told him. 'You've been unconscious most of the day.'

'The car,' Xander said. 'I remember now.'

'I got you out as fat as I could, but' Buffy's voice trailed off. 'I'm sorry Xander.'

'Hey, I'd be dead if it weren't for you,' Xander pointed out, 'and I don't feel so bad.'

'That's because the docs have you doped up so high you're flying with the birds,' Buffy said. 'Trust me, it's bad.'

Xander did not know how to respond to that. He didn't even want to think about it. So he changed the subject.

'What about Drusilla?' he asked.

'It's being taken care of.'

'Yeah? How?'

'Don't worry about it, Xander,' Buffy said. 'It's my problem, not yours.'

'So you're holding out on each other now?' Xander demanded. 'I thought we'd agreed to start trusting each other after, y'know.'

'This is so not about Spike,' Buffy told him.

'Like hell it's not,' Xander replied. 'This has been about Spike since day one. God I hate that guy. Even dead he still finds a way to get at us. So what's the plan to get rid of the Wicked Witch of the West.'

Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, she began to cry.

'Buffy, what is it?' Xander asked. 'What did I say?'

'The Wicked Witch of the West,' Buffy repeated, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. 'It's only a few weeks until Dawn's play. It'll be her big night and you just know she's going to make us all proud. And I'm not going to be there to see it.'

'Buffy, I' Xander began, but Buffy cut him off.

'It's silly, I know,' she said, 'getting this worked up about a dumb play. I mean, there's lots of things I'm going to miss, lots of really important things. So why am I getting all blubbery over a school musical? I'm supposed to be tougher than this.'

'No one should have to be that tough,' Xander said, 'and if I wasn't hooked up to all these drips and stuff I'd reach over there and hug you, but since I can'twell, can a huge, but unfortunately imaginary Xander-hug cheer you up?'

Buffy smiled and, to Xander's drug-addled brain, she looked even more like an angel than usual.

'Thanks, Xander,' she said. 'It's good to know you'll still be here to take care of her.'

'Hey, what's with all this talk of going away,' Xander said. 'You're not gonna die, okay. It's just not going to happen. Ever.'

Buffy shook her head.

'I've already died twice, Xander,' she pointed out.

'But you came back,' he replied. 'We brought you back.'

'Not this time,' Buffy said. 'What's the phrase? Third time lucky.'

'Three strikes and you're out,' Xander added. 'But come on, there's got to be another way. I mean, it's just Drusilla, right. You've beaten her before.'

'Not like this,' Buffy said. 'She's just so much more powerful. She was strong enough to kill Slayers before, but nowit's like none of the rules apply to her any more. How am I supposed to fight something like that?'

'Then don't,' Xander said. 'Run away. Far away.'

'And leave you to face her alone? Like that's gonna happen.'

'Then go to L.A. and find Angel,' Xander suggested. 'He's her sire, he'll know what to do. Heck, why not spring Faith from jail while you're at it. I mean, she may be crazy, but we can overlook that given the circumstances. And there's always strength in numbers. Call Riley. He and Sam get paid for this stuff. And what about Oz and that Pike guy. Let's have a great big Sunnydale reunion.'

'We're out of time, Xander,' Buffy said.

Xander's mouth opened and closed a couple of times wordlessly.

'What's been happening while I've been out?' he asked at last.

Buffy sighed.

'After I got you to the hospital, I went home to check on Dawn,' she said. 'The place was a wreck.'

'Dru,' Xander said.

'And I'm betting she wasn't alone,' Buffy said. 'Whatever trick she uses to get in without an invitation, I'm guessing she can work it for other vamps too.'

'As if we didn't have enough problems.'

'It gets worse,' Buffy told him. 'Clem was there. They'd left him alive, but barely. The only thing that saved his life was that they needed him to give me a message. They've taken Dawn and Janice and, if Drusilla's to be believed, they snatched just about every teen in Sunnydale.'

'Why?' Xander asked. 'What does she want?'

'Me,' Buffy explained. 'She wants me to go alone and unarmed to the Bronze at sun-down.'

'You just know it's gonna be a trap,' Xander said.

'Sure I know,' Buffy replied, 'but what choice do I have? There are too many lives at stake and I refuse to have any more blood on my hands.'

'At least let me go with you,' Xander offered.

'The invitation said alone,' Buffy pointed out, 'and you're in no fit state to go anywhere.'

'So I'm just supposed to lie here helplessly while you throw your life away?'

'Sucks, doesn't it.'

'It was bad enough losing Will,' Xander continued, 'but I managed. I coped. And part of that, a large part was because of you, Buffy. I don't know if I could cope with losing you as well.'

'You'll be strong, Xander,' Buffy said. 'I know you will.'

'And that's supposed to make me feel better?'

'It's all I've got,' Buffy replied.

'At least tell me what the plan is,' he said.

'You're not going to like it,' she said.

'Like I could stop you anyway,' Xander replied.

'Point.'

So she told him.

* * *

Despite not having a mirror, I could tell I look a mess because of the way Janice avoided looking directly at my face. I had attempted to examine the extent of the damage with my fingers, but had stopped when the prodding made my head spin. All I knew for sure was that there was a constant pain down the left side of my face and that my head felt like a balloon someone had blown up just short of bursting.

This was what I got for being a hero.

The vampires had come pouring into the room before Janice and I had a chance to react. They grabbed us and I would have bruises on my arms for a week from where the vamp had dug his claws into me. Then Clem had returned from the other room. He took one look at us, then roared and waded in. For a guy who claims to be squeamish around violence, he's awfully good at it when he gets mad. I'd only ever seen Clem gentle as a kitten before now so I guess I must have forgotten just how big he was. And he had the strength to match his size.

Unfortunately, the vampires had strength of numbers.

Once they had Clem pinned to the ground, they began laying in to him, making him suffer for daring to stand up to them. I couldn't just stand by and watch, so I fought back. The vampires decided to 'discourage' me the way they were discouraging Clem.

That was the last thing I remembered before waking up here.

'Here' was the Bronze. Looking around, I could see frightened teenagers pressed against each other, penned in against one side of the room. Many looked as if they had been snatched direct from their beds, others like they'd been at the Bronze when the vampires took over. The vampires themselves were patrolling in front of us. No one tried standing up to them. I suspected that the fight had been beaten out of any dissenters while I'd been unconscious.

'How long have I been out?' I asked Janice.

'Better part of a day,' she replied, showing me her watch. 'It's mid-afternoon now.'

'So it's daylight out there,' I said. 'If we can get outside, the vampires won't be able to follow.'

At least, I thought they wouldn't. Who knew what other gifts Drusilla had given them?

'And how come you know so much about them?' a familiar voice asked.

'Drew,' I said, turning round so I could face him. He looked like I felt and he didn't seem happy to see me.

'What's going on here, Dawn?' he demanded.

'I don't know,' I told him.

He scowled.

'Seriously,' I insisted. 'Most vampires just kill their prey. I don't know why they're keeping us alive.'

'But you do know a lot about vampires,' Drew persisted. 'An awful lot for someone who claimed not to be holding out on me.'

'Can we shelve this discussion for some time less life-threatening,' I said. 'Where's Chrissie?'

I wondered why she hadn't piped up already, but when Drew pointed to her I understood at once. Chrissie no longer had a mouth.

'What happened?' I gasped. 'Who did this to her?'

'One of your freaky friends, that's who,' Drew explained. 'That one that runs the magic box.'

'Anya?' I asked. 'But she wouldn't? She couldn't?'

'I was there, okay,' Drew said. 'I saw her.'

'Then she must have been forced,' I insisted. 'She wouldn't have done that willingly.'

'Look at her!' Drew demanded, pointing at Chrissie. 'Do you really think that matters?'

There wasn't a lot I could say to that. Fortunately, I didn't have to.

'Where do you get off blaming Dawn for everything?' Janice asked. 'Look around you. Which side if the fence is she on, here with us or out there with them?'

'She knows what's going on,' Drew retorted. 'She's always known. She just didn't think it worth warning us there were monsters out there.'

'She was trying to protect us,' Janice said. 'She wanted to shield us from all this.'

'Well she should have tried harder,' Drew shot back. 'We didn't ask to be involved in her life.'

'Didn't you, Drew?' I asked. 'Weren't you trying to find out my secret. That was going to be the big one, wasn't it? The story that got you noticed.'

'I didn't know what it was going to cost,' Drew said quietly, looking meaningfully at Chrissie.

I looked away, thinking of Willow and Tara. I'd tried to protect them, to keep them out of my other life, but I'd failed and then some. And whatever happened next, it was going to cost us and I knew better than anyone how much.

* * *

Anya jumped out of her chair when she heard the knocking at her front door. She was sitting by one side of the bed. Halfrek was sitting opposite her. Trix was curled up above the covers. His skin was pale, but was hot to the touch. He shivered violently, but at least he had stopped screaming.

The knocking came again, louder this time.

'Well, aren't you going to answer it?' Halfrek asked.

'Do you think I should?' Anya asked.

More knocking, much more forceful then before.

'If you don't want to have to replace that cute door of yours then hell yeah,' Halfrek responded.

Anya got up and walked cautiously from the bedroom.

'Who is it?' she called out.

'Anya, it's me,' Buffy replied. 'We need to talk and there isn't much time.'

Anya flung open the door and wrapped her arms around Buffy.

'Buffy, I'm so glad to see you,' she said.

'Um, sure,' Buffy replied dubiously as she peeled Anya's arms off her. 'I get the feeling I've missed a chapter somewhere.'

'It's Trix,' Anya said. 'I think I've killed him.'

Then she burst into tears.

Buffy put a comforting arm around the demon.

'Show me,' she said.

When Buffy saw Trix curled up on the bed she had to fight to keep herself from turning away, but she knew she had to be strong and if she couldn't stand up to this challenge, how was she going to survive the rest of the evening?

'What happened?' Buffy asked.

The question was directed to Anya, but she was crying too much to speak so Halfrek explained.

'Drusilla is out for vengeance,' she said. 'That means she can claim the power of the Wish for herself.'

'If Drusilla really had control over the Wish, none of us would be here,' Buffy pointed out.

'We fought back,' Halfrek explained. 'We're justice demons, not vengeance demons. Drusilla's claim isn't just so we should be able to fight her.'

'Should?'

'Honey, this isn't an exact science,' Halfrek replied. 'Justice isn't one of nature's fundamental forces. Hate and desire, on the other hand, are.'

'But you managed to stand up to her,' Buffy said.

'Once,' Halfrek replied, 'and not before she'd forced Anya to do some terrible things.'

Buffy chewed her lower lip thoughtfully.

'Drusilla's taken Dawn,' Buffy said slowly. 'She's terrified my sister, hurt her for, as you put it, her unjust desire for vengeance. Does that make me a 'wronged woman'?'

A smile twitched across Halfrek's lips as she realised what Buffy was getting at.

'You know, honey,' she replied, 'it just might. It just might at that.'

Buffy turned to Anya.

'Anyanka,' she said, 'I need you to listen to me. I have been wronged and I wish make my rightful claim to the power of the Wish.'

'What is your desire?' Anya asked. Her voice was resonant, formal, completely at odds with her tear-streaked face.

'I wish that all those wishes you have granted Drusilla are undone,' Buffy told her.

And now a smile appeared on Anya's face.

'Wish granted,' she said.

Trix stretched, cat-like, and sat up.

'Like you couldn't have done that sooner?' he asked.

Anya threw her arms around him, climbing onto the bed beside him.

'I thought you were going to die,' she said. 'I thoughtI though I'd killed you.'

'Hush now,' Trix said, brushing a stray strand of hair out of her face. 'You can't get rid of me that easily.'

'Everything's a joke to you, isn't it,' Anya said, anger mixing in with the relief.

'Not everything,' Trix said, leaning closer so that he could kiss her.

'Cute, isn't it,' Halfrek said to Buffy.

'That's one word for it,' Buffy replied. 'I'm just going to wait in the next room. You'll let me know when they're done?'

She was sitting in the other room, thumbing through a TV guide when Trix and Anya came up for air.

'Um, sorry about that,' Trix said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Anya had her arm around him and she was grinning broadly, completely unapologetic.

'Whatever,' Buffy said, waving Trix's apology away. 'You guys should enjoy each other while you can.'

'Anything good on?' Halfrek asked, pointing to the magazine.

Buffy shrugged, replacing the TV guide on the table.

'Nothing I'm going to get to see,' she replied.

'Another late night, huh?' Halfrek deduced.

'Later than you might think.'

'So, when do we saddle up and get some payback?' Trix asked.

'Isn't that a bit direct for you?' Buffy asked. 'What happened to the laid-back demon we've all come to know and'

'Love?' Anya offered.

'Speak for yourself,' Buffy replied.

'The old Trix is still in here somewhere,' Trix told her, 'but having an insane vampire turn your blood to something nasty, that tends to piss a guy off a little.'

'I can imagine,' Buffy said, 'and in answer to your first question, _we_ aren't going anywhere. I'm going alone.'

'You have so got to be kidding,' Halfrek said.

'Can you promise me you won't fold if Drusilla tries to use your powers again,' Buffy asked, 'honestly.'

Halfrek looked away.

'Thought not,' Buffy continued. 'Besides, there's something I need you to do for me. I want you to go to the hospital and guard Xander.'

'Xander's in hospital?' 

Anya's arm fell away from Trix and she took a small step to one side. She probably didn't even realise she was doing it, but Buffy noticed. And so did Trix.

'There was a car accident,' Buffy said, cutting off Anya's squeals of concern. 'He's going to be fine. But Drusilla's already gone after him once and I'll feel better if I know someone's gonna be watching over him.'

'We're there,' Trix said. 'And in the meantime, I suppose you'll be taking the fight to the crazy-lady herself?'

'Soon,' Buffy assured him, 'but there's one more stop I need to make first.'

* * *

I didn't even see it happen, but one moment Chrissie had a smooth area of flesh where her mouth should be, the next she broke into a relieved smile. She poked and prodded her face with her fingers.

'Is everything okay?' she asked.

'You look back to normal,' I said.

'You look great,' Drew added.

'What do you suppose happened just now?' Janice asked.

I had no doubts.

'Buffy,' I said.

'Your sister?' Drew asked sceptically.

'Seems Buffy's more than just a sister,' Janice told him.

'So she's prepared to tell you what's going on, just not the rest of us,' Drew declared hotly.

'It wasn't like that,' Janice replied.

'No?' Drew asked. 'Because it sounds very much like the two of you have been talking behind my back.'

'Will you cut it out,' Chrissie snapped. 'Dawn's our friend, or had you forgotten that part.'

'I just' Drew began. 'Seeing you like that'

'Nice as it is to know you care,' Chrissie replied, 'it's hardly Dawn's fault. Don't you think I wish she'd have told us about all this stuff rather than keeping secrets? Sure I do. But I trust Dawn and I know she had her reasons. And, be fair, would knowing this stuff really have helped us last night?'

'I guess not,' Drew admitted reluctantly.

'Keep the noise down back there,' one of the vampires called out.

He walked over to us.

'We've got ways of keeping you quiet,' he said. 'Permanently.'

His hand shot out and grabbed Drew by the throat, hauling him off of the ground.

'Do you really think we need this many hostages?' The vampire asked, baring his fangs.

'Enough!'

Drusilla glided into the room, her black dress trailing like shadows.

'You've been a very naughty boy,' she said. 'Did mummy say you could feed? Did she?'

'But I'm hungry,' the vampire whined.

'No one eats anyone until I say so,' Drusilla told him. 'Do you understand?'

'I understand,' the vampire said, meekly. He let go of Drew, who fell to the floor, gasping for air.

'Good boy,' Drusilla said, stroking the vampire's face and his hair. 'You'll all get to feast on the cattle later and you wouldn't want to spoil your appetite before then, would you?'

'No, mistress,' the vampire agreed, eyes down, submissive.

'That's my boy,' Drusilla said. 

Then she tore off his head.

'Does anyone else want to argue with mummy?' she asked.

* * *

The basement apartment was reached by a flight of stairs at the side of the building. Buffy jumped down the stairs and kicked the door open.

'Do you mind?' Jonathan complained. 'Who's gonna pay for a new lock?'

'Sorry,' Buffy said, not sounding very sorry at all. 'I'm having a bad day.'

'Well, I appreciate you sharing your pain and all,' Jonathan replied, 'but try not to share it with my furniture.'

'I'll take it under advisement,' Buffy said.

Jonathan was sitting at his computer, the screen angled away from Buffy.

'Working on anything interesting?' she asked, trying to sneak a peak.

'None of your business,' Jonathan insisted, hurriedly turning off the monitor.

'I'll take that as a yes then,' Buffy said, 'but I'm not here to pry into your dirty secrets.'

Jonathan swung his swivel chair round to face her. He overestimated, though, and ended up spinning further than he intended. He thrust out his feet to try and stabilise himself.

'S-so why are you here,' he asked as he managed to bring the chair to a stop.

'Are you still serious about wanting to make up for what you've done?' Buffy asked.

'Well, yeah. Sure,' Jonathan said. 'What did you have in mind?'

'I need you're help to defeat Drusilla,' Buffy told him.

'I'm, well, I'm not really good with all that fighting stuff,' Jonathan admitted.

'Don't worry,' Buffy said, 'I'm not asking you to come with me. I just need a little magical assist.'

'Even there,' Jonathan said, 'I don't do much in the way of combat magic. That's not how my powers work.'

'So what can you do?' Buffy asked. 'I've seen you work some really bad mojo before, Jonathan. There must be something you can do.'

Something crossed Jonathan's face.

'Sorry, can't help you,' he said hastily. 'Wish I could. Do you best to close the door on your way out.'

'Jonathan,' Buffy warned, 'you've thought of something, haven't you?'

'Uh uh. No way,' Jonathan replied. 'Absolutely not.'

'Jonathan,' Buffy said, 'don't make me have to hurt you.'

'It's just a theory,' he whined, 'an idea I had for beating vamps. I don't even know if it'd work.'

'Who's up for a little experiment?' Buffy asked rhetorically.

'You don't understand what you're asking,' Jonathan pleaded.

'I think I do,' Buffy said. 'I think I know exactly what I'm asking.'

'Don't make me do this. Please.'

'You owe me, Jonathan,' Buffy said.

'No way I owe you that much,' Jonathan replied.

'Then don't do it for me,' Buffy said. 'Drusilla's holding a bunch of kids hostage, including my sister. If I can't save them then they'll all die. And I can save them, but only with your help. I know your conscience is bugging you. That's why you offered to help in the first place. Imagine how much worse it'll be when you're responsible for all these deaths.'

* * *

Janice was looking at her watch.

'Sun'll be down soon,' she said. 'Do you think you're sister will come for us.'

'I'm sure of it,' I told her, 'but I'm praying she won't.'

'What do you mean?' Janice asked.

'Look at them,' I said, indicating the vampires. 'There are so many of them. Buffy's good, but'

'She's here,' Drusilla shouted.

A moment later, Buffy kicked the door open.

'You know,' she said, 'this is probably the first time I've been on time for anything. I'm alone and unarmed, just like you asked.'

'Search her,' Drusilla ordered two vampires.

'Why don't we just kill her?' one of the vampires asked.

'I'm here to talk,' Buffy said.

'And there's much to talk about,' Drusilla said, 'so many words written on the air waiting to be spoken. It would be a shame of you were to die before I'd had a chance to share them.'

'But' the vampire continued.

Drusilla glared at him and he recoiled. Then she turned back to Buffy.

'If you do not let my children search you I might have to hurt one of the poor humans,' she said, 'but if they try to do any more than hurt, well, I can always make more.'

Buffy stood rigidly to attention while the vampires searched her for weapons. One vampire was particularly thorough in his search, but eased off when Buffy glared at him. The other vampire screamed when he found the cross hanging round Buffy's neck. He backed away, clutching his smoking hand.

'Take it off,' Drusilla said.

For a moment, I thought Buffy was going to argue, but then she shrugged, removed the necklace and threw it out of the door behind her.

'Now can we talk?' Buffy asked.

'That's your sister?' Chrissie asked.

'Mm hmm,' I agreed, torn between pride and fear.

'Wow.'

'I can taste the fear in the air,' Drusilla purred. 'It's all tingly, like the air before a storm.'

'Good choice of words,' Buffy remarked.

'Are you afraid of me, Slayer?' Drusilla asked. 'Yes, yes, you can't hide it from me. I can see it, you know. It's like dozens of fireflies crawling across your skin. You're afraid of me.'

'Yes,' Buffy said. 'I've seen what you can do. I have a right to be afraid.'

'And yet still you are here,' Drusilla said. 'I wonder why.'

'I came to stop you hurting these kids,' Buffy explained.

Drusilla shook her head.

'Now, now, tell mummy the truth,' she scolded. 'You wanted to run away, but you couldn't. You could feel the pull, couldn't you, the tug of my vengeance, drawing you back. Justice will be served.'

'The only reason I ran away was to prevent you from hurting anyone else,' Buffy replied. 'That's also the only reason I came back.'

'Believe what you wish,' Drusilla said. 'Doesn't make it true. I can here the Fates calling to me, singing their sweet lullabies. They are marking out the span of your life, ready to act out punishment for what you've done. The span of your life is oh so short now.'

'What's she talking about?' Janice whispered to me.

'I don't know,' I replied, but I was afraid that I did.

'You took him from me,' Drusilla continued, moving slowly forward, writhing sinuously like a serpent hypnotising its prey. 'You killed my precious Spike, my love. That was bad.'

'What do you care?' Buffy asked. She shifted her legs, spacing them further apart in a loose fighting stance. 'You left him as I recall.'

'But I never stopped loving him,' Drusilla snapped. 'We were meant to be together forever, but even from the first you poisoned his mind. You took him from me and then, when you were done, you destroyed what was left.'

'I never wanted him,' Buffy insisted. 'He was the one that came after me.'

'Liar!' Drusilla shouted. 'You bewitched him. You used him for your pleasure than spat him out, twisted and broken.'

'That's so not how it happened,' Buffy told her.

'You took from me the one I loved,' Drusilla said. 'It's only fair that I do the same to you.'

She snapped her fingers and a vampire walked other and plucked me out of the crowd. I tried to struggle, but he was built like a professional wrestler. He threw me onto the ground at Drusilla's feet. Before I could stand, she had crouched down and had wrapped her arms around me, stroking me with those long fingernails of hers. I tried to pull away, but her arms were in constant motion, hemming me in.

'Leave her alone!' Buffy shouted.

'Do you feel it?' Drusilla asked. 'Do you feel a fraction of the pain I feel?'

She rang her finger along my cheek, opening up the wound that I had suffered back at the house. The blood felt warm against my skin.

'I said leave her alone!' Buffy started forward, but four vampires moved to block her path.

'Don't you want to watch, little girl?' Drusilla purred. 'Don't you agree that it's my right to hurt you the way you hurt me?'

Buffy took a deep breath.

'What if I could offer you an alternative?' she said.

'What could you possibly offer me in exchange for the life of my beloved Spike?' Drusilla demanded.

Buffy's eyes met mine.

'No!' I shouted, as I realised what she was going to say. Buffy's voice, however, was louder, resonating around the room.

'Me,' she said.

'You?' Drusilla laughed. 'We already have you. I will make you watch while I torture your sister and then we will kill her and all these cattle. And then, when you are finally broken, we will feast on your heart. You see, you have nothing to offer me.'

'That's not what I meant,' Buffy said. 'I'm offering myself as a replacement for Spike. I'm prepared to let you sire me.'

'You would do that?' Drusilla asked, eyes alive with interest.

'Willingly,' Buffy said, 'as long as you spare their lives.'

'What makes you think you are worthy to replace my Spike?'

Buffy sneered.

'What makes you think I'm not?'

Drusilla cocked her head to one side.

'I turn them free and I get to turn you?'

'That's the deal,' Buffy said.

'I could always turn you through force,' Drusilla replied. 'I could make you become one of us.'

'It wouldn't be the same, though, would it?' Buffy told her. 'I soul that chooses the darkness of its own free will is always that much sweeter. Isn't that what Angel said?'

Drusilla licked her lips.

'Let them go,' she commanded her vampires.

'But' one of them began.

Drusilla rounded on him.

'Don't make me repeat myself,' she said.

The kids began to stream towards the exit. I felt Drusilla's hand on my shoulder.

'Run,' she whispered in my ear.

I ran.

I only stopped when I reached the door. My heart was pounding in my chest. I was trembling. But my sister was about to throw her life away and I wasn't about to let her. Not this time.

I started back into the Bronze.

Janice grabbed hold of me and pulled me back.

'Like where do you think you're going?' she asked.

'I'm going back to get Buffy,' I told her. 'Either help me or keep out of my way.'

Janice let go of my arm and smiled.

'Well, if you put it like that,' she said, 'then I guess I'm going in with you.'

'I'm coming too,' Chrissie said.

'No, you're not,' Drew told her.

'What do you mean I'm not?' she demanded. 

'We didn't ask to get involved in this,' he replied. 'I say get out while the going's good.'

'You run and hide if you like, Drew,' Chrissie replied, 'but Dawn's my friend and that means I'm going to stand by her no matter what.'

The three of us stepped back inside.

I glanced to my right. Drew was there, too. I smiled gratefully at him. He ignored me.

Well, time to get this over with.

'Buffy!' I shouted.

She turned and looked at me.

'Get out of here, Dawn,' she said, 'it isn't your fight.'

'Like hell it isn't,' I called back. 'We're here to help you. We're ready to fight our way out if we have to.'

'That isn't the way this is going down, Dawn,' Buffy said. 'If we fight them we'll die. This way, the rest of you get to live. That's the thing about being the Slayer. It's not about the slaying at all. It's about the saving.'

'Buffy, don't do this,' I begged.

She turned her back on Drusilla.

'Trust me,' she said.

Then she winked at me.

I turned to my friends.

'Let's get out of here,' I said.

'But Buffy' Janice began.

'Buffy trusts me,' I told her. 'The least I can do is trust her.'

And I walked away, but I paused in the doorway - half in, half out of the club - and couldn't go on anymore.

Buffy turned back to Drusilla.

'Well?' she prompted.

'Do you give yourself up freely and of your own will?' Drusilla asked.

'I do,' Buffy replied, tilting her head to expose the creamy white flesh of her neck. She grinned cheekily. 'Bite me.'

Drusilla's human guise fell away as she morphed into her game-face. Then she sunk her teeth into Buffy's throat.

Buffy extended her arms out to her sides and other vampires gathered, sinking the teeth into her wrists and her forearms. Still others gathered at her feet, feeding from the arteries in her legs. There were too many vampires to all crowd round at once and latecomers tore others of their kind off of her in order to take their turn. One was so desperate that she ignored the prime feeding sites and instead sunk her fangs deep into Buffy's side.

Buffy's eyes rolled back and her eyelids fluttered. She gasped, though I couldn't tell if it was in agony or ecstasy and, to be honest, I didn't want to know. I wanted to turn away, to look anywhere, but at Buffy. But she was my sister and I refused to turn my back on her. She had never let me down and I owed it to her to be just as strong. But to see thosethose animals drinking from her

I threw up on my shoes.

My head was spinning and I reached out for the doorframe to steady myself. And I wasn't the only one going week at the knees. One by one the vampires staggered away from Buffy, weaving drunkenly through the Bronze.

A male vampire with a goatee raised his arm and I could see the flesh boiling away from his arm, exposing the bone. He screamed and the burst in a cloud of green dust.

Around the room other vampires began screaming as their flesh began blackening and blistering, their pain only halted by the deaths.

Drusilla staggered away from Buffy. Her flesh was falling from her face in chunks.

'You did this,' she said, pointing a bony finger accusingly at Buffy.

'Gotcha,' Buffy said, weakly.

Drusilla burst into flame and her wailing lingered in the room long after her body turned to ash.

Buffy lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. She didn't have much time left. There was blood on her fingers. Was it her own or did it belong to one of the vamps? Just maybe, this was her last chance to prolong her life.

Slowly, with the last of her strength, Buffy lifted her hand to her mouth.

I grabbed her hand and pulled it to her side before her fingers could touch her lips.

'No,' I said.

Buffy managed a weak smile.

'Thanks, Dawn,' she whispered. 'I think you may have saved me.' 

I knew we weren't talking about her life.

'Buffy, what happened?' I asked. 'What did you do?'

'Jonathan,' Buffy wheezed, coughing up bile. 'He spiked my blood. Only way.'

'No,' I cried, 'no there must have been something else. It shouldn't end like this.'

'Not end,' Buffy told me. 'Beginning. For you. Zauriel said. I've been holding you back. You're going to do great things, Dawn. If you're strong.'

'How can I be strong?' I wailed. 'I don't want to be alone.'

'You won't be alone. Never alone.'

'But I want you, Buffy,' I told her.

'I want to stay,' Buffy replied, 'but that's not how it's gonna be. Don't cry. You've got to be strong now, Dawn. You've gotta be strong for all of them. Promise me?'

I sniffed.

'Promise,' I said.

'Tell Giles,' Buffy began, 'tell him I hope I made him proud. And tell Angeldon't tell Angel anything. He'll understand.'

'Buffy,' I cried, tears flowing freely. 'Don't die. Please don't die.'

'Not got a lot of choice,' Buffy murmured. 'Just remember something, Dawn. Helping to raise you was the best thing I ever did.'

'Buffy!'

'I' But whatever she had been about to say was lost. She no longer had the breath in her body to form words. Slowly, gingerly, I reached forward and closed her eyes.

Outside the rain began to fall, the sky's own lament. 

And across town, in a cold bathtub, Helena's eyes snapped open.

I clutched Buffy's body to mine, trying to trap the last of the fleeing warmth as we rocked back and forth. I didn't know where we were going to go from here, but I did know one thing for sure.

Her death was going to change everything.

_The story continues in _Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Prelude_._


End file.
